i’m just goofin’

new boot goofin’. 30y.o. She/her.

[weirdmageddon]

spiders ?

[junewild]

incredible innovations on the beverage front

[blueapplesiren]

I wonder how aliens will react to our communal grooming instinct? Like when you see something stuck to your homie’s clothes/skin/hair and it’s driving you nuts and you just gotta be like “hold still, lemme get that for you real quick.”

One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, “would it hurt him if I pulled that off?” And the teacher said, “yes it actually could, it’s probably still attached to living skin if it hasn’t come off yet” and I was like “oh, sorry,” and he said, “that’s okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.” And damn, that’s such an accurate descriptor.

Anyways I hope aliens don’t mind me/my descendants having the urge to pluck stuff off of them. If they ask, we’ll have to tell them it’s a trait we evolved to survive ticks.

[orteil42]

what could possibly be in there

[orteil42]

[memes-hoarder]

[notahorseindisguise]

everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet

[ponchonumber5]

At what point will my phone just make a shortcut to a Google search for “Nightcrawler X-men” and put it on my home screen for me

[nerunodaisuki]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

THE FRENCH FUJOSHI: and you will put ze tips of your penise togezher, oui? and you will insert yourself into 'iz boyhole, oui?

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[brucespringsteencomments]

[scribeherself]

having a best friend who meets your level of freak is unmatched. you present them with the most unhinged, deeply buried thought from the depths of your psyche and instead of blinking blankly they just go "oh absolutely"—and I think that mutual brain rot like that is the highest form of intimacy actually.

[ponchonumber5]

Did I say a bunch of weird stuff at the after work event? Yes. But. Uhh

[shouldntbeaskingmyselfwhy]

i love intentionally ordered playlists i love albums with strong openers and closers and those told in two clear acts and albums with songs that flow into each other so you have to listen to them together i love interludes i love having an Experience with a whole body of work

[sailermoon]

be careful with what series you watch/read during emotional points in your life because they will forever contain a ghost of your past self within it now

[sailermoon]

[dogpuppy]

[swordseer]

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[uptownthots]

what is a normal amount of photos to have on your phone. probably 28,000 right

[uptownthots]

DONT SAY THAAAAAAAAT

[sanrio-stud]

how many pics & videos do you have on your phone?

0-500

501-1,000

1,001-5,000

5,001-10,000

10,001-15,000

15,001-20,000

20,001-25,000

25,001-30,000

30,001-40,000

40,001-50,000

50,001-60,000

> 60,000

Remaining time: 4 days 2 hours