Polyamory @polyamory-place - Tumblr Blog

Hello! Me and my bf of 1 and 1/2 years are newly poly. There is a couple we have been friends with for many years now and would like to pursue a relationship with but we are unsure how to bridge the communication gap, and we don't want to appear predatory and potentially ruin the existing friendship between us and the couple. Advice?

Heya hun~ I mean, first of all I suppose I have to assume that this couple knows that you’re poly! Assuming they do, secondly, it’s important to know for yourself how you want the future to look with these people. Are you ONLY interested in them if you’re together as a quad? Because of course, you all might be poly, and very happy for it, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to both necessarily be into both of you! So think about all of this. Finally, a relaxing afternoon, maybe with a drink or two, some relaxing activity or something, and casually broach the subject. Mention you’re interested in them, but make it clear that the friendship is more important. If they’re not interested, then no harm. Any other advice followers?

Hey not-anon from the question:

If you're thinking about polyamory and wanting to hopefully explore in the lifestyle...

Well first of all, a good long sit down discussion with your partner sounds like it's in order. Bring it up, assuage worries, set some guidelines, be fair to each other.

Give them space to think it over if they need it, give them resources to read, to learn (more than two, polyamory subreddit, etc). But at the end of the day, keep in mind that they may not be comfortable with either being poly themselves, or with dating someone who is, and you might have to decide what's more important to you

Where is a good place to meet other poly ppl?

It depends on your location! A lot of places have local facebook pages for poly folks, some open groups, some closed! Otherwise, finding Poly people on dating apps/sites can give you an in to the community! :)

I’m afab non-binary and I have a boyfriend and a trans girlfriend. My boyfriend doesn’t want a kid and doesn’t know me and my girlfriend low key are trying for one and most people (esp unaccepting family) would assume it’s his and he would freak out. On top of everything me and my boyfriend are 20 while my girlfriend is 28

Hi anon,

I mean, it would probably be a fantastic idea to talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you are interested in having children and it doesn’t have to be with him but it’s an important part of your life that you’re extremely excited for. Um secondly, if your girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable outing herself as one of the biological parent, then you can always make stuff up! *shrugs* Got pregnant from a hookup, sperm donor, etc. People aren’t obligated to know the truth from you!

polyamzeal

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eternal-fractal

POLYAM POSITIVITY HELL YEAH

harvestspriteirl

Wait are we allowed to use cheating memes to make polyam positivity posts now because if so I’m down to go off

$eternal-fractal blog's avatar$

eternal-fractal

YOU ARE MORE THAN REQUIRED TO

tomanto-the-friendly-nb

OK I’M GONNA GO AHEAD YALL

I MADE SUM

Hey, I just started questioning if I'm polyamorus. I love the idea of being in a relationship with more than one person, but ONLY if we're all in a relationship together, if that makes sense. Like if it was with 3 people, the other two people I love also live each other, if that makes sense. Is that polyamorus, or something else? Also, does me being lithromantic/aromantic affect that? Are there polyamorus QPR's?

There are definitely closed triads and quads around! And being lithromantic/aromantic absolutely doesn’t affect your ability to be polyamorous. :)

filmaticbby

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new.”

Her (2013) dir. Spike Jonze

polyamory-place

Seriously, watch this film.

It’s beautiful and human and full of people that make mistakes and do the wrong thing but are dull of love and light

Hey, I have a question. I was recently in a traid relationship with a couple that I have been friends with for 5 years and dated for 2 1/2 years. We broke up because the girl in our relationship didn't feel comfortable being with another girl(me). We're still friends and live together but it's hard seeing them still be a happy couple while I still have feelings for both of them. They tell they still feel the same for me but she doesn't want to get back together. Any advice on how to move on?

Hi anon! This sounds like a really hard situation. I’m super not sure how you would start to move on. Normally the answer is to get some space from them/the situation, but of course here, that’s really, really hard :( Maybe some followers might have ideas?

hey! so my big question for this blog/anyone else is: for specifically three person relationships, how does everyone decide who ends up all lonely in the back seat when you drive? is it whoever loses the thumb wrestle, case by case basis, etc? follow up question for anyone is which seats get first dibs on messing with the radio?

I think people do a lot of paper-scissors-rock! Also it might just be me, but I’m always of the opinion that the driver gets the first choice of radio!

certainnerdcupcake

How do you deal with being in love of someone and that someone loving you back but not wanting to initiate a relationship with you because you’re polyamorous?

ruralpoly

First and foremost: You respect their damn boundaries and don’t try to force a romantic or sexual relationship.

Polyamory is about love and respect. It’s loving someone in such a way that they are free to be their whole and complete selves.

I’m personally in this situation. I’ve known L for over 10 years and would say I’ve loved her for most of that. She has told me she loves me but will not accept polyamory.

Our friendship IS a relationship. Full stop.

We both think that is more important to both of us to respect each other’s choices then to try to push those boundaries.

We have never had sex and probably never will and I’m actually happy with that.

Define your relationships so that work for all parties involved.

2-face

hey why is clickhole so good sometimes

I don't know if I'm poly. I think I might be. I have a partner and love him very much. But I also desire having a second partner. Ideally it'd be all three of us together instead of me dating both of them but them not dating each other. I'd never want more than two partners. Thing is... I wouldn't want an open relationship shit where we're free to date whoever. I'd want a committed closed relationship with three people. Is this polyamory? Is this okay? Sorry if I said something rude. Thanks

Hi there anon!

This is called a closed triad and is a very valid form of polyamory.

Buuut, coming into a relationship like that has many pitfalls and issues! Take care to not become a unicorn hunter!

And it may be useful to you if you go read some of the unicorn hunter/triad horror stories, so you see where people can fuck up big time.

Have you read any of C.L. Stone's books?

I haven't, no! :)