Former Special Ed Kid Syndrome is just called PTSD

[sandersstudies]

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

[sandersstudies]

Pathologizing: Hey sorry I yelled at you. I have this ADHD symptom called RSD that makes me really sensitive.

Humanizing: Hey, I’m sorry that I blew up like that earlier. In the moment I felt really attacked and overwhelmed and I reacted badly, but I know you didn’t mean to offend me with what you said, so that behavior is on me.

[hyenaswine]

only the good mentally ill people who are able to follow the Approved Apology Script are worth forgiving

[shrimpmandan]

Taking this out of the tags because I had more to say than I thought.

People do not fucking know what the word "pathologize" means.

THIS, is the definition of "pathologize":

There are definitely certain things that are unfairly pathologized. That's why the neurodiversity movement got so much traction. But "acknowledging that you personally have a mental health problem that causes certain symptoms or behavioral issues" is NOT pathologization, especially not in regards to it being triggered in a specific situation.

I do think the second example is good for communicating with people who like... aren't mentally ill, or aren't knowledgeable about your specific disorder(s). Someone who has no idea what RSD is would likely just be confused if you brought that up as an explanation. In which case, explaining it to them in a more straightforward manner-- with or without specifically saying "rejection sensitivity dysphoria"-- might be more effective for communication.

Conversely, saying "sorry, my RSD got triggered there" is a lot quicker to say, and it might even feel less vulnerable and therefore easier to say. I have a lot easier of a time saying "sorry for lashing out, PTSD trigger" as opposed to saying "sorry for lashing out, see I was horrifically abused as a child so you raising your voice at me made me think about my mom". That tends to just lead to awkward situations methinks. Or to use a more similar example, I'm just going to say "sorry, having an autism meltdown" and not go into this long-winded explanation about how loud noises make me want to fucking rip my own ears off and tip-toe around saying the words "autism" or "sensory overload".

I also think it's weird to act like... using medical terms and humanization are mutually exclusive? I do think there's an issue with some people being too quick to pathologize themselves. People having a one-off anxiety attack and immediately jumping to thinking they have an anxiety disorder, for example. But a mentally ill person using the words afforded to them by their actual diagnosis is not that. And I don't see ANY benefit in trying to shift towards more "human" language when for a lot of people, having an actual word to put to their experience or behaviors makes communicating their issues and finding support a lot easier. It's a lot more human-- a lot less humiliating-- to be able to just tell people you have PTSD or RSD and having a solid chance of them understanding, as opposed to having to try to explain from scratch what you're feeling and why, when that can often be difficult and even painful to properly articulate.

Long-winded rant aside, the "that behavior's on me" part is good. It's something I've had to tell people a lot whenever I get extremely triggered or irritable. It's usually not their fault, and it'll pass. And part of telling them it's not their fault usually involves explaining the fact that I have mental disorders that cause me to lash out, not tip-toeing around the subject because it doesn't sound "human" enough or whatever.

[postspedstressdisorder]

I understand that the sped program was probably 500 times worse but I will always hate the gifted program, I had undiagnosed ADHD, and it was awful, for every time I got an average grade it was assumed I was slacking off and all it was was constant pressure from literally the age of five, and I will probably attribute at least some of my current depression to a chain reaction of stress from way back then. In other news, hot packs and biofreeze is my friend.

........okay? What exactly is your point? And why did you think this blog was the appropriate place for it?

I'm sorry that that was your experience but guess what? Us special ed kids were under constant pressure from age five, too.

Pressure to live up to made-up rules of "normal" behavior that no one explained to us. Pressure to avoid punishments like being suffocated or locked in closets by being perfectly silent, still, and obedient. Pressure to come as close to not existing as humanly possible.

And oh yeah, on top of all the intense behavior modification and random punishments for having the "wrong" facial expression, we were also under pressure to get good grades in spite of rarely receiving a real education.

Go find one of the million or so blogs on this site that cater to former gifted kids and air your grievances there, because this space is for those of us who grew up being subjected to things that people would go to jail for doing to animals.

[postspedstressdisorder]

hot take I guess but before they go renaming special education as "accessible/inclusive education" they should have to actually make it accessible and inclusive first

[clownrecess]

My AAC device is not a toy, it isnt here for you "try out".

It is my voice. Do not touch it without asking. Do not search through it's folders without asking.

It is not here for you to make it say weird things. It is not here for you to spam my message window with random words. It is not here for you to play with. It is not here for you to "try out".

It is my voice. It is not funny, or a toy.

Please stop treating it like one.

You have no right to grab it, to pull my hands away from it so you can make it say things I don't want it to say, or to slam your hands down onto buttons without warning.

Please stop.

[postspedstressdisorder]

I hope this isn't rude, but roughly how many followers do you have?

It doesn't have to be the exact number (something even like "oh theres about five of us" works!) I'm not asking to compare or whatever, it's more like... I found out I have PTSD from sped about a year ago. And I often find myself holding my tongue a bit about talking about this in-detail? Because it always feels like there aren't many people who are gonna relate or care, or even know what I'm talking about.

How many of us are here?

Funnily enough, I actually do have five followers lol.

But, there are a lot more of us than that. A lot of the practices used in special ed are known to cause PTSD. There are studies about it and everything. I just don't have many followers here because I only recently started this blog, I post here sporadically, and I go out of my way not to attract attention because people get really nasty when traumatized special ed survivors talk about our experiences.

There are a lot of us, we're just scattered and deliberately kept isolated from each other and bullied into silence by a society that thinks our voices and experiences matter.

