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Motivational Quotes, Alternative Edition

[1] No, its Missouri that hates company. [2] Self isolation means always smartest in the room. [3] Even the smoke alarm is cheering you on. [4] Better never than late. [5] It might be opportunity rather than bailiffs.

#creative writing #writing #poetry #poem #Poems #motivation #motivational #quotes #alternative

The Museum of Human Achievement - An Unfortunate Update

Dear Patron, We regret to inform you that next month The Museum of Human Achievement will be closing its doors for the final time. As you might be aware, after an unsuccessful bid to secure funding the site has been sold to and will now fall under The Museum for Human Progress Syndicate Group for the foreseeable future. At this time, we would like to thank all of our patrons and announce that our new project 'The Pop-Up Shop of Regretful Endurance' will be coming to a street corner near you. Yours sincerely, Acting Director - Human Resources

#poem #Poems #poetry #writing #creative writing #museum #human #achievement #update #unfortunate #human achievement

Job Application, Answer Sheet

[1] Mothers Womb really is my previous address. [2] I mainly mind my mind’s full being mindful. [3] Weaknesses also include being sheepish in front of goats. [4] I prefer CDO to OCD for alphabetical reasons.

#poem #Poems #poetry #writing #creative writing #job #job application #application #answer #answers

Unchartered Survey, Abridged Edition

1. What is the worst letter of the alphabet? a) B b) C C) A 2. What type of questions do you prefer? a) Multiple choice b) Rhetorical c) Multiple choice 3. Have you ever experienced deja vu? a) No b) No c) Yes 4. What does a red stone thrown into a blue sea become? a) Symbolic b) Magic c) Wet

#poem #Poems #poetry #writing #creative writing #survey #abc #multiple choice #quiz #abridge

Lessons Learned: Fifty-Three through Fifty-Seven

53. One through Fifty-Two were a grave mistake. 54. After the storm comes the insurance claim. 55. Halloween is just Christmas for nightmares. 56. Water metaphors don’t always go down well. 57. I left because nothing went right.

#poem #Poems #poetry #writing #creative writing #leason #life leasons

Ancient Wisdom, Practical Edition

[1] As your own lawyer you are never out of work. [2] The hill gets only steeper if lying down. [3] Never assume others don’t make presumptions. [4] True wisdom is never written down.

#poetry #poem #Poems #creative writing #writing #wisdom #ancient #practical #edition

Editorial Feedback Notes

[1] Going round in circles is not reinventing the wheel. [2] The gardening metaphors need weeding out. [3] Always avoid adopting aliteration ad nauseam. [4] Mixed metaphors are a can of worms in sheep’s clothing. [5] Ends abruptly.

#poem #Poems #poetry #editorial #feedback #action plan #writing #creative writing

Advanced Signs of Failure

[1] Your inner demon moves out. [2] Being unable picture an imagination barrier. [3] Drinking to forget you drink to forget. [4] Not talking to yourself because you’re scared of him. [5] The future calls demanding a refund.

#poem #Poems #poetry #Signs #failure #advanced #creative writing #writing

Variations On Popular Sayings

[1] Don’t judge a book by its press release. [2] Abscess makes the heart go flounder. [3] Don’t put off until tomorrow the time machine you can build today. [4] Absolute statements corrupts absolutely. [5] Sugar never truly hides the lemon, or the bodies.

#poerty #poem #Poems #writing #creative writing #variation #popular

My Poetry Awards Thus Far

[1] Being part of the audience for best newcomer. [2] Runner up as an honourable mention. [3] Fourth place for use of repetition for four years running. [4] Vomiting alphabet spagetti at a spelling bee.

#poetry #poem #poems #awards #creative writing #writing

Elements, One to Four

[1] Air is the still-moving ghost wind. [2] With new boots over old ground great feats made. [3] Time is the fire upon your marshmallow life. [4] Actually, the horse led me to water.

#poem #poems #poerty #writing #creative writing #elements #fire #water #air #earth #one #four

Failed Greeting Cards Submissions

[1] Best of luck in this volatile economy. [2] The majority of us are sorry to see you go. [3] Congratulations if the baby was planned. [4] May your new home be better than prison. [5] Toilets get engaged too.

#poetry #poem #Poems #writing #creative writing #submissions #greetings card #fail #failed

Regrettable Business Card Straplines

[1] The once and future king. [2] Even my therapist left me. [3] Sweating is just liquid confidence. [4] I will break you first. [5] My lawyers details are overleaf.

#poem #Poems #poetry #regret #business card #strapline #writing #creative writing

Seasonal Notes, One Through Four

[1] That I lived it up is something I can’t live down. [2] The bridges I burned did not light the way. [3] All these atheists can go to hell. [4] I eat oranges whenever I’m feeling blue.

#poetry #poem #Poems #writing #creative writing #seasonal #notes

Numerology

[1] I have only a 2% attendance record with the Antisocial Social Club. [2] One does not always find safety in numbers. [3] 668 is the neighbour of the beast. [4] Maths is as easy as pie.

#poem #Poems #poetry #writing #creative writing #numerology

Potential Last Lines for Novels I have Yet To Write

[1] Please see page one for callback. [2] I really hit my stride in the sequel. [3] Everybody, including the dog, died. [4] My editor was on holiday.

#poem #Poems #writing #creative writing #last lines #Novel #novels #potential

Poetry Development Session Feedback

[1] Bad analogies are like a rainbow. [2] Knocking the tops off mountains only fills in the valleys. [3] Style is not a mistake repeated. [4] Mistakes repeated are a style not. [5] I verbed the nouns all over my cliché.

#poem #Poems #poetry #creative writing #writing #development #session #feedback

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