Power Diary Entry 169 - Jan. 8th (but talking about Dec. 31st)
So, now that the air has been cleared about my cousin's fiance's death, I'd like to talk about my New Year's Eve. It was probably the one highlight of my Christmas break (sloppy highlight, but a highlight none the less).
As you know, I decided to stay on campus and avoid my mother's house and getting sucked into another destructive relationship with Raine. Staying on campus had it's perks and it's down falls. Being on campus unfortuntely meant being alone 90% of the time (outside of the random run in with a student who decided to get some fresh air the same time as you) and there was no food on campus. The perks were that you can pretty much do whatever you want. Seriously, almost anything.
I took a shower on morning and dropped my towel on the shower floor in the gross water that had risen around my feet from the drain's being clogged. It was soaked and I could not dry myself with it. So, I shaved my face in the middle of the bathroom naked until I was almost dry. Then I grabbed my dirty clothes held it over my crouch and walked bare ass to my dorm room. I could totally do that any other time, but I, Julian, would NEVER do that ANY other time. So, to me it was a carefree existence on the campus.
In the time between finding out that my cousin's fiance had died and New Year's Eve, I bumped into one other student who was staying on campus. She waved me down the minute see saw me.
"Hey, you drink?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said suscpicously.
"Good. I'm having a party in my dorm on New Year's Eve. You should come." She turned and walked away. "Dolan Room 203."
I was taken aback. This girl had no idea who I was. If I was a student, if I was a danger to her life, or if I had a name. All she knew was that I drank (Which could either be non-alcoholic. But she def meant alcohol because the state of the girl yelled, sloppy drunk.) Even though all that ran through my mind.... you know damn well, i went to this party.
I was feeling a little down the day of New Year's Eve and I debated on going to stay with my family, but though I love my (extended) family, I was not in the mood to bring in the new year with a bunch of moopy people. I know that sounds heartless considering that someone had just died in the family, but I could not spend another day wiping tears from my eyes. I needed a drink and a few laughs. This campus party was going to be my sanctuary.
When I got the the Dolan dorms, the front door was propped open with a shoe. Even from the downstairs lobby I could hear music coming from the second floor. - Now I know I said you could pretty much get away with anything on campus during the break, but there was still one RA in each dorm and having a party was sure to call attention and get everyone in trouble, but this girl didn't seem to care.
I enter her dorm and it's like a tiny apartment. I had been stuck in the freshman dorm this whole time I hadn't had the pleasure of seeing how great the upper class had it. THis dorm was a three bedroom apartment, with a kitchen, bathroom and a living room. Outside of being able to do their laundry this place was practically it's own house.
I was amazed, but not as amazed I was by the attendance on the party. It looked like every student that decided to stay on campus over break had crammed their way into the dorm room. There was only one other freshman at the party. It was this girl I had art history with. She was stirring a spoon in a red solo cup looking around the room like she was all alone and knew no body. I quickly made my way up to her.
"Hi, I think we're in Art History together. Name's Julian. You all alone to?" I asked.
The girl looked over at me like she were confused why I'd be talking to her. "Alone? No." She pushed passed me and hugged a tall blonde guy. I then heard her say, that creep was trying to hit on me.
The blonde looked over in my direction and I quickly pretended to pour a drink. "Julian?" I heard the guy say and I stiffened up. How the hell did he know me? He started walking toward me and my heart fell to my feet.
It was Alec. You know, the cute blonde guy I went to high school with. The one on the basketball team who always seemed to have a thing for Dea. The one I got a little to close with at Prom when I accidentally turned into his date (I had the power to change my appearance). Yeah, that Alec.
He ran up to me and gave me a hug, turning my ribs cage into dust in the process. "How's Dea?" was one of the first things he asked (after he asked me how I was doing - he's not a complete ass). That's about when his friend - the girl from Art history made her way back over.
"Haven't talked to her since the break up and, you know, since I started dating guys." I said.
If you're shocked I just came out and said it, well so was I. It's not that I want to hide the fact that I am gay, it's just having someone from High school around and them having the vivid image of me with girls made me uncomfortable. It's different when someone meets you and they get to know you as your current self, but having someone know you as a different person and then quickly erase that image from their mind is weird.
It's as if you can see the memory get distorted in their mind. It's written on their face in those first few moments. There's a bit of shock from being caught off guard, then the questioning (You know, the "was he gay then? and then? and when this happened?) Next there is that moment where the old you slowly gets washed away from their memory and they replace it with this new gay you. And not their thoughts are consumed with "Of course he was gay" and "It was so obviously. I knew this whole time." Finally they come back to the conversation and act like everything is normal.
"Cool, you dating anyone." Alec said nonchalantly. Now when I said people usually act like evrything is normal, I mean they say "So, how's school". You know, they changed the subject. Alec was so cool with the gay thing he flat out asked me about it.