You're not alone. There are more of us than anyone wants to admit.

[defectivegembrain]

I wonder how many disabled kids would be able to deal with mainstream school if the abled kids were taught to respect differences

[postspedstressdisorder]

former gifted kids: Being so universally liked by teachers and so good at making people see how smart I am was literally the worst experience any child could ever have because now I get sad when I'm not automatically good at things.

former special ed kids: Hey that's pretty insensitive considering we literally got tied to chairs and our hands taped to desks and ammonia thrown in our faces.

former gifted kids: omg stop being so divisive and denying my trauma and have you considered that maybe you had it easy because at least people knew there was something wrong with you? Also you're lying because all my teachers were nice to me so yours couldn't have been mean.

[librarymage]

I am once again asking the autistic community stop punching down on autistic people they’ve been taught to view as “stereotypes.”

I’m talking about nonspeaking autistics.  About autistic people who need full-time support.  About asexual and aromantic autistics.  Autistics who don’t want a lot of friends.  Unemployed autistics.  Autistics who were/are in special ed.  Intellectually disabled autistics.  Autistic adults who live with other family members.  Autistics whose meltdowns aren’t “subtle.”  Autistics who injure themselves.  Multiply disabled autistics.  Autistic shut-ins and agoraphobes.

We are all just as deserving of respect and dignity as former gifted kid autistics who still do everything they can to distance themselves from us even as they preach acceptance.

[anarchetypalarchive]

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

[postspedstressdisorder]

This is actually an incredibly fucked-up thing to do to a patient.

Hitting a patient with something (yes even something as harmless as a nerf dart) when they say something you don't like is some behaviorist punishment bullshit. Pulling a toy gun on a patient (yes even one as cartoonish as a nerf gun) is just bad and I really feel like I shouldn't have to explain why a fucking therapist should know better.

People need to stop glorifying behavior like this from therapists.

[postspedstressdisorder]

I'm gonna break down why I hate posts like this.

Calling anyone a burden is bad, even if you try to frame it positively (but especially if you frame it positively at first and then immediately switch to shitting on people you deem "burdens"). No human being is a burden, full stop.

The nasty bait and switch. "It's okay to be a burden...but also if you meet my definition of being a burden, you suck."

The sheer level of either cluelessness or willful lack of empathy it takes to think that being scared of asking for help is about "ego" and not about fear and trauma.

"If you exhibit this sign of trauma you're actually just egotistical and selfish" (implied subtext: you're just like your abusers) is always going to be a disgusting, shitty, victim blaming take.

Ask any disabled person and we will tell you we all know damn well that no matter how much a friend goes on about how it's okay to lean on them and come to them for help, there will always, always be a point where they decide you're too much. Your symptoms are too annoying or your health issues are too depressing or this or that or whatever, you will always end up being too much. It is not "ego" to carefully choose how and when to show that you're a human being with needs when you live your entire life painfully aware that most people will freeze you out the second you become too much.

And no, this kind of shit is not any less disgusting if the op is also disabled or if the op also has trauma. Lateral and internalized ableism exist and tbh a lot of traumatized people on this site are the biggest perpetrators of both.

[postspedstressdisorder]

I'm so tired of people complaining about people who apologize "too much."

It's not hurting anyone. It might kinda annoy you, but annoyance is not harm.

[upsetgazette]

Shout out to all the autistics & adhders who were not labeled "gifted" in school or ever called "a pleasure to have in class" but were perpetually the problem kid. The ones who were always yelled at & shamed, the ones who disrupted class, the ones who got detention, the ones who were bullied by their teachers just as much as their peers, and the ones who barely made it through school, or didn't at all because you didn't get the support you needed. I see you 💙

[defectivegembrain]

"all the teachers I've met have been really nice!"

tell me you weren't a special ed kid without telling me you weren't a special ed kid

[filmnoirsbian]

Something needs to be done about teachers who hate kids tbh

[filmnoirsbian]

My sister is currently getting her doctorate in child psychology & education, but years ago she worked as a substitute english teacher at a high school in nyc. She spent half a year subbing for a woman who was out for surgery, and had been teaching english there for years and years. Most of the kids in this class were remedial; they had failed english before and had to retake it. Most of them hated the class, and they hated literature, because they had been made to feel unintelligent. My sister decided to introduce them to poetry, which was a little easier to digest than long form prose, and had them read Robert Frost's "Fire and Ice." And the kids loved it! They connected with it, they were spirited and engaged in class for the first time all year. They wrote their own poetry! They started seeking out and reading poetry on their own! They were all on track to get a C, B or A in that class. And then the original teacher returned and failed every single student, to "teach them all a lesson". That was the moment my sister decided to go into administration so she could hopefully prevent that sort of thing from happening. But it's difficult. Despite numerous complaints from parents and other teachers, that teacher had a job there for decades. She continued to have a job there. There are a lot of teachers like her, wielding power and taking their frustrations out on kids, especially disabled and remedial kids. And students have so few advocates in the classroom.

[filmnoirsbian]

This post has turned into teachers complaining that this behavior is understandable because of burnout, low wages, etc and like. Ok then quit lmao. If you treat my kid like this because of "burnout" I'm gonna burn out your fucking teeth

[autismawesomeness]

Neurotypicals stop making fun of people for being in special ed challenge

[postspedstressdisorder]

Other disabled people also stop making fun of people for being in special ed challenge

[postspedstressdisorder]

people are always like "believe victims!" until the victim is a psychiatric and/or special ed survivor

[belzebong]

I wish kids traumatized by the special education system were as loud about it as the "gifted" kids claim we are