SAFETY FIRST

still the only macedonian on tumblr until proven otherwise. they/them, 30s. if you're not old enough to remember the Howard Dean scream you can follow me but you're on thin ice

[parkerposey]

Him: you better not be a man of constant sorrow when I get home

My stupid ass:

[girlnephew]

[eloso]

Someone was just setting the table for Christmas lunch when they took half a minute to lay out this vocabulary-changing bsky post, then carried on with their day...

[anarqueeen]

you fucking idiot. you misread a social encounter. we're gonna fucking kill you

[hxmosuperior]

it’s me boy it’s the oath of feanor speaking to you from inside your brain listen to me boy what you have left behind you should count now no loss; needless baggage on the road it has proved. let those that cursed your name, curse you still, and whine their way back to the cages of the valar! come with me and let the ships burn! we’ll have kinslaying times in… beleriand! doo doo doo doo ye-ea-ah! you need me boy the security of valinor is an illusio-

[pjackk]

MY NEW WAY TO HAVW FUN🔥🔥

[gunsandfireandshit]

[pressurised]

(crawling over glass in the used car dealership lot) can I please have a nissan

[7dmom]

Ants are a form of thing, known for travelling in cliques. They are small in size, unknown in color, and bashful in temperament. Every ant has two appendages they use to hurt other beings, and four appendages for other activities. Scientists have discovered many types of ants; gay, Protestant, electric, and chill. Their wealth is considered low.

[klapollo]

almost seven years deep into the 2020s this feels less like a retrospective evaluation and more like a prophetic vision

[grawly]

Have you guys seen this

[256gb]

in case you need further proof re: penn & teller’s shithead basketball

[fliesinthescreen]

mom called me a fag yesterday by accident

[fliesinthescreen]

she was going to call me a bitch (playful) and i saw her gears turning like no but he's trans i need to call him the male equivalent. and then say fag and look so so surprised at the word that came out of her own mouth. it was like watching someone fail a disco elysium skill check irl

[fliesinthescreen]

AUTHORITY - One of your sons is being annoying to the other. Make it clear that you think this is unfair.

YOU - "Stop being a b--"

REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Success] - Wait a minute.

DRAMA - Sire, the word you're about to use is historically feminine! Applying it to your transgender child is tantamount to misgendering him.

1. [Suggestion - Legendary 14] Think of a masculine equivalent to "bitch."

[ponett]

you just don't get shit like this with 8-episode streaming seasons

[giucomix]

Gf: I'm breaking up with you

Me: Motive's Misunderstanding ～ Confused Boy's Inquiry?!

Gf: It's the whole 'structuring every sentence like a touhou title' thing

Me: 東方零巫女 ～ Abandonment of All Lovers 😔

[marinolta]

Howard Buehler Collection: Misc Family Photos 50s-80s

[strawberry-crocodile]

ill be real the "poly people are uglyyy" thing just feels like cope? like theyre in a polycule. they have directly proven that multiple people find them hot enough to want to be in a relationship, often sexual, with. you have what? one single Monogamous Jessica, and you're terrified she'll leave you as soon as she sees a rooster with bigger tail feathers?

[strawberry-crocodile]

we have a winner folks, @some-stars got it in one

[cali]

Post: atheist youtubers are overdosing on deep rock galactic pussy me: not true Post: bunnies and cats are learning how to write in new language called US american cuneiform me: thats right