literally what does this mean iâm screaming
WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY OATMEAL
noise dept.
wallacepolsom

#extradirty
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@postlimlt
literally what does this mean iâm screaming
WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY OATMEAL
Some of my PokĂŠmon hot takes
Y'all ever think about how there are just a whole bunch of sets of stairs in the middle of forests that lead nowhere
i am not a religious personâŚâŚ.. but if youâre out there, giant rat that makes all of the rules,
âKill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.â Is such a metal quote. But itâs from fucking. Warrior Cats.
âThe only true borders lie between day and night, between life and death, between hope and loss.â - these cats dealt with heavy shit man
i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii
âWeep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates menâs behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!âÂ
âAmplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.âÂ
âWe two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.â
âFloronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.â
âOn April 19th, I made bread.â
â I have buggered men.â
âIf anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.â
âIt took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.â
âChie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!â
âEpaphra is not good at ball games.â
âTwo friends were here. Â While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. Â They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.â
âSecundus likes to screw boys.â
Iâve always loved these. Humanity has never fucking changed.
the guy who wrote âif anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my gfâ drank XTREME respect women juice
I stan a bisexual clapback
Stormy Daniels is tired of this shit and sheâs living her best life.
He can walk his pretty ass right in my room
Boys will be boys
Bro are you getting a boner
what the fuck is that supposed to mean
ohhh i DEEPLY regret teaching my cat how to talk
Oh? Would you elaborate?
okay so one night like a week or two ago kurt was meowing at me and one of the meows sounded like he was saying âhewwoâ so since then I started saying âhewwoâ instead of meowing back at him (like I do with all his cat sounds, naturally) and slowly his meows evolved into something vaguely âhewwoâlike with the one or two True and Powerful Hewwoâs a day
but now that you have backstory I was just standing in my kitchen making rice, everythings dead silent, and suddenly this fucking âHEWWO??â echoes through the whole apartment and it almost killed me
I actually got in huge trouble with my fianceâs sister for that. One night, I heard Fish meowing and it kinda sounded like she was saying âhelloâ so I decided to encourage it. If no one was going to try to get the cat to stop screaming at 3am, I wanted to try to get her to scream words so everyone would be as disturbed about it as I was. For the better part of three years, I used treats to reward her whenever she âspokeâ while not letting anyone else know I was trying to teach her stuff.
One day, my fianceâs sister goes to give Fish a treat and the cat whiffs it. Misses the treat completely and it bounces under the fridge, so sheâs trying to stick her paw under to get it back.
âOh no, Fish. You lost your snack!â
âI know I know.â
Instant chaos. It wasnât even Fishâs best words. If she had only said it once, maybe no would have noticed, but the repetition got attention and everyone just lost it. I made the mistake of praising Fish and suddenly I have the sister turn on me. âAre you why she says âoh noâ all the time?â Apparently Fish rarely âmeowsâ properly anymore and will say âOh noâ whenever sheâs mildly inconvenienced and wants a human to fix it for her.
Every person who likes and reblogs this post will be enrolled in witness protection
Go watch me make a fool of myself on camera in the name of đłď¸âđPrideâ˘ď¸
When youâre on your way home from the club but one of you almost died
The four you the next week