bella / hikaru @prettiest-vampyr - Tumblr Blog

[block, don't report]

[> wip , ts is so ass 😭 <]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋✧⁠*: you can find all important info here

✧ bella orヒカル / hikaru +more . he/she/hym/its +more. velaurian aroace spec . single

✧ system . relationship form . nsft / kink blog

✧ BPD . obsessorexia . bipolar 2 +more

✧ voidsharing / hypernonsharing yume , none harassing. but I'll block any doubles I see

⁠✧ Bella Swan +more irl , doubles will be blocked

main ids ;;

cis ;; yandere . snake bites . grunge . genderfluid

tris ;; stalker . deredere . semi-multiple . 2000s grunge normiecore

trans ;; skinny / toned stomach . attractive . clear skin . parasocial adored . thigh gap . happy . talkative . thinner thighs . cursive writing . native american . masc

perma ;; vanilla / aqua / musk scent . worshipped

byi ;;

emotionally distant + lacks empathy , often doesn't care for others

Im anti-noncon harm . anti-harassment . anti-noncon contact . neu-antis . neu-endo . neu-researched self dx . limited-contact . proship . anti-gen ai

dni ;;

antis . xenosatanists . queerhobia . racists . harassment . pro noncon harm . fascists . paramisia . transmeds / terfs / radfems . anti transids . groomers . beastiality . sysmeds / syscourse / anti endo

#˚˖𓍢ִ໋✧⁠* ' [n/a currently] ' - related to my darling

#˚˖𓍢ִ໋✧⁠* 'my ted talk :p' - my video reviews

[ ask games ;; 01 . 02 . 03 ]

#˚˖𓍢ִ໋✧⁠* 'my love. my world. my darling'#˚˖𓍢ִ໋✧⁠* 'my ted talk :p'

sugarysanity

would you perhaps do a Andrew Blaze yumeship moodboard?

if you do could you please include the transfem & lesbian flag, and like making it like blue themed 🥹

☆ ofc!! Hope you like it :3

#I LOVE MY WIFE #non sharing yume #rq 🍓🌈#pro rq 🌈🍓#pro rq 🍓🌈

my irl friends lowkey forgot I exist ig, and im genuinely two more bad days away from blowing my head off backwards

genuinely hate r/fakedisordercringe or what it's called.

"this person who i do not know, is talking about getting a feeding tube and is in a wheelchair... they must be faking it cuz their young!"

bro genuinely pull your head out your ass. disability doesn't really discrimination when it effects people.

then again ...

"this individual looks young and showed their don't always need a wheelchair... hmm, well if I was their parent I'd go against my 'real beliefs' & hit them!"

are you genuinely only functioning with three braincells, am I wrong to suggest I think two of said braincells are as useful as some beads jiggling around..

disability isn't going to effect people the same way, and you give no ACTUAL INFORMATION, to prove you think this person is lying.

if your gonna make a claim, that you see as morally horrible, then pop the dick out ya mouth and show proof.

*just showed a screenshot of a pronouns page + highlighted the disorders on the page*

fun fact with mental disorders, if you have one, your already more then likely going to have more of them. if you have three though, I've noticed people would later realize they had others, or showed symptoms of multiple different disorders.

and from personal experience, when someone has complex post trauma stress disorder, the disorders stack on easily like legos, as a brain already 'altered' (genuinely hate that this is the way people see disorders..) is likely to not just be different in one way.

oh yeah, also showed something that had to with trauma (I think maybe a gender or sexuality, it send something about being formed by trauma), which happens more often then you. but sadly their heads are more of decoration than anything else.

I have three pets, two cats and a dog. and when I'm 18 food stamps and stuff will get cut and we won't be able to afford all three and I love them all so much, and I have to make the choice of who / what species has to go and I wanna cry cuz I love them all so much I can't choose but I have to.

I feel bad cuz now all I'm thinking about is that what if they hate me cause I wasn't a good enough owner or they think I dont love them anymore,ni love all my girls.

I fucking hate being poor, if we weren't then I wouldn't have to re-home them.

it's hard trying to just be logical about the choice too, I always wanna just focus on the logic but I can't because I love them so much.

