nancy @princessyaps - Tumblr Blog

hiiiii im sydney and i write things and here u can find out more about the things that i write!!!

this blog will mainly feature my cookie run human au, but also my other writing universes as well.

please feel free to ask me questions about anything ever! askbox is always open

my ao3 is sugarsaphceo 🩷🩷🩷🩷 (creds)

one day an older teenager (18 or so i imagine) carlos asks for a sleepover with neil and luis has watched him grow very strongly into his sexuality in recent years and so he says “there will be no sex in my house” and carlos freaks the fuck out like What??!!? What!?????? Huh??!? and luis is like. “i am aware you like him. do not pull a fast one on me.” and carlos just bursts into tears like HOW DID YOU KNIW??? HOW DID YOU KNOW IM SO SORRY??!!!??!! and luis just sits there and pinches his temples like carlos ddint come home after school at age 7 everyday and draw hearts with his and neil’s name in his notebooks. like he didn’t talk about neil everyday if hus life in childhood. like he didnt see ‘boys kissing’ in the computer search history when carlos was 12. like he hasnt watched carlos stare at him with googoo eyes for years, like he hasn’t seen them interact with all the love in the world for as long as he can remember them being friends. luis has longgg since lost the battle of trying to convince himself his son isnt gay. long story short thats how carlos came out and luis found out his son was a pathetic oblivious wet pathetic loser

princessyaps

important to note 18 yr old carlos is likely not out to anyone else but kaia and chandrai lol. 18 year old carlos who thought if his dad ever found out he was gay he would get disowned. 18 year old carlos grappling with enough internalized homophobia to kill 7 families. 18 year old carlos who believes his … attraction to men is one of the things that will forever keep him from being the son his father wants and deserves. devastating for him at the time to have his father find out btw.

#luis is not homophobic brw #just very traditional and catholic #not that carlos knew that

i should say that there will be a tonal shift in the story as well as a sort of structure shift now that it’s original fiction. you can expect tonally something along the lines of am i my brother’s keeper, the character studies that i do (i.e. addiction and 11), and waiting drives you crazy. while there will of course be many lighter moments it’s just going to be a lot more serious because that’s where i like to resonate when writing.

i say this as a warning per se because there will be parts that explicitly delve into much darker themes that were previously skirted around. while i would say i unfortunately can’t avoid the genre title of ‘realistic fiction’ because of the nature of the universe, i am going to delve deeper into tragedy and psychological/mental health horror as secondary genres when fitting. of course romance is also a primary part but that’s a given. overall it’s going to be less slice of life and characters existing and more plot/narrative/action driven.

structurally i am annoyed with the lack of traditional narrative novel structure such as antagonists and climaxes and etc. etc. you know what i mean so things are also going to change in that respect, too. traditionally in fanfiction you don’t need any of that but this is not fanfic anymore so 🩷 yay

#princess yap #already planning a new quiet antagonist so #not quite shre who the overarching antagonist is in the novel tho?#it might just be a man vs. self situation #not quite used to that

if a woman in crvtw is wearing pigtails in front of carlos btw lol that is done on purpose for a significant reason just throwing that out there

hii quick question ,, in the crvtw , i beliiiive ( ? ) most of the characters are based off of crk characters ?? correct me if i’m wrong lol i very well may be but if so is it possible to get a list of who corresponds to who ? /nf love love love ur work bee tee dubsss :33

HI 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

they Were and technically some still Are (😒😒😒😒) and i really want to try and sway people away from associating them with these characters but i can tell you who they Started as because i recognize it can be really confusing!!!!!!

carlos: fire spirit

neil: wind archer

summer: sugarfly

beckett: black sapph

candy: candy apple i think tjats obvious

charlie: was previously smilk but the character is being completely reworked

juno: eternal sugar

peter 🩷🩷: pavlova

serena: she is an oc but shes based on snowdrop which is still an existing cookie run oc i have

luis: pitaya but the charactet is being gently reworked slightly

holly: i think obvious but hollyberry

priscilla: princess

keith: knight

teresa: tiger lily

adley: adventurer

kaia: sea fairy

chandrai: moonlight

these are for the most part all the important characters/characters ive reworked ☺️ others i havent thought about yet or just were ocs to begin with. i think its important to still know who they Started as because of my like 30 mfau fics that are still technically 90% canon to the universe so 😊 thank you so much for the ask i really appreciate it and love when people ask me things!! and if anyone else has a specific character present in the mfau that u wanna know how they translate to crvtw (it could even be someone on yhis list because mosy characters have at least slight changes) feel free to ask!!!

