I heard we were talking about high!Ilya on painkillers today and I know it’s cheesy but I do think Mr. Big Husband Guy would absolutely be one of those dudes who looks at Shane after he comes out of a minor procedure and just. Loses his shit. Huuuuuge smile, cannot stop looking at Shane and calling him beautiful and nice and asking him questions in a very poor attempt at flirting. He thinks he’s being slick when he outright asks if Shane is married.
And Shane is like, “yeah, I’m married to you.”
This is the greatest news Ilya has ever heard. “What?” He asks, happy tears springing to his eyes. “Me?”
“Yeah.”
“For real?”
“Yeah, Ilya, of course. I love you; we’re married.”
“You love me?”
“Yeah,” Shane laughs. “A lot.”
“Wow. Wow.” Ilya is stunned. “I really married you?”
“Yeah look.” Shane takes his hand and shows him the wedding band on his finger before showing off his own. He presses a sweet, chaste kiss to Ilya’s mouth and the poor guy melts.
“Oh wow,” Ilya sighs. Then pauses. “Wait, come back here. We’re married, come—”
And that’s how Shane manages to find himself sloppily making out in Ilya’s tiny hospital bed, with Ilya murmuring wow every other kiss.
