aromantic bug posting

the good, the bad and especially the ugly of being aroace ϱ my head is a waterfall and this is its well they/any

[sky-scribbles]

The friendship that saved the stars: An aroace reading of Project Hail Mary

As an aromantic asexual person, few things have ever infuriated me like Avengers: Endgame. Specifically, one small plot point near the end…

In my head, if not in canon, Grace is aromantic and asexual. But really, his identity doesn't matter. Grace himself doesn’t have to be aroace for Project Hail Mary to be an aroace story. This is a story about how connection saves us. It’s a friendship story; a story that rejects the idea that platonic love is lesser, or not enough for a fulfilling existence.

Or: this film healed something in my aroace soul and I couldn't rest until I'd talked about why it means so much to me.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[triangleguy]

[kitty-c4t]

[budugu]

[agnosticblowjob]

[thepictoblr]

dude. what did you do. everyone is here.

[armengoldira]

[archduck-waddles]

Fuck it

*un-sesame's your bun*

[demilypyro]

I don't know much about lady Gaga but I saw this clip on my timeline once years ago and since then I've been ride or die. idc. she a real one. I need this energy from more cis folks

[giphit]

Moffat will come up with the sickest concepts ever when writing under RTD's showrunning but when he's showrunning himself he creates the power ranger daleks

[wakingfromthewater]

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

[artistic-octopus]

[wordswithkittywitch]

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

[yeehawpim]

we go together Is a surreal slice-of-life webcomic by Pim updated three times a week

Edit: school pt 2

[yeehawpim]

Now available as a zine!

[praying-aromantis]

December 18th

i have all the physical turmoils of love without the emotional ones

i'm awkward, i'm nervous, i hesitate in all the weird ways, i lose my mind around people i like and while everyone would want to convince me these are the telltale signs of love i just have to disagree. on some molecular level i know that is not true. i cannot describe it any differently. maybe i internalised external expectations through which i now view certain interactions, maybe i am projecting something, maybe, maybe anything.

somehow through all the things i am uncertain about this is something that will all my heart i believe to be the case.

i mean, i would know, if i were in love? that is something that wouldn't happen without me, would it? would it?

recently i talked with someone in the psychward about me being aroace, the person themselves struggled with sexuality, but not in a queer way so it was a very interesting and enhancing conversation.

somehow i could say that being aromantic and asexual is easy, in a way. being is so much easier than being not.

[satellitesunset]

actually I love being aro !! I love not experiencing romantic attraction !! being aromantic is beautiful n fun !!

[praying-aromantis]

October 24th

one of of the things that retrospectively feels like such an aromantic moment, is that i rarely understood relationship drama.

when couples, especially in media, had a huge fight about that the other person looked at someone for too long, or that they're friends with "the opposite gender" or anything along those lines, anything that implied the suspicion of loving someone else.

heterosexism and homphobia and misogyny play a huge part in the weird notions that i just desrcibed, but i never truly got my confusion as i get it now.

why does falling out of love make you the villain? why is the person breaking up a bad guy? why is loving and not-loving a moral action?

it's so hurtful to be told that loving more than one person is disloyal and a bad thing to do. every little thing that is dominantly perceived and categorised as cheating. you get scared to love outside the love or not love at all.

similar to this ignorance, i am equally not understanding when people are talking about relationships. i would never assume people to be dating, intrinscially. ive learned to recognise the cues, but all the things they are desrcibing, i would do with my friends. i would not get that they are *dating*, unless they say so. unless i realise, people *dont* do everything of that with their friends, because they do recognise that difference as valid.

once again i am just overwhelmed by the bureaucracy of love.

[praying-aromantis]

October 10th

today i found out love was for me.

