just ignore me

[maxxie-or-smth]

half the thoughts i have aren't mine and i don't know where they're coming from

[soracities]

think it's a deep consolation to know that spiders dream, that monkeys tease predators, that dolphins have accents, that lions can be scared silly by a lone mongoose, that otters hold hands, and ants bury their dead. that there isn't their life and our life. nor your life and my life. that it's just one teetering and endless thread and all of us, all of us, are entangled w it as deep as entanglement goes. v neat i think.

[2colde]

i love leaning into a bad feeling #mytwistingknife

[yellow-cat]

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

[librarycards]

i am just moved by everything now. i'm porous and everything gets inside me

[invisible-goats]

The Kids just aren't being taught how to write a cv or cover letter huh

I've seen ones today including photos, dates of birth, place of birth even!

And also several formatted like they were writing a message to a friend! Full of exclamation marks! This is a formal document!

[invisible-goats]

this one is formatted like a powerpoint presentation. to be clear I'm not in charge of any descision making I'm just going through redacting identifying/potentially biasing info but like...some of these formatting decisions are also potentially biasing

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Yeah, I remember getting some wild ones when I was hiring manager

So many women feel the need to mention their young children in their cover letters and CVs. Some young people slip in that they can't drive, a sort of pre-emptive "but it's okay I have a bus pass". So many people go and shove their mental health issues with anxiety and depression in there.

I remember one girl had clearly been told that she needed to explain any gaps in employment in the cover letter (terrible blanket advice), and so had described how she had developed depression after a traumatic miscarriage and spent a year in a terrible spiral getting worse and worse before getting on a new medication that, and I quote, "seemed to be finally starting to work." There are ways she could have written that information if she was desperately wanting to include it (I cannot stress enough that she should not have included a word of it), but the way it was written was almost literally a description of how she would be a horrendously unreliable employee who could dip out at a moment's notice and would never be seen again, while also demonstrating that she cannot determine appropriate professional communication.

(And for the record, the latter is the actual issue. I have no problems at all hiring employees with mental health issues, and did several times hire people in recovery to help them get back on their feet. Only once did that not work out; all others were amazing, and two became some of our best employees - one is now a manager there, in fact. But if an employee can't be trusted not to over share personal information with customers or colleagues, particularly triggering topics... That's a different issue. She did herself no favours at all there, and nor did whoever told her employers will always need employment gaps explaining in a cover letter).

Another guy once wrote in his cover letter "I want this job because after years of messing about I now have a little girl, so I need to sort my life out for her, and if I can't do it even for her then more fool me." Which, like, I admire the drive and passion. But again. Why are you telling an employer that you're a flight risk. Why are you telling us this.

One 18 year old volunteered, unforced, that he was gay. Just right in the cover letter. That he sent to a future employer.

And then, of course, the thousands that send in CVs and cover letters that are horrendously mis-spelled. Again, as an employer, I care dick-all if you're dyslexic or what have you; but I do care that you didn't think it was important to get someone to proofread a professional document for you before submission. That tells me quite a big thing about the level of professionalism I can expect from you in the role. It wasn't massively relevant for the job I was hiring for (escape room game master), but if we'd had slightly different job duties (e.g. writing official soc med posts), that would be the difference between getting an interview or not.

Honestly, half of my role as a hiring manager was just... having to explain to the other hiring manager that she was being biased based on information neither of us should have had in the first place. And she wasn't a bad person, but bias gets you even if you don't want it to. Give yourself the best chance. Don't fuck it by sending in a dumbass cover letter.

[ace-of-bass]

Linking @bitchesgetriches great advice on cover letter writing here...

How To Write a Cover Letter Like You Actually Want the Job • Bitches Get Riches

Welcome back to another episode of The Bitches Teach You How to Get Your Ass Hired! Last time we reviewed some cardinal rules of resume writ

[puppy-pees-a-lot]

the dick sucking cuddler would like to rest its head on your tummy with no ulterior motive whatsoever

[jame7t]

hey wait a second. im alive & can experience things

[el-paraiso-de-eden]

Yes, I want to worship them, take them apart with my mouth, give them pleasure at heights they have never felt before, and fuck them to oblivion in ways that haven't been invented yet. I really, really do. But I also want to kiss them softly and reverently. Keep them warm, face craddled in my palms. I want to embrace them completely, pull them under my sweater and into my arms, through winds, and thunderstorms, and nightmares. Hold them close, be it sitting, standing, or laying down. Put leaves or flowers in their hair or behind their ears. Crowns of blooming petals in the spring. Nuzzling snowflakes off their cheeks in the winter. Make them presents, record them mixtapes, write them love letters, find them rare albums, send them postcards, fill their collections, pick them pinecones, buy them trinkets. Cry with them, laugh with them, cook with them, walk with them, dance with them, read with them. Fight with them, fight for them. Stand with them, be brave with them. Look after a pet with them, travel the world with them, build a home with them. Good or bad, I want everything with them.

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI ! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED !

[amoebasfantasy]

keep talking, baby. i’m just going to rest my head on your lap and trace circles on your thighs with my fingertips while you tell me how your day was. forgive me if my hands or lips wander between your legs to tease you through your underwear. i promise i’m listening, but i want to help you relax. shhh, let me pull these to the side and make you feel even better

[starrrrys]

desperately wanna be yapping about something for waayyy too long but then you start petting my hair and i immediately stop speaking and push up into your hand. i immediately relax into you and lay my head on your lap. you ask me what i was talking about again and i just mumble something incoherent…

[b-yyearns]

hickies and bitemarks on thighs. thats it. thats the post.

[lexthermxtt]

need a boy to let me experiment with his body. just lay back and let me watch how you twitch, when you squirm, the sounds you make. find out every little bit of your pleasure by studying you, you don't have to be nervous, the most beautiful things deserve to be learned. spend hours tracing my fingers along you, feeling every little pulse beneath your skin. god i could just tear you apart you're so handsome like this

[restinpiss]

The feeling of picking your skin is infinitely more euphoric than any fidget toy

[yellow-cat]

(opening my ribcage) and this is where i keep my hot stab of shame

[plsjustletmebee]

I put myself in time out.

I think there’s a behavior of mine that I can’t say that I particularly enjoy. I pout. I’m a pouter. I’m very good at shutting down. at making myself small. and quiet

Sometimes people are done with me; i’ve rambled on too long incomprehensibly, desperate to be understood. or i’ve

or i’ve what? or i’ve what. what have I done? Please tell me what I’ve done to earn your ire. have i let us both get hangry?

i’m gonna go eat

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

[evilscientist3]

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?