"Christmas mythology interests me — well, not at all, actually," said Courfeyrac, closing the window against the chill. The curtains had been torn down from his apartment again, this time because Carl had left abruptly through the pane.
"Pity," said Marius, tying a branch of mistletoe to his head in the manner of a lady’s bonnet, but somehow still innocent to the meaning. "It would be illuminating if you considered it in light of where your pet has gone."
"What, that he has flown from my room on the back of an enormous lobster, adorned himself with festive bells and red ribbons, and has joined a cat to deliver gifts and cholera inoculations to the children of Paris?"
"And has done for hundreds — no, thousands of years."
"Don’t be ridiculous," said Courfeyrac. "Carl is no older than I am."
Outside, the children of Paris screamed with joy to receive their holiday cheer, as they had done every Christmas for time immemorial.
Early this morning, a red blur crashed through the window of the apartments standing above the Vintage Bar resale shop at 16 Rue de la Verrerie, jingling and wheezing.
Across Paris, children disposed of the useless cholera medicine, and received with more gratitude, as they have every year on this day, useless gifts like single macarons, slightly gnawed; and treasured antiques like a top hat bearing the initials R. de C. on the silk lining.
They will spend the rest of the year de-linting their carpets and black clothes, but filled inexplicably with holiday spirit and growing fear of lobsters.