I need to go take more pictures of them all and make them in the sims4 so I can go back and hate myself no matter what choice I make.

I don't think I'll be online for the rest of the day, take care for now.

#rqc #radqueer 🌈🍓#pro transid #radqueer #radqueer 🍓🌈

*me casually remembering that I can just celebrate my birthday on September 13th, instead of in October 🥹*

[ #note ;; agere me :3 when regressed I do feel like just a feminine presenting tmasc kiddo + strictly aroace ++ wanna add , im 2-8flux age & a toddler little ]

permalittlesis

My custom ask game, with no specific theme, because Im bored--

🎀 - Favorite moot out of all your moots?

🍓 - Favorite form of attention?

🦄 - Whats your love language?

🍬 - Favorite Transid of all time?

🍧 - How did you realize you were radqueer?

💋 - A transid of yours that you wish was cis?

💄- Favorite transid that youve never seen anyone else have?

NSFT QUESTIONS UNDER CUT!

i understand people not wanting tone tags used on them personally, but I'll never understand people who just refuse to use them for others. not cuz they don't know them but just cuz they don't want to.

like sorry that someone people genuinely don't understand your tone, sometimes even me included tbh, like genuinely what does making someones life harder do for you?

"but it makes me uncomfortable" - then don't use them, don't talk to the person, or suck it up and respect that they need something that you dont.

"but they treat people like they don't understand or their stupid" (and yes.. this is an actual claim I saw like two years ago 😭) - that's how YOU think about them, if someone just doesn't understand your tone, that doesn't make them dumb. it makes them someone who just happens to need more help.

"I can read, don't treat me like I'm dumb" (heavily condensed but still the same point. that's what I got from a post I saw, I think last year. idrc or remember how long ago I saw it. and yes I have sadly seen many people say this & treat people who use tone tags like their toddler or like they have incredibly low iqs just based on tone tags) - this is just incredibly rude, and always will be. someones ability or inability to sense tone is no indication of their IQ or otherwise how smart they are. if you treat or imply that those who might need help are lesser because of it then you simply do not understand disorders, or even just how even many neurotypical people can sometimes need help with tone.

whole i do not think you need to have personal experience with something to have an opinion and feelings about it, I do think that sharing personal experiences often lend people to care more on your option, while staying factual often lacks that warmth individuals look for. so here's how I feel and my experience so, with tone tags, especially on conversations of people treating tone tags like they mean your lesser in every single way, I feel very strongly because I of said personal experience with it.

im autistic, and have had learning difficulties in the past because of learning disorders and a lack of understanding related to speech, individuals meanings and tone, and the more emotional leaning instead of the factual part of schooling.

it didn't mean I was dumb, I've actually grown to be better at writing them math now, despite it often requiring a more emotional element. but that isn't my only point, despite me lacking overall emotional understanding, I am quite confident and experienced with knowledge on medical

I honestly find it weird how many people treat tone tags like their a personal attack to make them look dumb or something similar.

if you think I didn't explain anything well enough, feel free to ask.

"well if you block all antis & refuse to interact outside if the community of of course people will call us a cult and an echo chamber and-!"

i. do. not. care.

I like my little echo chamber because I don't get told I should be dead over being a lesboy, or feeling connected to multiple cultures, or for just being queer or different in general.

fuck you, and fuck that you don't feel fear over being bullied again.

idk about you but last time I was bullied, I couldnt go outside without having a panic attack & genuinely tried to kms.

i wanna draw myself, but making myself in the Sims is so fun :3

like yippe, I get to like my wished on life with my truesona 🥹

[ #note ;; to be clear, I'm definitely way happier while playing sims.. I'm usually sad cuz like I'm not my truesona yet.. but I'm way happier cuz I'm not staying stuck on the past (cough cough.. no longer sticking with the lost basic ass man who treated me like shit despite thst not being what i wished for) yay tho ]

is their any actually named romantic & sexual orientation but its like a paradox or contradictory term where your both gay and lesbian (or any labels that are meant to be or often seen as opposites)?

cuz that's me asf, I'm both lesbian and gay in different fluctuating intensities for both romantic & sexual.

