Business Conservative

Ben l 19 l Virginia Very preppy and fun loving Apple and Tennis fanatic

[anne-hathaway]

If you love chess, which I do, but you don’t have anybody to play against, which I don’t, then sometimes you just gotta play yourself.

[weloveshortvideos]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

Oh my fucking GOD

[likeamillionsuns]

this is the best thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.

[jumpingjacktrash]

oh my gosh he’s gently play-biting them like they’re his own babies

[cozymochi]

@since-the-900s

[thespectacularspider-girl]

This lion’s name is Bonedigger and he was born with a crippling bone disease, so the keepers introduced three dachshunds to give him companionship; Abby, Bullet and Milo.

They’re his pride now!

[valkyrie-wrath-deactivated20190]

This is the only fucking thing I care about, do you hear me.

[yourladyindank]

I love how he calls them weenie dogs the whole time

[klubbhead]

Breh

[chickenfarmersan]

[antique-scarecrow]

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

[psychotictea]

A big mood

[blowyourhorn-deactivated2021051]

I missed this video

[prettyandmean]

Keeyum.

[lili-rochefort]

@huffpc

[jaidefinichonv2]

[vibraniumacrylicpowder]

He just… accepted it. I’m cracking up.

[lesbianightwing]

i’m losing my shit

[mrmvrd]

[gamerphobic-deactivated20200727]

these two are the first thing you see when you enter hell

[mahboi]

am i being interrogated

[lowfiver-deactivated20170326]

i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

[tuggywuggy-deactivated20151025]

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

[lowfiver-deactivated20170326]

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

[ruinedchildhood]

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

So my grandmother passed recently, and I got her will

My birth father was always a piece of shit, always stealing from his mother and ditching his kids whenever he could, I got to his part of the will and

Grammy had the last laugh

[battlefalcon]

This is actually done for legal reasons. If Chad was excluded from the will entirely, he could make the case that he was supposed to be included but was forgotten, and get a big chunk of the estate. By explicitly giving him $1, it shows he wasn’t forgotten so he doesnt have a case.

[homunculus-argument]

Story idea: The most wanted woman in town has announced that she’ll only marry the one who can open her front door with the key around her cat’s neck. Many men try to hunt the cat down, chase and trap it, but to no avail, the cat is simply too quick, smart and clever, and always finds a way to evade and avoid them.

 You are the first one to figure out the obvious: Do not chase the cat. The cat is befriendable. Get the cat to trust you, to genuinely enjoy your company, and you can hang out with the cat. You may eventually be allowed to touch the cat. The cat will freely let you take the key.

 Secondary plot twist: The woman is a shapeshifter. She is the cat.

[browntiger15-deactivated2020110]

That’s some legit fairy tale level shit right there.

[vampirejuice-deactivated2019112]

Gonna be honest I have a very vague understanding of what a 7 year old is. I know it’s a child. But what grade they’d be in, how much they would know about like, i dont know, science, or like, how big they would be. I have no idea. I have no idea what a 7 year old is. 

[vampirejuice-deactivated2019112]

So they are weaponized…

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

do u remember those fuckers those…

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

those WEEGGh gHOGH stick fuckers

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

THESE

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

And theyre called….. oh no-

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

Hey baby ;)

Wanna touch my Groan Tube

[goattrain]

Neon Groantube Evangelion

[durbikins]

[grimmtidings]

I can literally feel the walls of reality breaking down around me the longer this video plays.

[smitethestate]

That’s what the apocalypse sounds like.

[jennytrout]

I’m not usually one to promote censorship, but whoever made that thing should be thrown in jail.

[irishfolklore-deactivated201912]

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

[jedimagnus]

Why on earth hasn’t anyone invented a less terrifying way to open biscuits and cinnamon rolls???? 😩

[kayliemalinza]

because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all

[tackminyard]

this is genuinely the FUNNIEST thing i’ve seen all day