#princess yap #carlos rosado vs the world

something about being neil and being a normal person who’s watched your best friend grow from being the little 7 year old who would skin his knee on the playground and always cheat at tag and beg to sleepover at your house to this bully who seems to be more concerned with school fights and growing his sky-rocketing youtube channel than the things you so cherished about your friendship in your youth. and then going off to college away from him while hes still in hs and hearing horrid stories about him and his behavior while you’re gone from your other two best friends and watching his life in videos online instead of being able to be there for it. and then when he finally joins you at college and you think you’re finally going to go back to being normal like you thought you would, he decides to pursue a music career on top of school and suddenly you’re pushed to the background again as he gets involved in this life yoh know nothing about and are growing increasingly scared of. and then you sit back and watch him seemingly fall for someone else, and find a new found family in NYC, and everything feels like hes just leaving you behind. and yet you love him. you love him, and you hold on. and he finally brings you to meet his new friends, but there’s his new girlfriend. but oh, the girlfriend seems to be gone, ans finally you seem to be apart of his life again, but you know he’s also got this other side of him, and he’s just getting deeper and deeper into the industry and more famous and you don’t know what to do, but you love him, so you hold on. and you think you’re going to be okay in this limbo but after a couple years, he starts to pull away, and suddenly everythings coming crashing down, and you don’t understand why all of this is happening, you don’t understand why he hates you, you don’t understand why he’s ghosting everyone, you don’t understand why he’s mad all the time— but you fight for it and you fight for it until you think you can’t anymore. even when things like his engagement come to light and you finally surrender yourself to the fact that he’ll never love you in return, you stay and you stay and you stay because who are you without the man you’ve loved your entire life?

and then he disappears off the face of the earth for over a month. when you finally see him again, he’s so different it’s like it’s someone else completely. you try to exist with this shell of him and it’s hard. it’s really fucking hard. you start to let yourself mourn what you had and accept that it might be time to move on.

and then he tells you he’s in love with you, and suddenly everythings perfect and lovely and this is what you’ve been waiting for, and you’re in love and that’s all that matters, and everything has led to this, and you think it all makes sense now, except there’s still something naggung at you, something he won’t tell you, something he wont say. he loves you, and you’re building your life, but somethings still not right. you learn to detach yourself from it and accept that he’s not the kid you once knew and never will be, and it doesn’t matter how he changes because you love him no matter what.

and then he tells ypu everything and suddenly you’re having trouble looking at him head on and you can’t help it and you know it hurts him but you’re not sure what to do now that you know why he hits himself on the side of his head and why he can’t say her name and why he cant look at a mirror in the dark. but you love him, you do, and you work and you work and you work through it. and in yhe end, what else is there to do but love him?

i think … i dont know. i dont really know what im trying to say. i just think neil, despite being arguably the second protagonist in a way, kinda goes unseen in his own respect in favor of carlos’. like how does this all affect him? it obviously has to affect him a lot. idk. i was just thinking and wnated to share

#princess yap

CRvtW sexuality and gender stuff for pride month hello (i am not including cishets)

carlos: he prefers unlabeled but will also identify with queer if he has to, he is just attracted to any type of gender identity sexually but he struggles to form long-term romantic feelings that aren’t fleeting/most romantic feelimgs tend to relate to the forming of a favorite person and everything else is typically a fleeting crush

neil: demiboy and uses he/they pronouns but prefers he/him. if he had to describe himself he woild say hes about 60% a man and 40% nonbinary, and he personally views that 40% as something sort of void of gender at all. he is strongly aroacespec, specifically demisexual. he has only ever felt attraction for carlos. he identifies with achillean instead of just gay/homosexual because he believes that he would be attracted to carlos no matter what his gender identity/sex was, but has only ever actually experienced attraction to men.