(a lie)

love wasnt made for me, it was made with me in mind.

this body of mine wasnt made for feelings, yet its all it can ever do.

love gives me physical pain; i dont think any of you understand.

love makes my head twitch, love makes my stomach turn upside down, loves make me want to punch my head, love makes me fold into myself, eat myself like an ouroboros would, it makes me pinch myself, scream emptily into the shower, it makes my mind completely useless.

i am emberassed of my love.

i couldnt show the unexplicable feelings infront of anyone i hold actually dear, for i understand them.

i would feel caught if anyone would see my love.

i love this love so rarely and when i do it consumes me and everything i believe about myself whole, it makes me emberassed to be me. i am embarrassed of myself, infront of myself, infront of other people.

i wish to cease to exist when i catch myself having love.

this body wasnt made for love, and it knows it, yet the universe and everyone in it is denial.

[praying-aromantis]

October 3rd

it happened. i fell in love.

for like, 3 days?

it felt like a betrayal to my self appointed aromanticism. as if i couldn't call myself that anymore.

sometimes i read the lgbtq wikia page to comfort my uncertainty. to tell myself: this experience is such a big spectrum, that not even a library could encompass it.

i dont want to use very specific labels, im scared of putting myself in boxes, but in my head even i have this rigid view of myself, this destroyed me.

i was in love - am in love? - im not sure. the screaming in my head was really intense for the mentioned 3 days and now its 'just' a longing.

something i experienced before, but just once.

i could call myself greyromantic, demiromantic, or whatever, whatever, but i think that would miss the point.

im still aro, im still ace because i feel closer to those terms than i do to alloness.

even so, my "falling in love" is nothing i would compare to what allo people tell me they feel. well maybe a bit. theres similarities, but with a degree i cannot explain it feels like my own very personal, very aromantic version of being hopelessly romantic.

its not something i want to confess, not something i want to appoint bureaucracy to, perform infront of an audience, its something i want to enjoy, and experience.

i am in love and i am aromantic and theres no contradiction.

i fell in love anew and i fell in love again - and i have been left stranded, again.

all my love ever succumbs to is longing.

[praying-aromantis]

September 19th

i didn't notice the heterosexism and homophobia and amatonormativity because i was obsessed with my gay ship.

i didnt notice how they ended the show with all the characters in forced opposite sex relationships, how relationships were valued over friendships, over self-actualisation.

i didnt notice until someone pointed that out to me. i thought i was primed to notice that. being mad over relationships that mean nothing because its just the thing that happens. that no story can be without a love story.

i felt like i let down the aromantic agenda™. stories are so important to me.

that's kind of a stupid thought, right? not wholly, because stories deserve to be about aromantic people and joy in contexts without love or with different kinds of love.

but in the way that im primed to have an omniscient perception of the ways relationships are portrayed in media. i can and should enjoy romances, if i like to. it doesnt hurt to be critical. its important even. but i dont have to be so tense.

[praying-aromantis]

September 15th

today i am not sad. today i am treating love and romance like a thought experiment.

i find the thought of people finding me attractive terrifying but also intriguing. today i met a guy and i noticed myself wanting to look desirable, without actually having intentions. i looked at myself from the third person and i felt like a manic pixie dream cutout, presenting myself mysteriously like i would be a piece of terribly misogynistic fiction.

i just want to know if it works. sometimes i want people telling me they have a crush on me (i'd melt into a puddle if that happened, and not in the flattered way)

i want to be the aromantic evil villain rejecting the people, playing with their poor hearts. ( of course i do not want that, i just like to sound dramatic)

later the day, or earlier, i dont remember, i thought about the ways i loved.

i've been - i am - in love once in my life. but that meant nothing. (again, dramatic) it's commonality, a casualty of life. it could use up all the words and still materialise into nothingness.

the person i loved the most i wasnt in love with. i loved it like we we're a pair of ice skaters dancing to the same rhythm, like we were synchronised swimmers, going up and down into the water - we were like the moon and the tide, choreographically aligned. its something that cant be put into words.

today i really grasped the concept of different types of love. today i wasnt sad.