where are we?

identity confusion --- a psychological state characterized by a lack of a clear, coherent sense of self.

[poly-stars]

☆ "say hello to the stars!" ☆

hello! this is a blog about our polymindence and documenting our experiences of living free and happy as well as working with each other to become a better whole /hopefully/.

we are eighteen, and he/it is okay for any of us. you can see basic information on our mindset here. this blog and related materials are usually managed by indigo.

☆ other blogs ☆

@earthling-in-teyvat --- main blog

@ruethesparrow --- sheridan's blog

@darlin9 --- darling's blog

DNI . . . jk rowling enjoyers, vivziepop enjoyers, anti yandere, anti endo, radqueers

[poly-stars]

Something I love, love, love about polymind coining posts is that they arise from someone filling out a need. Polymindence is a coping mechanism largely about naming facets of one's self in order to realize it and make any issues or emotions easier to work through, so each coining post is someone recognizing how their mind works and taking a step forward.

Idk. I believe in us. I believe we can get better. I can't go on like this forever.

[poly-stars]

New job terms!

ECCEDENTESIAST --- a mind who hides their turmoil behind a smile, forced happiness.

REPRESSOR --- a mind whose activity is linked to repressing trauma or otherwise bad events.

VENT UNDER THE CUT

Inspired by Sparrow because we stopped at our family's home to collect a few things (we're trying to move out) and our grandmother's excitement to see us extinguished as soon as we told her why we were there. One of Sparrow's favorite activities is biking and so on our way back he became active and had us focus on that and the looming storm instead of the terrible reminder that we haven't really had a family for a long while and that those we call family were so distant that they can't see how terrible us living there is for us. It kills us everytime we have to talk about wanting to move out to our grandmother because she only offers discouragement and tells us we can keep living there. We've been sleeping on the living room couch for about a year and a half, carrying what we could around with us in a backpack as we tried to be out of the house for as much of a day as possible. There is no room for us there, and there hasn't been for years.

[poly-stars]

I hate being new to polymindence. I wish using it's structuring wasn't a skill I needed to learn. I hate that I've run away (legit left the house at 3am and haven't gone back for a few days) and nobody's texted me asking if we are okay and I don't even know how to properly use the coping mechanism. This isn't a high-stakes, heart-racing, scratching-my-skin-'til-I-bleed traumatic situation, so the mind we've relied on for so many years (Pan) isn't coming into save the day and I'm left to force myself into thinking that everything is okay and I am okay and the fact that my family doesn't love me doesn't matter because at least I, at fucking eighteen years old, have my imaginary friends who'll always be there for me and won't fucking decide I'm too much, force me to repress all my negative emotions in order to be palatable and ignorable and AHHHHHHH.

Anywho! I'm playing a yandere game on itch.io called Knee Deep! I've only just gotten around to it after having it bookmarked for about a month because when we first tried to play it, our "mom" decided to get mad at us for being curt with her even though we haven't had a good relationship in years??? It was sooo super stupid. Bad memory. Tonight will be good though. These boys will love me. <333

[puppetedmindset]

Guys there is less and less active people in the polymind community, we need to lock the fuck in, our community is dying!!!!

Quick sound the alarms!! More positivity!! More rants!!!! More mindcourse!!!!!!!

/silly /hsrs

- 📞 Spam

[what-the-flock]

"Differentiating your sub-personalities is harmful."

I spent so long fighting myself and feeling shame and frustration over past decisions. I didn't understand why I did that, or why I felt that way in the moment. All of the contradictions I held within myself felt messy and unmanageable.

By identifying the different parts of myself (minds), I was able to parse out these confusing aspects of my psyche. I can treat my past self with mercy, and reflect on my emotions/feelings to understand what I need most. All of my minds are acting in what they think is my best interest, but sometimes they go about it in the wrong way. They may influence me to isolate myself because they think they are protecting me from stress, or seek attention in an off-putting way because they are lonely or need help. I can step back and ask myself, "Who is acting here? Is what they desire productive for my well-being, or is it actually maladaptive?"

[poly-stars]

photos taken by sparrow on our walk home from work the other day. largest light is the moon, trailed after by two stars. posted by indigo on its behalf :).

[poly-stars]

Read "what do the stars say" the same way as "what does the fox say", and I think ding is a perfect noise for stars

/ding/ is definitely an onomatopoeia i would associate with stars. i would imagine it to be high-pitched and quick. i don't think bells are an uncommon sound effect for stars. now i wonder how our stars would differ in sound... if only supernovas had a sound irl. i bet that would be sick.

[poly-stars]

Pan is a special mind to us. He has never been /us/ no matter our attempts to integrate him, and that's been really important to our dynamic. When ascribing him jobs, I chose /plush/ and /heart/, both of which describe minds who offer care and security. We've really appreciated our years with him due to this important role he's played in our life.

Thank you, Pan.

[freefreerfree]

s'more polymind terms for the soul ,, ^_^

clutter — a sub-term for hazy !! where so many minds are active that you can't be specific or sure of who is at the head

mindbound — a person ,, place ,, object etc. that triggers a swap to a certain mind // minds . uhmm sentence examples like " A is mindbound to my sketchbook ,, and my sewing box is mindbound to B " or " school is mindbound for us "

bracelet — a mind that is always or often co-active with others ,, very rarely contradicting that . similar to dualing but combinations have more variety

artisan — a mind that focuses on making or is skilled in crafts // design of any kind . - similar to creator !

[ruethesparrow]

Today I felt called to the lake. When I arrived, I was immediately taken by my surroundings. Every blade of grass, every leaf, the rolling clouds, they all came together to bring me and the them, the earth, together. It was beautiful. Eventually though, the downpour began and my clarity was washed away as my clothes soaked through.