beckett: bisexual king but hes far on the aroacespectrum. he doesn’t really have a label for that part but he doesn’t feel sexual attraction particularly strongly ever but does still feel it

charlie: completely aroace, no attraction towards anyone

candy: questioning if she has any attraction towards women but has always identified as straight

juno: BIG OL LESSSSBIAAANNN!!! WOOOOOOOO

priscilla: she’s bi despite being in a heteronormative relationship most of her life

holly: also bi but actually leans towards women despite being married to a man

kaia: ALSO A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

chandrai: bisexual but also likes to use rhe term sapphic

i dont remember who else exists 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 and if theyre not here theyre cishet 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 great 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

#princess yap

i just really need to point out, and this is one of the most important things i could say, that serena too is an unreliable narrator.

you are not supposed to come out the other side of the novel hating carlos or thinking that he doesn’t love her. i know when you just read it in very brief its easy to do that but thats not how it is. serena is extremely depressed and self-deprecative. she does not and cannot believe that carlos loves her. but you have to remember that this novel is intended to be a SIDE novel to accompany the main series.

and what do we know from the main series? we know that carlos has not been the same since he left serena. we know that, for 4 years as of present day, he has never been the same. we have seen him say explicitly that he is in love with her. we have seen him acknowledge that he treated her horribly and that he regrets it. we have seen him express that he would still get back together with her. we see that the subject of serena is extremely touchy still. we see that he keeps her mittens and polaroids of her in his closet with what was meant to be jolie’s baby blanket, we see that he still searches for her smell. we see that he sees her in everything and will defend her name at any opportunity. we see that, in times of distress, his instinct is to run to her. we see that he bought her a wedding ring. we see that the guilt for what he did to her haunts him everyday. we see that he took up alcohol in order to try and make himself feel better. all of this and more, so much more, that exists so clearly in the original material if you have the eyes to see it.

what also happens is jolie. jolie, who has her blonde hair, and most particuarly, serena’s eyes. while dream jolie is a wavering encapsulation of every woman (sister, friend, lover, mother) that carlos has ever loved (described in 1-3-2), nightmare and hallucination jolie is a sick version of serena with the personality of everything carlos hates about himself. jolie is, in the end, a metaphor. for every ache he has for the daughter he never had, it’s an ache for serena. it’s important for me to say that both if his major suicide attempts were directly caused by grief for jolie and indirectly by grief for serena.

serena does not see carlos’ love for her because she is not present in the main narrative, she’s not around in carlos’ life to see all of this. but when you as the reader see the main narrative, you see the way she sits between every line and how she haunts everything carlos will ever do.

you are not meant to come out of this story blaming either of them, that’s not the point. it’s a tragedy. they are two human characters who do human things, and human does not always translate to likable. they are both human and their lives mixed in an awful way (because snow and fire can never work together), and they got split apart by a tragedy that will live with them forever. you are meant to see this story from a holistic perspective and see every side. you see how serena hurts and aches and you see the validity in that and acknowledge it. you also see how carlos is a product of his childhood and his mental health, and while that’s not an excuse, it’s an explanation you’re meant to empathize with.

people are not black and white. stories are not black and white. tragedies are not black and white. we all live in shades of gray and so do these two. the point of this story is to understand these characters further, not to judge. the point is to empathize. the point is to understand what has driven carlos to this point. but most of all, the point is to give serena a voice, to let her speak and have her story told, because otherwise her face is forgotten and she’s nothing more than the white of the page. but in telling her story, it does not discredit or invalidate carlos’ story. they coexist and strengthen each other.

tl;dr: they love each other and handle it in different ways, and are not mind readers and are not privy to what the other thinks. you must come to analyzing this story from an all-encompassing perspective.

#princess yap #carlos rosado vs the world #carlena #serena novel

i think its important to note that my canon timeline for cr still exists. my firewind plot still exists. snowfire still exists as snowfire in canon universe (their og form) even if its really different. i may have chanhed my human au to original characters but my canon crk stuff likeee still exists. i just am too lazy to write for it but

sugarsaph

very important. if i changed the human au to instead be my own oc universe and published more fiction on ao3 under oc tags and changed their names (and more) and called it something completely different… would you still read it?

