suk a dog dik

i'm riley and i don't even know how to blog

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[gingersofficial]

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

Me, passing someone on the highway: bitch

Me, being passed on the highway: bitch

[mesopelagic]

this was on a post about julius caesar

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

i know a guy who’s bought in entirely to microsoft’s ecosystem. he’s got a windows 10 computer, windows phone, uses microsoft edge, and has bing as his main search engine. he refers to looking things up on the internet as ‘binging’ it. very surreal, never met anyone else like that

[carbink]

that was the devil

[brucebocchi]

[havocs-archived]

[stability]

[danielkanhai]

i remember when i was little and i had to microwave something i’d always ask my mom how much time i needed to microwave it. like i thought at some point adults just learned the right amount of time to microwave anything. she was always right too so i believed her. now i’m an adult and i realized she didn’t know the right times for stuff. she just made it up. she’d be like, “i don’t know, a minute thirty?” and i’d walk away like, “wow how did she know that?” i used to think microwave times were like cooking laws you never broke. now i just throw shit in the microwave and set it on a whim. one minute? two minutes? four minutes? who cares? nothing is what you think it is. 

[animatedtext]

none

[brbjellyfishing]

[askinnyblackman]

source?????

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[homoprince]

Beyoncé: *purchases new laptop and uses it for the first time*

The FBI Agent that’s assigned to her:

[hijerking]

D I S R E S P E C T   Y O U R   S U R R O U N D I N G S

[veeranger]

real gamers want to fuck peach and bowser 

[swoodthis]

No we don’t, what the hell?

[kylejos-deactivated20180222]

Boys, we found a Fake Gamer!

[swoodthis]

Please enlighten me on how not obsessing over orgy fanfiction makes me less of a gamer. You’re probably kidding, and I hope you are, but now the time for me to say it.

WANTING TO FUCK A GAME’S CHARACTERS DOESNT MAKE YOU A BIGGER, BETTER OR MORE CREDIBLE FAN.

[veeranger]

[laundryandtaxes]

The thing about the “and they were roommates” girl is I bet she really did just say something truly wild or explosive that totally warranted the unbelieving “and they were roommates”

[poleece]

me: i hate drama im gonna stay out of it :/

someone: guess what happened

me: WHAT HAPPENED BITCH 👀🕵👂🏻📝☕️