oops @pocahhotmess - Tumblr Blog

bitesizedbethany-deactivated201

Just because you are lonely does not mean you should invite someone toxic back into your life.

tastefullyoffensive

My kind of party. (via _cooper)

dutchster

Wait! there’s more!

this is the best thing ever

jaethefade

YO THIS GIRL JUST STRAIGHT UP CAME OVER TO MY LITTLE TABLE AT THE FOOD COURT IN THE MALL AND KNOCKED MY SHIT OFF OF IT CLAIMING I WAS HAVING SEX WITH HER DUDE. I ALMOST GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH A HEAVY SET RACIALLY AMBIGUOUS WOMAN. HER BOYFRIEND WAS THERE AND CAME OVER AND THEY STARTED ARGUING ABOUT HOW I WASN'T REALLY THE GIRL AND IM LIKE BRUH, MY LOADED FRIES THOUGH. I WAS PISSED. I MADE THAT GIRL GET ME ANOTHER LOADED FRY AND LEMONADE AND TOLD HER TO LEAVE HIS WACK AS IF HE MAKES HER ACT LIKE THAT. ESPECIALLY IF HE DIDNT EVEN HAVE MONEY ON HIM TO BUY ME ANOTHER LOADED FRY KNOWING DAMN WELL HE WAS PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE TOO. THERE IS A MORAL TO THIS STORY AND I FEEL LIKE I'D BE DOING ALL OF YOU A DISSERVICE IF I DID NOT SHARE IT: ALWAYS COUNT YOUR FRIES. COUNT OTHER PEOPLES FRIES. COUNT ALL FRIES. BECAUSE I WAS ALMOST DONE WITH MY LOADED FRIES. IT WAS ONLY LIKE FOUR FRIES LEFT. AND I GOT A WHOLE NEW ONE FOR FREE BECAUSE THOSE TWO WEREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO LOOK ON THE GROUND AND COUNT FOR THEMSELVES. THIS IS A TRUE STORY AND I AM CACKLINGGGGG

brainstatic

j4ya

so two sisters inherit a ranch. they decide to work on it a bit and after a while realize that they need a bull in order to help them around the place. so they gather together all the spare money they have—around four hundred dollars—and one sister looks at listings online and finds a man a while away who’s got a bull to sell. she decides that she’ll travel down to see him alone and tells her sister that she’ll send a telegram so that the sister can drive down with their truck if they are able to get the bull.

so the sister eventually reaches the man who’s selling his bull and asks what his price will be. he says, “listen. I won’t take a dollar less than three hundred and ninety-nine dollars.” so the sister agrees and pays him the amount, leaving her with one dollar. then she goes to the post office and asks to send a telegram back to her sister to let her know that she’s got the bull so her sister should come and pick them up. but when she asks the person at the counter, they tell her that the telegram costs a dollar per word. the sister only has one dollar so she picks a word carefully and sends the telegram.

what word does she pick?

j4ya

“comfortable”

willietheshakes

Dogs on TV always look so stiff. Like they’re supposed to be just sitting there but you can tell that the dog is like “!!!! Am good boy!!! Am hold position!!! Am look off stage at handler!!! Hi handler!!! Ready your finest treats for the good boy!!!”

wickedpissahnerd

My favorite are dogs who are supposed to be fierce but are so clearly playing at it. Just dubbing in growls can’t change that butt-wiggle of “I’m doing THE THING and soon I’ll get PRAISE and play with MY TOY”

willietheshakes

Yes. This too.