âAnd if youâll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, Iâll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A yearâs supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!â Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who werenât throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshiâs turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience⌠and shook his head.
âI can see not all of you are eating properly.â
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
âI donât know who needs to hear this, but itâs time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
âThe food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sunâs rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
âEat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.â
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. âIs he really like that?â somebody said. âI only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.â
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
âY-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I donât know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but⌠YOU thought I did good, didnât you, Kris?â
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
âYou did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that weâve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if sheâs a dinosaur or --â
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laiosâs head.
âLAIOS?? Werenât we dressed up to help SENSHI???â Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
âHey, WAIT a second. SOMETHINGâs not right here...â
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
âWhere the heck are my POINTS!?â
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
âCHILCHUCK!!!â yelled Tenna.
âHow come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?â yelled Marcille at the same time.
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
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romaincrisis
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s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
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