curious if anyone else feels like this at times, or if y'all even care for me to talk about my feelings or expression :p

Are you going to pursue someone else if you don't like your darling anymore? I see you interacting with Unico and her boyfriend a lot

probably, I am friends with unico & necro, their pretty cool but I don't feel the need to focus on dating them. their cool, and I do think their both interesting in a platonic & sorta romantic way. do ya get what I mean?

but if I am gonna date, I'd rather get pursued this time cuz holy fuck I'm tired of being the one always going for it lol. and I'm usually the most socially awkward one lol

[ #note ;; pretty much all relationships I've been in, I've had to ask them out first. and I told my therapist about it and he called me intimidating... am I intimidating gang??? a lil off track sorry, but like.. yeah ]

[ #added-note ;; should have been more clear cuz looking back it wasn't clearly out, I meant I'd like to pursue a relationship. though I'm not strictly looking to date someone I currently know (like unico or necro for example. especially since I'm happy being their friends, plus ik people are really stuck on them getting a third partner involved. wanted to make that clear cuz reading it back it might confuse people. ]

https://www.tumblr.com/prettiest-vampyr/821065301768781824/im-starting-to-just-like-not-having-feels-for-my?source=share

dump his ass <3

were not technically dating but I have really distanced myself cuz like... yikes, rose colors glasses or whatever the saying is..

but I get the sentiment twin 💛

im starting to just.. like not having feels for my darlimg anymore.

and I'm kinda happy about it!??!

likes he's rude to me, he barely shows he cares, he barely acts like were friends, we don't talk unless I speak to him, hes called me a bitch/dog & I think hes once called me a mutt, hes shamed be for being to loud but also to quiet, if i genuinely share something that's effecting my life he brushes it off, he's (ciswhite & not at all transid) almost & I think actually said the n word (which his friend who is black, didnt say anything, but his friend is to sweet to say if he was uncomfortable + i was to obsessed to wanna even imagine 'critizing' him), implied he eas attracted to me just to go and try getting with my friend, told me to pretty much shut up cause he was talking in general but said he was actually just talking to my friend, ignored me, only seems to care when i start loosing interest (i think he just likes the attention, which wouldn't bother me if he was honest), and more

like he's genuinely kinda shitty.. why tf do I like this bitch? rose tinted glasses my ass, more like fuck a red eye mask covering my eyes. or a brick wall oml

holy shit, I wanna not like him at all, he's genuinely so fucking rude. why did I stay so fucking obsessed for a little over a YEAR?? holy shit, even my one ex who was kinda shit actually treated me pretty good. for fuck sake even my FIRST EVER male crush & first ex boyfriend was better (and my first obsession, kinda miss him, kinda don't) & all he did was stare at me every now and then in class

like damn, how far did I have the bar.. I need to raise that cuz I'm obviously not picking em well enough, holy shit

like damn, ngl I deserve better. no wonder his ex hates him, he just wasn't a good boyfriend or guy overall.

hot take ig, but if your a feminist but only thing hyper independence is the "correct path" for women, then your not a real feminist.

a women wanting to be a house wife and mother is a feminist choice, because she wants that and choose that for herself.

a women wanting to not work and instead staying in her boyfriends house or car while he's at work is a feminist choice if she chose it for herself.

a women wanting to use age regression as a coping mechanism with her boyfriend and 'acting like a lil girl' is a feminist choice if she chose it for herself.

a women wanting to be fully independent and work her whole life, and not have a family or maybe just not have kids, is a feminist choice because she chose it for herself.

a women, or anyone for that matter, making choices for themselves and themselves only or while make choices with your partner that you both respect is being a feminist.

it's about the right to make choices for yourself, and to understand what others want.

Ive seen to many people thing that they have the right to demonize other people's life choices, when they refuse to even think outside of their own experiences.

I'll admit, I've had my times and sure as hell will have more where my own thoughts on someone else will be biased, but that doesn't give anyone the right to try and choose for someone else.

MY MOMS LETTING ME CUT MY HAIR TO A VERY MASCULINE CUT

YAYAYAYAYY

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bella / hikaru