PolyPanLife @polypanlife - Tumblr Blog

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thethera-rossa

"It has nothing to do with gender." - Keaton

polypanlife

Bangkok Love Stories: Innocence

twitblr

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

isa-ghost

This is one of the most adorable Pride posts I’ve ever seen

ebonykain

Scheduling this to reblog on the day before National Coming Out Day (Oct 11th).

Because if your aren’t ready yet, for any reason, that is your right to not come out yet.

If YOU are out but have a friend who is NOT, it is not your right to out them. Respect their wishes, respect their safety, respect their health.

Encouraging your friends by promising to stand with them when they come out: Good.

Bullying your friends by saying they owe it to the LGBTQIA+ community to come out: Bad.

It’s okay if someone isn’t ready yet.

thechekhov

As someone who was outed against my will LONG before it was safe for me to be out to my family, I’m gonna say this as loudly as I can:

You don’t HAVE to come out! To anyone! You don’t owe it to anyone. Nothing is more important than your safety. If it’s better for your situation to stay closeted, please do that!

Coming out should be a personal decision. It should be a choice you make because you feel you will be happier for it. It should be something you do when you believe it will enrich your life.

idontevenwatchbl

you’re right and you should say it

polypanlife

Say it louder for the people in the back! One of the many reasons I love this show!

Show: 3 Will Be Free

blcentral

3 Will Be Free: A little review of a movie involving a queer polyamorus story line from a queer polyamorus person

I’ll do the tldr first but I highly suggest you read the rest of the post especially if you’ve already seen the series. This series can be watched on Youtube with subtitles in multiple languages here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF_GA6YLge4&list=PLszepnkojZI56CIqVZKRs0fxJ3YxjNnm2

tldr:

A Thai drama based around 3 people running from the mafia and creating a beautiful bond amidst running for their lives. A series with an amazing cast, story, scenery, ost, and representation for both the queer, trans, and polyam communities.

Holy fuck can I just say I cannot possibly recommend this enough.

So a basic overview of the show: This is a Thai show, 10 episodes long, made from the media company GMMTV (mostly known for doing Boy’s Love (BL) series)

The three main characters are:

Neo: A stripper/prostitute who gets involved with the wife of a mafia boss

Miw: A gogo bar hostess with a troubled past

And Shin: The son of a mafia boss with past of both Neo and Miw

Some shenanigans occur and the wife of the mafia boss/Shin’s step-mom as well as the boss’s right hand get killed. This leads our dynamic trio to go on the run. The ways they help each other and the bond they grow allows them to learn more about themselves, each other, and what truly matters in life and how one lives it.

Everyone in the cast did an amazing job. It was so great to see so many other GMMTV actors in roles so different than what I’ve seen from them before. It really shows their range as actors and what they have the potential to do.

The lighting was great, the scenes were great, all of the side stories and side characters were given depth and range, the locations were beautiful. I never knew how it was going to end. This kind of story there are a million ways it could end and every time I thought I had it figured out something else would happen and completley switch it up.

Another thing that I want to give GMMTV credit for for this series is the level of diversity. We have, not only queer characters, but different types of queer characters. We have people of all sizes, shapes, colors, and everyone is on the same level. GMMTV is very guilty for colorism in many of their other shows, it’s usually my biggest complaint about them, but they did such an amazing job with this. To be honest if it wasn’t for the amount of regular GMMTV actors I would be convinced this wasn’t from the same company.

One of the things I love the most about this series is they could have easily told the same story with no queer characters, no polyamory, and trans characters. They could have easily put a straight, fair-skinned couple at the center of this and it would have been roughly the same story. That makes me love it all the more because this can show other writers, directors, and companies that it is possible to make amazing stories with these kinds of characters in it.

All in all I have no complaints about this series. No complaints about the story, the characters, the representation, nothing I loved every second of it.

—————————Official Spoiler Warning In Effect————————————

Keep reading

I recently found out someone I want to sleep with is in an open relationship. I've never considered sleeping with someone in an open relationship. Do you have any advice? She and I are very similar and I'd like to be her friend. I just never really gave it much thought as I've been single for a while. I'm kind of confused on how I feel about it.

I’m sorry it took me so long to answer I wasn’t notified I had an ask.

First thing I suggest is a little self reflection and try to figure out what it is you want out of this. Are you looking for a one time thin? Are you looking for something casual? Would you want this to possibly become a romantic relationship?

