Need more completely unhinged platonic friendships. If one of them isn't screaming, "YOU DON'T DIE UNTIL I SAY YOU DIE!" while actively bringing the other back to life, then what are we even doing here?
Sweet Seals For You, Always

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
will byers stan first human second
RMH
trying on a metaphor

Origami Around
KIROKAZE
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Monterey Bay Aquarium
macklin celebrini has autism
Cosimo Galluzzi
Mike Driver

JBB: An Artblog!
Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost

Kiana Khansmith
$LAYYYTER
Today's Document
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Not today Justin

seen from Sweden

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@prettyppetty
Need more completely unhinged platonic friendships. If one of them isn't screaming, "YOU DON'T DIE UNTIL I SAY YOU DIE!" while actively bringing the other back to life, then what are we even doing here?
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
I couldn't get these two and their dynamic out of my head, @gallusrostromegalus I doodled them (guessed on their collars)
OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART
you should be allowed to not pay rent if you want
IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E
I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y
ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june
get spooky
how does this appear every june
T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y
Come on in, take off your skin and dance around in your bones.
I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”
Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.
Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.
Me:
Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted
Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.
Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.
Daughter: /nods seriously/
Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned
The kids are right Jazz
But what if I want to be the secret librarian?
Me: what if you were the secret librarian?
Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.
Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A good librarian.
Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand
What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.
“Why would you want to be a housewife that’s so oppressive to women!!”
Actually it’s only oppressive to women if you choose the wrong husband… Personally my boyfriend is the sweetest person I’ve ever met though so that’s not really a concern to me.
Maybe get better taste in men if that’s why you’re against housewives…
Guys I spent my last $10 on flowers help
Hey did you guys know that it costs money to live?
we fucked up
if i don't lock in they'll kill me. if i don't lock in they are going to kill me. not in an honourable way. like a dog. afraid
weird me out? no. you've weirded me in. let's merge souls
Coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing not fine
Going back in my cage
Because I want a nap
EVERYONE DRINK WATER RIGHT NOW AND REBLOG TO KEEP THE HYDRATION GANG CHAIN GOING
"Tattoos are becoming unpopular", "piercings are unpopular again", "keep your hair natural never dye it again, it's the trend now" literally fuck off I know what y'all are doing
my wife (ao3) has left me for battle (gone down for maintenance) and will be gone for all of eternity (15 hours) and I can feel my heart breaking every second she is gone (I have 400k words downloaded and am busy all day)
A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad
#this is team skull
The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.
I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy
My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats. The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe. Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle. Whenever he came over I’d put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don’t like being shut away without one of us.
One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box. I let her out and decide, hey, I’m hungry, and decide to the kitchen. I forgot to shut the bedroom door.
Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent. My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up. I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy’s leg, purring, and doing her “let me on your lap” meow. The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out. I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she’s harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her. Very slowly he touches my cat’s face, and she leans right into his hand. He then pets her back and sighs because she’s really soft and purring like mad. After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it’s okay if she sits on his lap.
He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat. The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats. He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them. A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent.
Oh no a new one!!!
Blessed post.
I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went ”I always wanted to learn how to ride but I’m afraid of horses because they’re so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I’d dare but now I’m too big and heavy for them.” You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they’re not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I’m helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride.
A few years ago my sister and I were in Daytona Beach, and we saw this huge, burly biker. Looked like the stereotypical biker: big black beard, the goggles, leather, and a bandana. He also had a baby carrier, and in that baby carrier was a tiny little orange Pomeranian. We complimented his dog and he said, in one of the deepest voices I’ve ever heard, “thanks, his name’s Little Bear!” And he told us about how he’d take Little Bear out on his motorcycle everyday and how much the dog loved it.
Such a lovely post.
I’m not even putting this in the museum, it shall run free and collect more lovely stories.
One time a Barbie exhibit came to my local art museum and my sister in law and I went to go check it out. They had a lot of interactive stuff, including a shiny pink full-size Barbie convertible that you could sit in and have a docent snap a pic of you. Obviously we did that. As we were walking away, we saw two guys, probably in their 20’s, usual kind of tough guy bro dudes, walking towards us. I remember thinking to myself that these did NOT look like the type of guys I’d ever expect to see at the art museum, much less in the Barbie exhibit. As they walked past, one of the guys saw the car, gasped and grabbed his friend’s arm and goes “DUDE!!! Dude, we HAVE to take a picture in the Barbie car!!” His friend goes “Aw, come on….thats gay….” His friend stopped, looked at his buddy and said “Dude, where’s your sense of whimsy? Let’s go have fun, nobody is gonna make fun of you for sitting in the Barbie car.” The other guy looked down, then looked back up grinning and was like “You’re right. Let’s go sit in the Barbie car.” As we were leaving the museum, we saw them taking pictures of themselves in the life-size Barbie display box, trying to strike a Barbie pose and cracking up. Now whenever my sister in law or I balk from doing something fun, we’ll look at the one balking and say “where’s your sense of whimsy? Go sit in the Barbie car!!”
thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3