Via aleksartemporium
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Cosmic Funnies
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS

@theartofmadeline
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ellievsbear
KIROKAZE

tannertan36

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

titsay

Origami Around
Peter Solarz
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
art blog(derogatory)
trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane
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@polyacrylamidepensieve
Via aleksartemporium
(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)
Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught
*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish
my summer plans consist of unclenching my jaw + forgiving myself
POWEROUS
I love this, because there’s obviously something very clever going on to analyse patterns of language, but it’s also profoundly ignorant.
[ID: A screenshot of a Grammarly correction, labelled “clarity: conciseness”. The original text reads “Every book, which wasn’t many…” This is crossed out with the suggestion “Everyn’t many book” and the note “Consider shortening this phrase.” /end id]
Story time: this reminds me of some kids in an English class I’m in. They were doing written work and the teacher and I were going around checking their work. They had to do like, “do/do not”, and one example was “prepare”. Something like “My father does not/doesn’t prepare dinner”. I look at this one kid’s paper and this galaxy-brained child had written “My father preparen’t dinner” and it took everything in me to not lose it laughing right there like. This child saw a pattern and ran with it and I respect that.
Intermittentlysmitten hid this in the tags and shouldn’t have.
Reminds me of that post on how Irish(?) doesn’t have a way to use “yes” or “no” to answer a verb question, or something like that, so that if somebody asks if you murdered somebody you can’t say “yes” or “no,” you have to say “I did murder” or “I didn’t murder,” which led my brain to produce the negative verb “murdidn’t.”
In the spirit of this post: *shouldn’t’ve hidden it in the tags. 😂
Biiig stretch
Writing tips:
“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context
“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets
Both options convey that he's horny
How dare you be funnier than me on my own post
Oh, to be a little kitten who just got vaccinated and then taken to a high-end restaurant and tasted the best food the chefs could offer and then fell asleep in a basket.
Annual deer post:
If you see a fawn laying down on the ground all alone, leave it alone. It is not lost, it does not need your help, do not pick it up, do not move it.
This behavior evolved to keep deer young safe. The baby is very small, very quiet, and hard for most predators to see. A young fawn cannot keep up with a fleeing mother deer, which is their primary problem-solving strategy. So while the mother goes elsewhere to graze, the fawn stays safe and hidden. The mom will be back.
Leave the fawn alone.
This is always good to pass around this time of year, but I would like to add something for the few of us who might be encountering the moose kind of deer.
Moose are deer, but moose have the opposite strategy. They stay close to their babies, and their primary response for anything getting close to their babies is immediate violent murder. If you do see a baby moose by itself, leave. Leave the baby alone and leave the area, preferably quickly. Momma is at most 30 yards away and has already kicked on the kill bill sirens.
the things I've learned from my mom
Not to be rhe ten millionth person to say “USAmerican President Donald Trump Is An Incoherent Public Speaker Whose Train Of Thought Can Be Best Described As Scat Jazz” but I just remembered that when he talks at international events it is several dozen people’s job to translate what he’s saying and what he intends to say to world leaders in real time
And I desperately wish to hear how they do it
If anyone reading this isn’t fluent enough in English to understand the sentences that man says, please know that he has essentially mixed a number of adjectives and topics together in a hat and is pulling them out at random like a horrible children’s game
Like that waxy jaundiced bitch will straight up be like “J'étais sur internet l'autre jour – internet, la plus grande invention américaine. Et la Chine a “internet aussi. Pas un bon internet, pas comme le mien, j'ai un internet formidable. Les gens me disent : « Donald, ton internet est génial ! » On adore l'internet de Donald. Mais la Chine… Chine, Chine, Chine… Vous savez qu'ils mangent des oiseaux ? C'est terrible. J'adore les oiseaux. La Chine mange des oiseaux. Pas comme nous. Pas comme mes oiseaux. Mais vous savez, c'est comme ça, et c'est terrible. Mais voilà ce que je vais faire : je vais sauver les oiseaux. Je vais sauver internet et sauver les oiseaux. Tous ces magnifiques oiseaux. Pour l'Amérique. Et la Chine va nous détester pour ça. Ils vont nous détester parce qu'on est les meilleurs sur oiseaux”. And people will lose their minds
International translators have had this problem for A While - if they *don't* clean up what he says to sound coherent, they look like they're doing a bad job.
Explore Trump translation challenges, tips for interpreters, and 2025 strategies for accurate political translation and Trumpslation success
oh my god
There was a scandal in Poland because one translator decided to translate him accurately, tone, vocabulary level and word salad tangents and all. Polish conservatives who don't speak English and previously only heard smoothed out translations that sounded coherent and used big words were up in arms about how the translator was "inserting her political agenda", "mocking him", "exaggerating", "purposefully trying to make him look bad" and "incredibly unprofessional". I listened to the translation in question. It was literally just accurate.
Growing up with your starters
Artist: esasi8794 / Twitter
The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:
Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.
Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.
Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.
Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.
Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.
Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!
@noelle217
This is adorable
They just posted some more!
[source]
And some more!
You forgot these!!!
I’m disappointed that these were left out
SO MANY GOOD ONES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
If I ever don’t reblog this, kill me