When you have that figured out just talk to the person of your interest. It may be awkward but I always feel like getting it out there and having that conversation is what is going to be the most helpful in the long run.

For instance if you just want to sleep with this person outright say something that lets them know your feelings but also lets them know the ball is in their court.

For example: “Hey I am aware that you are in an open relationship and I wanted to put it out there that I do have an interest in you. I’m curious if that’s something you’d like to explore”

To the point, tells them exactly how you feel without being too out there, and also let’s them know they have the power to accept or decline. It is also said in a way that is open ended in the sense that you are not outright asking for sex. From there they can explain what they may be looking for. Just because someone is in an open relationship does not necessarily mean they are down for hooking up or casual sex.

I hope this helps!

love-always-adelaide

I created something! If you want to repost somewhere else, please ask my permission first! (Remember to also credit me as the original creator and to link back to the source!)

(Image descriptions would be appreciated!)

Enjoy!

Also if blogs like @posi-pan would share this, it would mean a great deal to me!

posi-pan

this is probably the most accurate, detailed infographic about pan that i’ve seen in a long time.

i’ve written out the text that’s in the images below

myheartis-burning

pride-icons-for-all-the-queers

LGBTea ✌️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

genderqueerpositivity

(Image description: ten polyamory pride flags created with stock images in shades of blue, red, and black with a yellow infinity heart symbol in the center.)

posi-pan

FACTS ABOUT PANSEXUALITY: Pansexuality is attraction to people of all genders. Or more specifically, attraction that is not determined by gender. Pan is not defined by attraction to transgender people or in opposition to bisexuality.

Pansexual caught on as a direct response to transphobia in the bi community. The narrative in the bi community has since changed, but that doesn’t negate pan’s history and importance. Claiming it’s harmful or unnecessary is ahistorical and erasure of the lived experiences of many people in the community.

Pansexual is not a new identity, nor was it created on Tumblr. There is documentation of pansexual being used as a sexual orientation dating back at least 50 years.

There is in fact a difference between pan and bi people, beyond what they call themselves. A study was done to determine the differences in pan and bi people and showed that “pan people are, on average, quantifiably different from bi people”.

welcome-to-the-petting-zoo

Jokes aside, communication is so important in all relationships. I think a lot of the time it becomes obvious in polyamory, and the relationships are all the better for it. Because of forced communication.

In monogamous relationships so many things are taken for granted. It's just assumed that both parties agree what cheating entails, and a lot of people have double standards that never get addressed. It's assumed that people know what it means to be partners, and if your needs fall outside the norm, you're liable to get hurt, because there's never that perfect moment to talk about it.

Ofc unhealthy polyamorous relationships exist, even for similar reasons, but there's something about opening up a relationship and having other loves, that forces communication.

What is cheating now? Are there rules? Better make them explicit, and if they're explicit it becomes obvious quickly if they're unfair.

Now we're changing our status from metamours to partners, what does that mean? Does it change anything or is it a label change?

All these situations are not what we've been spoonfed throughout our life, and we are forced to stop and actually examine what feels right.

The greatest thing about having a crush on someone who is polyamorous is that when they start a new relationship, you can be excited for them without having that nagging feeling that your chances with them have been diminished and/or would require them to break up for your feelings to be reciprocated. (I'm talking more generally, not about your new relationship specifically. You are, after all, my Tumblr crush, not my real life crush 😊🥰😉.)

Oh My God thank you that is so flattering! And yes I can definitely agree with that statement. I love that I feel compersion because instead of getting an overwhelming jealous feeling I can feel happy for them!

I will admit that if I don’t know if they are poly or if I know for sure they are mono I can start to feel a little jealousy. It is a weird kind of jealousy just because even though I am happy they are happy I at the same time wish I could be involved. I guess in a way it’s not jealousy like something was taken away from me. But more like the longing you can have for someone when you don’t think you have a chance with them. If that makes sense.

griffinmcelroyspisskink-remade

i wonder how many “hey guys are super hot no homo tho hahaha” type guys would identify as bisexual if male bisexuality was talked about more often and not like… ignored and forgotten about

mythicalcoolkid

I had a strongly Christian underclassman tell me that he and his girlfriend would both be a bit into boys and girls, respectively, if it was more accepted. He nervously described himself as bicurious when he spoke to me, an openly bi guy. I was thinking out loud and mentioned that I thought that being bicurious… wasn’t necessarily a thing, for lack of a better phrase, because if someone was attracted to the same gender, even if they’re attracted more to another one, they’re still bi. He kind of looked surprised and said, “oh. I guess I’m bi then.”

