"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
if i look back, i am lost
No title available
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Kaledo Art
Claire Keane
Discoholic 🪩
untitled
YOU ARE THE REASON
No title available
Product Placement
art blog(derogatory)
Cosmic Funnies
titsay
we're not kids anymore.
shark vs the universe
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Andulka
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Austria
seen from Germany
seen from Pakistan
seen from Vietnam
seen from South Africa
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@posts-i-saw-on-reddit
Abolish Tesla.
Elon uses his overvalued Tesla stock as collateral for all his loans.
If the stock price crashes, banks will ask for their money back.
The Twitter deal alone would break him - twitter has tanked in value, he couldn't sell it to pay off his loans.
Please, oh please. Not just well deserved karma, it would be so fucking funny.
well, well, well ^_^
January 27 ($397.15) to February 26 ($290.80)
✨Like to charge and reblog to cast✨
gimmick accounts are so fundamental to The Tumblr Experience
when i first got on i was like "why r there so many gimmink reblogs?? they're so random and annoying"
but now i see the light of day and theres a fishgiver! and a girl detector! and an alphabet counter! and a you-did-your-best-er! and Elvis Presly in a bunch of different flavors!
amd you're all goofing and gaffing and i want you to know that every time i see you my Whimsy O' Meter refills like a video game health bar
i larb you gimmick blogs <3
ayyyy I'm here too
you can differentiate me from weevilwizard via subtle variations in our proboscis
We also have different color hats. Mine is a much more tasteful jet black, while yours is pitch-black.
ive gotta stop accidentally summoning gimmick blogs into existence
I know how you feel hummina hummina hummina. I can't say anything here without a new Elvis. Why are there so many Elvii. Why
you’re the only one who understands me elvis
I saw this post on reddit
i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf
I saw this post on reddit twice
@thrice-the-nobling you are there too
When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M
He said “Son (M7) when you grow up (F33) would you be — wait what”
I (M28) saw this post on reddit (A9)
I keep seeing these so here we go
10k notes before may ends and I'll come out to my friends as bisexual no limit (yes it's unrealistic on purpose I'm a coward) I'll tag a few: @deadskincellsonyourpillow @system-of-cats @sillyness-incarnate
Go my mutuals
@kwacpe @sepiaorchards @atheenee
I shall answer the call:
@ghastlysparkz @conjurer-of-worms @hollowedcathedral @frankiefridayyy @bookmothic-dyke @corvid-king @spaghettihell @santhewitch @mortallyjollybear @crazy-wizard-51 @bigtailedkobold @brizleebear @fattocatto-wizard @cherasmusthewizard @aquarieddie @bowman-42 @cattheslimey
The beacons are lit! A bi-person calls for aid!
@quixoticprince @oharas-demon @everythingfox @everynicorobin @esperata @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @lotrreactionmemes @weenie-kun @brattylikestoeat @bi-trans-alliance @bisexualsabo @narramin @kitty @thotsandpreyers @treespen @gay-irl @melonteee @caseyd1a @pai-showdown @sleepyrainart @iamotakugirl
