this is a documentation of me trying to get better

I'm trying to want to be alive again I'll let you know how it goes--edit: I MADE IT GUYS

[inthemidstofgrowth]

Attention Seeker

I never thought I’d write about addiction,

I never thought I’d know it.

But this is it for sure,

This is it even if the doctors who are supposed to help me define it as a cry for attention. I’m the one who feels it and I am the one who gets to define it.

I feel any sort of pain, and I crave more.

I remember how it feels and I am almost pulled back into it.

I wash the knives after making dinner and begin to crave again. I catch a glimpse of the scissors in a cup with the pencils at work, hear anyone say the word in any context and feel it wash over me, feel it take over my thoughts again.

It’d be so easy to turn my back on recovery, it’d be so easy to run towards everything I’ve been working so hard to resist.

But “easy” isn’t what i’m going for here, because while regression is easy, I know that growth is hard and like I’ve been writing on every paper I touch- I am so fucking strong. I am so very fucking strong.

[positiveautistic-deactivated202]

Are you autistic too? I feel like my anxiety / depression comes along with being autistic so to me the concept of recovery just seems wrong/unachievable? I don't mean to bring negativity I promise. I really love your blog ♡

Yes. I totally understand. I don’t think it’s possible for every single person to ’recover’ from anxiety/depression, sadly mental illnesses are common among autistics, but i wouldn’t say autism is the cause for it, it really depends on how accepting and accomodating people around you are. And if you have been taught good coping skills (use stim toys, ear defenders etc etc).. about what i first mentioned: mental health is complex, and there is no set time for when you Are ’recovered’, some people have depressive episodes every month, some every other year. Some think they are fully recovered, and they relapse. It’s easy to fall back into old thinking patterns and behaviours. But from my own personal experience, it gets easier, you will learn how to deal with the relapses, and you will get back on track quicker, bc u have your skills. You have experience.

It may not go away, but it can, and will, get easier to deal with. Listen to your needs, don’t neglect yourself. And don’t be afraid to ask for help❤️

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Being kind isn't actually about how much shit you can quietly take. You can be kind and still shut down people who attempt to use and manipulate you. Kindness is about treating others well whenever you can, not about how much you're willing to suffer for others. So don't confuse being kind with being a victim and a pushover. No one with your best interests at heart will claim that it's the same thing.

[redshiftsinger]

Being truly kind often requires being assertive about upholding an expectation of decent behavior from others. Whether that's for yourself or on another's behalf, it's still kindness.

[lilcowgirl7-deactivated20210223]

I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back

[user87262893]

working out your brain is a must!!

• hydrate it by drinking lots of water

• eat dark chocolate and blueberries and walnuts and salmon and other foods high in antioxidants!!

• play little brain games on your phone; I like wordconenct! anything that makes you think!

• read books. It’s simple but necessary. Even better - join a book club, or read with a friend, so you can have discussions after. This will improve your reading comprehension.

• do puzzles - it doesnt have to be sudoku, I love playing Beat Saber on the Oculus Rift because it makes my brain have to match colorful patterns to physical movements very quickly!

• learn a new dance - even a tik tok trendy dance. Learning new dance moves are proven to strengthen synapses!!

• go bird watching, or foraging, or anything outdoors that requires you to explore pattern recognition and visual searching

• watch a movie with the intent of analysis - this is best done with a cinephile friend!! talk about tropes and symbolism and character growth

• cross stitch, or sew, or do anything that requires matching nimble hand movements to patterns

• play or learn an instrument!

• develop a consistent sleep schedule (or as close to consistent as you can get!)

• when eating, try to identify the ingredients and flavors you’re perceiving!

I hope this helps :)

[6sad-ghost-boy6]

Take a moment to care about yourself! <3

[aro-comics]

What is Love (An Arospec’s Perspective)

(This is a Really Long One, so full comic is under the cut)

Keep reading

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

Remember that recovery is not linear. Sometimes things seem to be going downhill, but that doesn’t mean you’re permanently broken or anything. Proud of you for making the effort to keep moving forward

Thank you very much for this reminder, i felt it lift my heart a bit.

[loomontoia]

Happy pride! Did something for Georgia Warr from loveless!

my ig

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Can we please stop associating being a good person with how much you're willing to suffer in silence for other people? You can be a kind person and still say "no, I don't have the time/energy to help you with that." You can be a kind person and still say "this makes me uncomfortable, please stop." You can be a kind person and still say "I disagree and here's why." You can be kind and still say "I'm not okay with this." Being kind is about treating people with kindness and respect, not about being the human equivalent of a doormat!

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

I was around 10 months clean before I ruined it last night.

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

And I keep thinking someone will care..

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

I was around 10 months clean before I ruined it last night.

[prettypositivity]

someday when you’re at peace, you’ll be so glad you didn’t give up

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

I used to think posts like this were so dumb, I used to write them off and say the people posting this stuff hadn't been through anything like I've been through but I've made it and I've been through hell. You will be glad that you didn't give up I promise you.

[aroaceconfessions]

Sometimes I wish I was anything but aroace. I know I should have pride and all that but I still feel kinda sad that I’m missing out on something most other people experience. It’s like I’m mourning the life I thought I’d have when I was little

[positivelyadhd]

sometimes we have really bad days, or weeks, or months and it sucks. it can feel like we've lost all our progress or we're never going to get where we want to be but I promise you, you will get there one day. for now, please just be gentle with yourself and look after yourself. you're doing the best that you can right now and I'm proud of you for that. having a bad time does not mean you've lost all your progress. you will have good days again, just like you did last time. just please go easy on yourself.

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

Needed to hear this but still having trouble believing it.

[pls-letthisbe-enough]

I can't decide if it hurts worse to not have anyone to open up to or to open up but not get a response until the next day.

[spvrkdala-deactivated20220621]

A list of resources to help Free Palestine

the israeli government is threatening further annexation of palestinian land. here’s how you can help.

Petition links-

calling on the us state department + department of defense to demand an end to israel’s forced displacement of palestinians from jerusalem

tell your state rep. to support the palestinian children and families act (h.r. 2590)

stop israel’s forced displacement of palestinians from east jerusalem

write canadian parliament to protect palestinian families in east jerusalem

Donation links-

unrwa, donations funded towards injured and displaced palestinian families

palestine children relief fund

further information-

free palestine carrd

stop annexation of palestine carrd

@/thearabkage on tiktok

please reblog/add sources!

[worldecay]

i remember all those nights when it felt easy to be alive

[thatwitchrevan]

I personally wanna see less ‘you are not a burden/it’s not work to love you’ and more ‘you are worth the work it takes to love you.’ I KNOW I’m a burden sometimes. that isn’t such a terrible thing! humans are strong. we can carry burdens. and it is work for me to be there for my friends, but it’s work I’m willing to do.

we need to acknowledge this because pretending love isn’t work will never make people like me feel less guilty for accepting love. we need to talk about it so people don’t feel bad for having boundaries and not always being up to do the work. we need to accept it so we can properly appreciate what others do for us and what we’re doing for them.

yes it does take work to love you. but guess what? you still deserve love, and you deserve people who are willing to do the work to love you. it doesn’t make you bad. all love take work. and everyone is worth it.

[garfleas]