please be honest

yes i would

i would likely not

i would be more likely to read it this way

yes but i am only interested in carlos/neil

if you change the au to your own work i just won’t be interested anymore

other (explain in comments or anon)

sydney answer

Voting ended onMay 31

matsumane

one of the most beautiful images to me in the serena novel is the image of carlos holding back serenas hair while she vomits into a toilet. i think its an image that could define the latter half of the novel in multiple ways because of how layered the action and context is but honestly above all else its the image i think about the most because its so beautiful to me. it just has so much meaning to it and i think its such a beautiful beautiful thing to be intimate in that way.. to trust someone that way.. especially considering these two and they’re story it just…. god part 6 how i love you. i don’t know it just means so much to me you know, like it won’t make sense to most but to those who are aware of the main plot events in the novel like. you have to understand that this image sort of speaks for the novel and their relationship and also exists like a painting in the back of their minds that follows them to the future. the bathroom is such a heavy setting motif for multiple reasons and definitions in carlos’ story (and serena’s but i mean the overarching narrative here, since carlos is the main character of my entire au/universe), and it comes back again and again and again and means new and more horrific things each time but there were points where it was once beautiful. once this place was beautiful. once we were beautiful. once we existed and were more than just blood on the bathroom tile. it just means so much to me, the entire image. if i was more talented i would paint it.

princessyaps

again i hope that eventually there comes a day where i finish this novel and you finally see what all these images and motifs mean, on their own and as a part of the narrative, and i hope that you guys find beauty in it, too

losing my interest in cookie run for the time being…. goodbye my novel 🙁

could you talk about princessknight maybeeeeee! Heheh I kinda want to know the dynamic and stuff…and how you characterize them..anything really.. I just loveeeee seeing them in your au💗💗

such a great question thank you lia 🩷

soooo okay ummmm. hmmmm. well you might already know this but!!!! they meet when princess moves to michigan (from new york but not nyc) after hollytaya get married, when theyre both like 15-16 i think? and they become besties quickly, and they have this dynamic of like pretty, very popular cheerleader who everyone likes x random guy whos in love with her and follows her everywhere. knight was technically a jock/prep (REAL prep not whatever the kids are calling prep nowadays), but he wasnt really very well known or anything like that so he really was sort of just this random giy. but theyre happy as best friends for sure…. girl and her guy who follows her around and she gets to order him around to do whatever. i think he woild always carry all her books for her in the halls and drop her off at her classes even if it meant he might be late to his own. whipped as hell

princess doesnt really realize she has feelings for him or see him that way until their senior prom (around that time), where they go to together if you havent read my fic. i think they have a really romantic night and they end up dancing a lot and staring into each other’s eyes and it really hits her like a truck… he fell first but she fell harder and flat on her face sorta thing… and so they dance around each pther for a month or two more before princess just cant help herself and confesses to him; ive debated a few things but not quite decided whay i plan on dping with that just yet, but i do think its princess who confesses first, around when they graduate. and theyve been together ever since!

they have their ups and downs but theure mostly very sweet. i think a big part of their dynamic is that he really is, in a way, her real life knight. he protects her and cherishes her and worships the ground she walks on and whatever… hes very completely loyal to her and she loves that and adores him. on the other hand, princess is the bubbly happy-go-lucky hot girl hes always wanted… but more than that i think she really, even when they were just friends, sort of opened his eyes up to being loved and cherished, too, and ahes a great girlfriend and wife to him and keeps his otherwise mundane life exciting.

knight owns a rec-center and went to school for sports and recreation management. yes that is a thing i promise. princess went to cosmetology school instead of college and is a hair and makeup artist professionally. i think, outside of the dragon family, they live a very nice and normal lofe (thqts sort of the point). princess gets to boss him around for eternity and knight is right where he wants to be

i hope this answers your question! i didnt know exactly what to say but !! thank you for the question 🥹🩷

#princess yap #mf human au #mf princessknight

what if people asked me questions about my writing universes. anything at all

one of my favorite human au aus to think about is the one where fire spirit is already dead

on the topic of fires fame, i dont think ive mentioned he also has some movie credits in the bg of smilks movies. he gets like one line as a token appearance and its the most poorly acted line in the film, absolutely dogshit. he just loves red carpets (attention) and being onset with his family friends. i think he also gets featured in music videos a lot, mostly by popstars or as some guest dancer. he def has been killed in a sabrina mv and i think he wouldve shined as the guy in adela’s kgb mv because he would love to be on a leash. backup in a katseye vid or something. like yeah. or just starring as his hot self lkke hudson in madwoman. do we see thevision

i think part of his huge fun is being featured in pop culture

#princess yap #mf human au

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