Let men and boys be bi. Encourage men and boys to explore their sexualities. Don’t tell them off for being affectionate, whether platonically or not, and don’t insist that they’re gay.

itsybitsyjoltik

cozza-frenzy

The entire Queer community needs to pay attention to this, because I’m sick of overhearing people saying that bisexual and pansexual men can be “turned gay” by the right man or are more likely to cheat because they’re “secretly gay/straight”. The B in LGBT doesn’t stand for bacon, fuckos. It’s a legit orientation and is way more common than you might think.

How this all went down.

Ok so this is a bit of a long story so take a seat!

I met this guy when I started my current job and he was one of my supervisors. Keep in mind I have a very strict NO COWORKERS rule when it comes to getting involved with someone. Also I get crushes on just about everyone but they usually go away after about a month or so, at the most. Well this wasn’t the case for this one.

I didn’t develop this attraction right away it wasn’t till a few months in that I noticed I was starting to feel some feels. I started this job about mid-October and I think I started gettin the feels around late January or so. I didn’t start to accept that until around February.

Now we had a great friend connection. We would go back and forth with banter at work and it just made even the worst nights fun. So I spent the next few months just kind of dealing with it. First trying to REALLY push it down, then eventually just accepting it and trying to move on and be happy with the amazing friendship that was there. Because it was definitely one of those deals where he’s an amazing friend and I never wanted to risk that so I just let it be. As well as him being my coworker/supervisor, so of course that was a no.

But then he left the job in July and, ya know it was bittersweet. Because I didn’t think I was going to be able to see him as much, if ever, I thought at the time. But also there was that little piece in my mind that thought “Ok but now you don’t work together and something could go forward”. But nothing happened so I thought ok maybe he’s just not interested and I left it at that.

But then things kept happening where we were spending more and more time together and it was nice because yeah I thought he wasn’t interested and I accepted that. But then the Renaissance Faire happened this last weekend.

So I need to so I need to say that I am a lovey cuddly drunk. When I get drunk I will latch onto whoever will let me and I’m not letting go. Well I got very drunk at RenFest, like ya do. And he was there and even though I told myself a million times it was never happening I still latched, and I latched hard. But, at least from what I can remember, he never was trying to be dismissive or trying to move on from me so I just didn’t think about it.

Well cue to last night when he asked me if I wanted to come over and hang out. I went thinking it was just going to be our normal hangout like we’d been doing. Well that wasn’t it, like at all. He basically went on to ask if I remembered anything from Renfest. Now I’m trying to play it cool like nah man not really like bits and pieces, which wasn’t a lie, but not everything. From there he mentioned that I was getting kind of flirty, and so I start panicking on the inside. Like holy shit I went to far he’s going to think I’m a creep he’s never going to want to see me again. So of course I’m trying to do damage control like dude I’m sorry I get super touchy and flirty when I’m drunk that’s my bad I’m so sorry if it went too far I understand if I went too far I am so so so sorry.

------------ I feel like I need to explain here when I say I get touchy and flirty when I’m drunk I don’t me I get assaulty. Like unless I know how comfortable someone is with the physical I only get a little huggy and I may lean on you. I am always hyper aware of how people are with their boundaries and I never want to cross them. That’s part of the reason I was freaking so bad because I didn’t think I had gone very far at all and the last think I wanted was for him to be uncomfortable. Like I never kiss anyone or sit on their laps unless I KNOW they are ok with it.

From there he started to explain that I was good and had no reason to be sorry about anything. He was nervous so he was babbling, which btw was really cute. But he eventually got to the point of asking if I had any feelings towards him at all. And of course that made me nervous because I didn’t want to lose him as a friend but I firmly believe you need to be super honest about these things because. 1. Honesty in these situations is genuinely the best policy. 2. If there was a small chance he felt the same I didn’t want to risk missing out on that opportunity.

So I told him that I did have feelings of course with the dude I understand if you don’t reciprocate and I even understand if you never want to see me again. To which he explained that was NOT the case at all. And he actually did have feelings for me for awhile, not as long as me for him but awhile, and that he was down to try this out.