And once more, the summoning will be attempted... @walmart-the-official
1 DAY AND 3000 MORE NOTES, WE CAN DO IT, C'MON, ONE LAST PUSH!
@fuck-you-ominous-threats
@the-real-list-of-ominous-threats
@backup-ominous-threats
@the-fake-list-of-ominous-threats
@the-list-of-real-ominous-threats
@list-of-lists-of-ominous-threats
@twelfth-list-of-ominous-threats
@another-list-of-ominous-threats
@love-you-ominous-threats
@this-threat-is-ominous
@i-identify-as-an-ominous-threat
@nominous-threats
@autotheist-of-ominous-threats
@ominous-signs
@silly-signs
@hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard
@gimmick-thief
@gimmick-thief-thief
@bad-gimmick-thief
@gimmick-thief-thief-thief-thief
@gimmick-thief-theif-thcief
@gimmickthiefthiefthiefthiefthief
@gimmick-remover
@gimmick-thief-burglar
@fish-identifier
@cat-identifier
@identifying-cars-in-posts
@identifying-horses-in-posts
@identifying-planes-in-posts
@poorly-identifying-cats-in-posts
@identifying-cat-phenotypes
@identifying-cats
@identifying-cellphones-in-posts
@identifying-bees-in-posts
@identifying-guns-in-posts
@identifying-guitars-in-posts
@identifying-gulls-in-posts
@identifying-fonts-in-images
@identifying-the-unseen-in-posts
@dragons-locator
@creatures-in-posts
@certified-piss-posts
@mammalidentifier
@identifying-spacecraft-in-posts
@dog-spotted
@cat-spotted
@i-identify-guns-in-posts
@identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts
@identifying-birds
@identifying-maille-weaves
@identifying-typewriters-in-posts
@mouse-spotted
@snake-spotted
@certified-new-york-posts
@chicago-mentioned
@identifying-snakes-in-posts
@which-os
@identifyinggimmickblogsinposts
@fox-detector
@bear-detector
@detector-detector
@loss-detector
@girl-detector
@orca-detector
@carbon-monoxide-detector
@south-carolina-detector
@corviddetector
@goose-detector
@crab-detector
@gay-detector
@opossum-detector
@bell-detector
@columbiforme-detector
@corvid-detector
@axolotl-detector
@snow-leopard-detector
@bat-detector
@salmon-detector
@detector-detector
@mouse-detector
@cat-detector
@trans-detector
@egg-detector
@shark-detector
@bug-detector
@dino-detector
@crowdetector
@fish-detector
@skid-fit-detector
@therickrolldetector
@crane-detector
@lizard-detector
@i-detect-rickrolls
@pigeon-detector
@bronzong-detector
@text-inverter-detector
@tsunderedetector
@british-alert
@eroticismofthemachinedetector
@pointless-achievements
@achievement-unlocked
@randomitemdrop
@dailyquests
@achievement-achievement-unlocked
@official-boob-posts
@official-penis-posts
@bees-official
@knifedealler-official
@teamrocket-official
@youareanidiot-official
@anti-terf-posts
@ofishal-fish-posts
@medici-official
@official-cannibalism-posts
@official-linguistics-post
@official-crab-posts
@official-nature-posts
@officialgrassrating
@official-level-five
@official-olm-posts
@the-equator-official
@milk-the-official
@official-jurassic-park
@french-horn-official
@cute-aggression-official
@deja-vu-official
@official-official-post-posts
The first rule of cable management is "out of sight, out of mind"
The second rule of cable management is that all true art is provocative. If zero people want to kill you over it, it's not good art.
I saw this post on reddit
shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply
"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post
"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior
"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares
"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.
"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all
".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity
this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.
anyway more addittions
“30-50 feral hogs” for someone using Very Specific Scenarios to justify holding back larger policy changes
“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.
“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum
“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh
“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird
“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.
“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.
“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.
“people irl: hey man hows it going” for this will Never Matter irl
I saw this post on reddit
My evil dungeon used to be infested with rats. Then I started imprisoning catboys... Sure, that solved the rat problem—but now the catboy population is out of control, and demanding great quantities of raw meat. My solution? Dogboys. I go to the library and look up books on dog-human transmutation. One of the librarians stops me. “Aren’t you that pervert wizard with the creepy catboy sex dungeon?” I don’t know how to answer that. The other librarians notice my stacks of books on canine gene-splicing, and start hitting me with old Martha Stewart Living magazines. “Get out of here,” they say. “Don’t you go trying to steal anyone’s dog for your catboy/dogboy dungeon!” I hadn’t even considered that. In the middle of the night I sneak to the librarian’s house and try to steal his dog, but I’m way too big to fit through the mail slot in the front door, so I end up just standing around for a while looking like a real goober. My solution to this problem? I return the following night with a ratboy—
I saw this post on redditboy
my grandma is as old as you (long story, weird family tree) but i feel closer to you so congrats your my new grandpa!
Woah mama I *am* your grandpa 6;)
I banged your grandma
I saw this post on reddit
so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife. then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
Okay but now I have to know
What was the truth??
Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”
It can’t
Because that would not need a lie
I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure
I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on
Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged
okay so i do this thing that i call tummy tacos where i put all the ingredients to a taco in front of me, but like, separate. and then i take big bites of all of them. but just one at a time. like one big mouthful of taco chicken and then swallow and then a separate big mouthful of chopped cabbage and then swallow and then a corn tortilla and you get the idea.
(my wife considers it Barbaric. she does not approve of tummy tacos.)
but yesterday i had this idea for stomach pico de gallo there i was gonna eat an onion and then a tomato and then a jalapeno and then some cilantro. thud achieving salsa internally. but i underestimated the call of the onion. i really could give a damn about everything else after the onion. i felt the love of jesus in that onion.
and thus i fell into folly.
