Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.
Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.
Humanizing: Hey, I’m sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didn’t mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.
only the good mentally ill people who are able to follow the Approved Apology Script are worth forgiving
Taking this out of the tags because I had more to say than I thought.
People do not fucking know what the word "pathologize" means.
THIS, is the definition of "pathologize":
There are definitely certain things that are unfairly pathologized. That's why the neurodiversity movement got so much traction. But "acknowledging that you personally have a mental health problem that causes certain symptoms or behavioral issues" is NOT pathologization, especially not in regards to it being triggered in a specific situation.
I do think the second example is good for communicating with people who like... aren't mentally ill, or aren't knowledgeable about your specific disorder(s). Someone who has no idea what RSD is would likely just be confused if you brought that up as an explanation. In which case, explaining it to them in a more straightforward manner-- with or without specifically saying "rejection sensitivity dysphoria"-- might be more effective for communication.
Conversely, saying "sorry, my RSD got triggered there" is a lot quicker to say, and it might even feel less vulnerable and therefore easier to say. I have a lot easier of a time saying "sorry for lashing out, PTSD trigger" as opposed to saying "sorry for lashing out, see I was horrifically abused as a child so you raising your voice at me made me think about my mom". That tends to just lead to awkward situations methinks. Or to use a more similar example, I'm just going to say "sorry, having an autism meltdown" and not go into this long-winded explanation about how loud noises make me want to fucking rip my own ears off and tip-toe around saying the words "autism" or "sensory overload".
I also think it's weird to act like... using medical terms and humanization are mutually exclusive? I do think there's an issue with some people being too quick to pathologize themselves. People having a one-off anxiety attack and immediately jumping to thinking they have an anxiety disorder, for example. But a mentally ill person using the words afforded to them by their actual diagnosis is not that. And I don't see ANY benefit in trying to shift towards more "human" language when for a lot of people, having an actual word to put to their experience or behaviors makes communicating their issues and finding support a lot easier. It's a lot more human-- a lot less humiliating-- to be able to just tell people you have PTSD or RSD and having a solid chance of them understanding, as opposed to having to try to explain from scratch what you're feeling and why, when that can often be difficult and even painful to properly articulate.
Long-winded rant aside, the "that behavior's on me" part is good. It's something I've had to tell people a lot whenever I get extremely triggered or irritable. It's usually not their fault, and it'll pass. And part of telling them it's not their fault usually involves explaining the fact that I have mental disorders that cause me to lash out, not tip-toeing around the subject because it doesn't sound "human" enough or whatever.















