poems by peter webb @poemsbypeter - Tumblr Blog

huge big large colossal enormous vast giant immense monstrous gargantuan humongous outrageous massive monumental towering titanic jumbo immoderate extensive elephantine broad behemoth cosmic ridiculous disproportionate immeasurable oversized whopping tremendous epic jumbo substantive considerable mega hulking grand astronomical ginormous mammoth mighty overgrown sizeable lofty significant substantial bulky voluminous king-sized mountainous bountiful excessive gigantic

teenjournalist

BREAKING: The beloved dodgeball that had been stuck in the gym rafters since 2004 has been knocked down. The item used to free the ball, a basketball thrown by bored varsity players, immediately became stuck in its place

pastabot

any girls online

pastabot

Hello?

boogie-woogie-boogie

They all despawned :(

pastabot

By the nine divines this can’t be happening

rhodonata

They always say the human body is 90% water but I’m different, I’m like 10% muck… 20% swill…

rhodonata

highlandvalley

https://twitter.com/hidekiccan/status/1414210508433985539

down with cis truck

Transport

[video: Hideo Kojima plays a nintendo switch game where he and another player (both of whom are wearing sheriff’s hats) have a standoff, controllers at their sides, waiting to draw quicker than the other. Kojima adjusts his hat, looks at the onlookers, looks at the screen, then faces back to his opponent. they stare each other down for a tense moment. before the opponent can even react, Kojima draws first, lightning quick, and shoots. his opponent is visibly upset, having clearly underestimated Kojima, who begins flipping his controller around as if it were a revolver, finishing up by blowing the (non-existent) smoke from the barrel. an ocelot’s meow echoes as the camera zooms in on his face]

kreetn

You’re…pretty good

borbtort

i still can’t believe he guesses the EXACT time it says fire. no human can react like that. then again..

guerrillatech

plumknodel

no more catboys. catmen . 28 yr old washed up depressed catman downing his 5th whiskey glass and his cat ears twitch depressedly

toastbutteregg

hustlerose

the last living defender of Baby Its Cold Outside sits on top of a pile of corpses, combat shotgun resting on her hip. the hordes just keep coming, every december. “it’s kinda rapey by modern standards” they say, “dubiously consensual at best!” she lights her last cigarette. they’ll never understand that it’s actually just coy and flirtatious in a cute old fashioned way. they don’t pick up on the subtle irony of it all. some people just don’t listen