Babs, were you going to just rawdog a jalapeno?
no i was planning on just eating it
@charyou-tree
picky eaters fear the eaty picker.
so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife. then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
Okay but now I have to know
What was the truth??
Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”
It can’t
Because that would not need a lie
I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure
I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on
Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged
okay so i do this thing that i call tummy tacos where i put all the ingredients to a taco in front of me, but like, separate. and then i take big bites of all of them. but just one at a time. like one big mouthful of taco chicken and then swallow and then a separate big mouthful of chopped cabbage and then swallow and then a corn tortilla and you get the idea.
(my wife considers it Barbaric. she does not approve of tummy tacos.)
but yesterday i had this idea for stomach pico de gallo there i was gonna eat an onion and then a tomato and then a jalapeno and then some cilantro. thud achieving salsa internally. but i underestimated the call of the onion. i really could give a damn about everything else after the onion. i felt the love of jesus in that onion.
and thus i fell into folly.
Babs, were you going to just rawdog a jalapeno?
no i was planning on eating it
so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife. then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
Okay but now I have to know
What was the truth??
Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”
It can’t
Because that would not need a lie
I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure
I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on
Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged
okay so i do this thing that i call tummy tacos where i put all the ingredients to a taco in front of me, but like, separate. and then i take big bites of all of them. but just one at a time. like one big mouthful of taco chicken and then swallow and then a separate big mouthful of chopped cabbage and then swallow and then a corn tortilla and you get the idea.
(my wife considers it Barbaric. she does not approve of tummy tacos.)
but yesterday i had this idea for stomach pico de gallo there i was gonna eat an onion and then a tomato and then a jalapeno and then some cilantro. thud achieving salsa internally. but i underestimated the call of the onion. i really could give a damn about everything else after the onion. i felt the love of jesus in that onion.
and thus i fell into folly.
Babs, were you going to just rawdog a jalapeno?
so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife. then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
Okay but now I have to know
What was the truth??
Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”
It can’t
Because that would not need a lie
I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure
I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on
Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged
okay so i do this thing that i call tummy tacos where i put all the ingredients to a taco in front of me, but like, separate. and then i take big bites of all of them. but just one at a time. like one big mouthful of taco chicken and then swallow and then a separate big mouthful of chopped cabbage and then swallow and then a corn tortilla and you get the idea.
(my wife considers it Barbaric. she does not approve of tummy tacos.)
but yesterday i had this idea for stomach pico de gallo there i was gonna eat an onion and then a tomato and then a jalapeno and then some cilantro. thud achieving salsa internally. but i underestimated the call of the onion. i really could give a damn about everything else after the onion. i felt the love of jesus in that onion.
and thus i fell into folly.
so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, beforeshe said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife. then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
Okay but now I have to know
What was the truth??
Because it simply cannot be as obvious as “what, I like onions”
It can’t
Because that would not need a lie
I know people who eat onions like apples simply for pleasure
I don’t understand them, but they say “what, I like onions”, and we both shrug, and they carry on
Also. Was. Was the plan to eat the whole thing? Just no more half red onion? Because the alternative form of “getting away with it” was you were planning to put it back with a bite taken out of it before she came in and that is if anything more unhinged
so. my wife came downstairs just as i took a bite out of the remaining half red onion on the counter. literally within seconds of just getting away with it. i looked at her, and she looked at me, and we both sat there a moment, all frozen, before she said babs, what the fuck. i tried to say i can explain but it came out as or corn explorn because such was the onion in my mouth that there was no room for words. its honestly a miracle that she understood me at all. at least, i'm assuming that she understood me because she did let me get my bearings for a few moments. a smarter man would've used that time to think up a good lie, but instead i just chewed as fast as i could because i knew i was gonna have to tell a whopper and i really wanted to be able to use big words again.
big words are instrumental to telling a whopper.
anyway, i totally ran out of time. i barely got my first swallow of onion in before she said well?, and i did at least have an empty mouth to match my empty head. but also i had no lies. so i looked her dead in the face, opened my mouth and waited, every bit as curious as her, to hear what excuse my mouth was gonna come up with.
im pregnant, said my mouth.
great job, mouth, said my brain.
mmmmm onion, said my mouth.
better you than me, said my wife.
then she went upstairs. it has been two hours she still refuses to kiss me. im devastated. im shook. im crying a little, i think.
(but that might just be the onion.)
these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook
ugh. just found out my neighbor named all her 16 kids after mine. ok now everyone line up
I saw that post on reddit
