For a second, I though youâd do something to surprise me on a day that is supposed to be special for us, I forgot you are not me and youâd never do anything for me because you donât care.
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@pop-heart
For a second, I though youâd do something to surprise me on a day that is supposed to be special for us, I forgot you are not me and youâd never do anything for me because you donât care.
Believe me, I really understand why loving me will never be an option
I could never love myself either
âWas I raised without love or was I born unlovable?â
picking up my phone every 5 minutes like someone wants to talk to me
i wish i wasnât so disposable
In another universe I was happy
Everything feels like rejection and it makes me sick
Self harm doesnât always happen when a blade touches skin.
Itâs skipping meals because you donât feel like you deserve to eat today. Itâs drinking recklessly because you might have the âcourageâ do something stupid. Itâs smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know itâs bad for you. Itâs banging your head against a wall when youâre angry. Itâs crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. Itâs thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. Itâs not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. Itâs taking painkillers in excess because you know itâs dangerous. Itâs walking home the more dangerous way because youâre kind of half hoping youâll get attacked or raped or stabbed. Itâs going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you canât find your way back. Itâs seeking out triggering material. Itâs all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.
Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you donât put any effort into doing the things you like or need.
Itâs a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesnât only happen in one way.
This sort of behavior is classified as âpara-suicidalâ Itâs putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.
I feel like I was set up from the moment I was born. I was made to fail. I have nothing. Nothing good about me. No brains and not good looking and incredibly bad luck. I hate myself. Everything about me is worthless. I am worthless.
i have been many things yet none of them have been right
I donât want to be part in my own life anymore. I understand why nobody wants to stay in my lifeâŠ
Whereâs the âlog outâ button in real life? Iâm so sick of myself.
Do you ever feel like this reality is just not made for you.
If you have me in your life, Iâm really really sorry.
being suicidal and living for others is the most drowning feeling ever.
why canât i find a reason to live for myself?