From there we had a great night of just talking about where we wanted to go from there and how there is just this weight off of both of our shoulders and overall it was a great night and it was so hard to go home because neither of us wanted to leave. The NRE is hitting me like a fucking freight train and I am here for it! I am so excited to see where this goes!

tldr: I started catching feelings for a coworker about a year ago but I don’t get involved with coworkers. As of a month and a half ago he wasn’t my coworker anymore but I thought he wasn’t interested. We both got drunk at the Ren Faire and sort of had to confront our feelings. Last night we both admitted we had feelings for each other now we’re feeling things out toward a possible relationship.

I know in my last post I mentioned I only had 1 partner but HOLY FREAKING HELL tonight just changed that! It isn't official but I am super close to having another by my side! I've been crushing on this person for almost a year and apparently he started feeling the same a bit ago and we finally confronted each other on it and AAAAAAAHHHHH. Oh my God guys I'm just so giddy right now! If y'all want to hear the whole story let me know!

1, 3, 11, 25

1: Is your polyamory by lifestyle choice or part of your queer identity

I would have to say by lifestyle choice. I am queer and I am Polyam but I do not consider them the same thing. They are two different parts of my life. It is kind of how, in my personal opinion, just because someone is Nonmono in anyway doesn’t automatically make them a part of the queer community. I know plenty of Nonmono people who identify as straight and I wouldn’t consider them part of the community other than as Allies.

3: How many partners do you have?

As of right now I have one solid partner. I do have a few people where whenever we meet up we usually end up doing the do but I don’t have any consistent regular partners other than my Husband.

11: How many of your partners are irl and how many are online?

I am very happy to say that my Husband is IRL. I have known people that have done relationships and even marriages long distance and I give them so many kudos for it. I honestly don’t think I would be able to do a long distance relationship, I am a very face to face person and I like to do things physically together. Whether that’s just eating pizza and watching movies at home or going on hikes outside or out to dinner and a movie.

25: 25. How many people are you out to/who are they?

I am out to my Husband of course. All of my friends, co-workers, and even most of my family. I am lucky to work at a job where my relationship style doesn’t matter and I have a lot of very open minded friends. I accidentally came out to my family and while they don’t understand it and don’t agree with it they don’t give me a lot of hate because they honestly think we’ll grow out of it. Now I know when I even get another partner I know that will change but that’s a fight for a later date.

Being Polyam is not really something I ever felt I needed to hide. We only hid it from our families because we do still rely on them slightly financially and couldn’t risk being disowned. When it came to my friends and other people I meet it sort of works the same as my Pansexuality, I’m not going to scream about it from the roof tops but I won’t hide it either. If someone asks about it or it comes up in conversation I am more than happy to talk about it

polyamorouspunk

Polyam Ask Game

Decided to make an ask game for my fellow polyamorous peeps out there! If I think of any more fun questions I’ll make a part 2!

1. Is your polyamory by lifestyle choice or part of your queer identity

2. Do you prefer to be in a closed triad only or do you like to be in many different relationships?

3. How many partners do you have?

4. How many metamours do you have?

5. Do you like the polyam flag?

6. Do you use the polyam flag and/or symbols?

7. Have you ever been to pride?

8. Have you ever been to pride with your polycule?

9. How did you learn about polyamory?

10. Do you have relationship hierarchies?

11. How many of your partners are irl and how many are online?

12. Do you live with any of your partners?

13. Are you married to any of your partners?

14. Do you use code-names (like animals, letters, etc.) to talk about your partners on Tumblr?

15. What would your ideal polycule look like?

16. What would your ideal living situation for your polycule look like?

17. What’s something that looking back on now you realize makes so much more sense in the context of you knowing you’re polyamorous?

18. What’s a positive polyam/monogamous experience you’ve had?

19. What’s a negative polyam/monogamous experience you’ve had?

20. Any memorial instances of toxic monogamy?

21. If you could turn any love triangle into a triad, which would you pick?

22. Any polyamorous media you’d recommend?

23. How do you think raising kids/owning pets in your polycule would go?

24. What are you and your partner’s star signs?

25. How many people are you out to/who are they?

26. How are decisions in your polycule made based on what everyone likes in terms of dates, dinners, etc.?

27. What’s the funniest argument/debate your polycule has had?

28. How important is your identity to you? Do you have any other LGBT+ or other identities? Do they influence your polyamory?

29. What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about polyamory? What are your least favorite misconceptions?

30. What advice would you give to someone trying out non-monogamy, someone who’s just discovered themselves as polyamorous, someone who’s monogamous and wanting to better learn what the polyamory experience is like, etc.

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