"Not anymore. Thank god." I summed up mine and Raine's relationship in those four words. No more questioning was need from then on.
"Hey, sorry for thinking you were being a creep." THe art history girl said. "I love my gays." She then put her arm around my shoulder and ALec's. "What do you want to drink boys?"
From there, these two were my besties for the night. I found out Art history girls name is Fiona. She and Alec had been friends since middle school. Alec was going to school at Kent State and found this New Year's Eve party cute compared to the rangers he had back home. As I usually do, I pushed and pushed him to show us what Kent State parties are like. He waved me off the first few times I brought it up, but eventually word spread and the whole dorm room was egging him on.
He then set up this drinking course. You take a drink then bounce a ping pong, into the empty cup. Next, you drink and flip a cup, then you chug from a bag of wine, slap it and do a hand stand against a wall while someone put a beer pong in your mouth and you chug a beer.
"How do you win?" A girl in the crowd asked.
"Be the last to puke." Alec laughed and chugged his beer. This is when people got fucked up. Before I knew it I was peeing in the bathroom and I heard people counting down. I tried to push my pee out as quickly as I could, but I didn't make it in time. They counted to one and every one was cheering before I could get the door open.
However, it didn't matter if I was present or not. Alec brought the countdown to me. As soon as I opened the door he feel into the bathroom. "Happy New Year!" He screamed and pulled me into a hug. He then kissed me on the mouth. It was very dramatic and he even made a loud kissy nose too. It was very "bro" if you can consider a kiss on the lips with another man "bro"ish.
I was caught off guard, but thought it was just him being a goofball. However, the way he looked at me after the kiss made me hot. I looked over at the bathroom mirror behind him and could see my cheeks turn red (or as red as they could get through my tan skin).
"Happy new year." I said, not knowing what else to say. Then he went in for another kiss. This time however, it was not a joke kiss. It was a real open mouth, hands behind my head kiss. He kicked the door closed and pushed my back against the towel rack. We kissed for a good 10 seconds before someone tried to open the door.
"What's going on in there? What did you break?" Someone yelled.
"Shit." Alec stepped back and looked at the ground. He had dropped the two champagne glasses he brought in for us to drink onto the floor. In all the commotion, I hadn't noticed that my leg was soaked from the drink splattering. "I really had to pee." Alec said as the host came into the bathroom and saw the glass on the floor.
"You're cleaning it up." She said as she retrieved a broom and handed to me. She closed the door and left us.
"Had to pee, huh?" I joked as I turned toward Alec.
"What I did." He said as he began to pee in the toilet.
"Shit, dude." I saw and look away.
"Oh come on. Don't act like you never seen one."
"Yeah, when I want to." I bend over to clean up the glass.
"You don't want to?" He said as he shook his dick.
"I don't, i mean, I .. I ... I'm just so confused right know." I sweep the rest of the glass up and put it into the tiny trash bin in the bathroom. "Weren't you into Dea?"
"Weren't you?" He retorted.
"Plus, I wasn't into her. I only talked to her to talk to you." Alec said then told me how he didn't know he was gay in high school, but for some reason he had always wanted to hang with me. He didn't realize it was because he was gay until he kissed his date on prom night. (I couldn't tell him that it was actually me that he kissed on Prom night.) Either way the thought of kissing a girl and not me had made him realize he was gay and I was so cool with that.
At this point we were in the bathroom for a while so we decided to join the party. Most people were still up and chatting or smoking weed. Fiona was passed out on the couch. Alec wanted to have a cigarette and when he tried to light up in the dorm, the host kicked us out (Just to smoke not for the night). So, I went with Alec and we walked around the Quad and somehow we were walking through the building with the theater. So I took him to the second floor of the theater and showed him the stage.
Well, we didn't really look at the stage, it was too dark. Instead, we made out. Making out, then led to my pants around my ankle and Alec on his knees. Before we could get into the motion of things, the doors to the balcony burst open and flash lights were on us. I quickly pulled my pants up and and tried to run, but we were caught. It was campus police and they were pissed. Luckily, we hadn't drank anything in the past hour and we're pretty sober. Being the good liar I am, I told the cops we were at a party and they were getting wild so we decided to leave. I can't remember my exact words, but I made it look like we were innocent virgin boys who were scared of the party scene so wanted to chat in a quiet place.
I'm not sure they believed it. I'm still not sure if the cops actually saw me with my pants down, but they were eager to have us leave. As we walked back to the party, we saw a bunch of people running out. Fiona ran out and grabbed Alec's hand.
"The cops showed up. We got to go." She pulled Alec away.
"See ya Julian!" Alec yelled.
"You could have stayed with ---" My words were lost in the commotion. Alec was gone and the cops were chasing people down. I booked it to my dorm and spent far longer than I care to admit trying to find Alec on any social media. It was a fail and I haven't heard from him since.
