Last week New Girl came back and while not as strong as I expected, I was hoping this week would redeem itself. It makes me sad, but "womp womp" it was so whatever. I think that this season is a little too serious. This week Nick realizes that he is Jess's "emotional fluffer". You know, the guy that fills a girls emotional needs while she has meaningless exploits with something else. Winston finds himself mentally cheating on his girlfriend since she seems to only ever want to watch TV, and Schmidt pretends to be a Romney son. Anyhow, here are the best quotes, heavily carried by our oh so lovely Schmidt!
"Friends help friends have meaningless sex"- Schmidt
"You know they have Romney olympics every Summer at the lake house? I bet that's a hoot. It's like the real olympics, only the white people win the sprints"- Schmidt
"You know I can't build a dresser and pleasure a woman at the same time, you know? I'm not god."- Sam
I recently moved to San Francisco and FINALLY have my cable set up (3 technicans from Comcast in a week....ergghh) so I am ready to blog again!
With the Fall season just about in full swing I plan on continuing most of my reviews with a few new ones.
Here is a tentative list.
Gossip Girl
Pretty Little Liars
New Girl
The Mindy Project
Modern Family
30 Rock
Glee
Parks and Recreation
Parenthood
Now that I am going back to school, I won't be able to watch shows live 'cus of late classes =/, but I have my DVR all queued up for reviews late night or early morning.
Pure domination of male vocals this week on Gossip Girl. Something a little different for the show. And OMG, does this song reflect what this show has become now. Literally, I feel like, as a viewer, I am going round and round and round and round in circles. Storyline felt forced. Writers, why you no care about show? Nonetheless, cool song.
Tonight on Gossip Girl Chuck and Bart reunite after years. If only that could cure the strain between them. This played when Andrew the investigator was arrested for working for the man who threatened to kill Bart, Lily, and Chuck. This song poetically portrayed that exact strain. Made me sad, but that's why I loved it.
This week Jess attempts to get over her breakup with Russ, by backsliding with good ole Paul! Schmidt's penis is still broken. Nick is considering moving in with Caroline, and Winston is sporting (horribly) an earring.
Best quotes/moments of tonight's New Girl.
"The economy stinks, bees are dying, today's movies are pretty much all sequels, and my penis is broken"- Schmidt
"I'm gonna be a single old lady flashing people on the subway"- Jess
Paul's crying montage
"If you hurt her I will let myself die and then haunt you"- Cece's Bhabi
This week Kurt and Rachel prepare for their NYATA auditions, the New Direction girls learn that domestic abuse is no joke, and the Puck realizes that he doesn't want to fail out of high school. The songs impressed me this week, mostly because I felt that they did a good job of evoking emotion. Rachel choked on her audition while Kurt rocked it with a risky song, Coach Beast admits that her husband abused her, and while all the glee guys helped Puck, he still couldn't pass his class. Here are the songs of the night.
School's Out (Puck): This was an awesome start to the episode. It was a total Puck song and I was happy to see him do some pure rock. It's not often that he gets to shine on his own.
Cell Block Tango (Tina, Brittany, Sugar, Mercedes, Santana): Close to being my favorite song. This was the girls' misinterpretation of showing how women can be strong enough to leave an abusive relationship, but these women they were portraying were crazies! However, the montage of Beiste was powerful. Seeing her vulnerable and breaking down gave a layer to the song, that I had never thought of--women coming off as strong and powerful (by killing their husbands) but actually scared inside (which is why they killed).
Not The Boy Next Door (Kurt): I enjoyed his dance moves more than the song. BUT that last note was amazing...and it paid off in his NYATA addition. GO Kurt!
Don't Rain On My Parade (Rachel): Well we didn't get to hear the whole song, but I am sure she would have been good. Other than that, this scene was just painful. Rachel never chokes, what???
The Rain in Spain (Puck, Mike, Rory, Finn, Joe, Sam, Blaine, Artie): What was that??? Taking a song from My Fair Lady and turning it into a rock number? What a fun short.
Shake it Out (Tina, Brittany, Sugar, Mercedes, Santana): Now this was my favorite song of the episode. It was beautiful song. It was so simple and it let their voices shine individually.
Cry (Rachel): She belted that one out and I'm so confused as to why she choked for her audition. She never does. It was good, as are most of Rachel's songs. It was sad to discover in this song that Beiste has forgiven her husband for abusing her, but the show is showing the reality of things. Not everyone who wants it gets into their dream school. Not everyone is strong enough to leave a relationship that is hurtful to them.
This week Gossip Girl did it. It brought back some of the first season charm with scheming, decoding, and fun (if your idea of fun, and well who's isn't, is to crash a high class brothel).
So this week, we are led on a chase to figure out what in the heck is going on with Chuck's family. Who's mommy, who's daddy (and we wonder why he is such a deviant?). In that process, Lola convinces Nate to try and take down Diana and Serena (as Gossip Girl). Does anyone remember how Lola was SO over this whole Upper East Side thing? Wasn't that Vanessa too? Oh and Jenny? Lola finally joins the ranks in scheming this week. I don't hate it, I just expected it.
Blair is ready to get back on the horse as Queen Scheme Bee now too. Her first case, cracking Diana's coded day planner to figure out what she is hiding from Chuck, since we know she isn't his mother. Now, all you DAIR fans can read this in hate and all my BLAN fans can rejoice in this little decision of Blair's. I had admittedly lost faith in a reblooming of a Chuck-Blair romance, but I think I am going to hold onto that hope for a little while longer. Blair is good at what she does, so cracking Diana's day planner didn't seem to take much effort.
Meanwhile, Serena is conspiring with Diana in order to get Gossip Girl's phone number from Diana. If Serena stole the day planner back, then Diana would give her the number. Now it is pretty clear that Serena is just depressed as hell these days. She is behind a computer and her hair is back in a ponytail. I feel bad for her, therefore I kind of want her to succeed in going against her friends.
Nonetheless, Serena is caught stealing the day planner and once finding out that they need it to figure out whether JACKASS BASS is Chuck's father she decides to give it back. So they crack the code and figure out where Diana is going to be that evening. Also, Nate and Lola get Gossip Girl to this same place to steal BACK her computer because they knew Serena would be there to help Chuck.
They gang arrives at the location. It is a huge mansion filled with lingerie covered women, booze, and rich men. It is a brothel for rich people. After some snooping, they realize that Diana actually runs the "joint'. They don't know why, but they can't expose her because they have it on camera Nate looking around at the women. The police just might make him out to be a customer. Anyway, most of them believe that this is the end of the story and Diana is just creepy. It is not. But before I reveal that bomb, Serena tries to put out a blast about Diana but discovers her password is invalid. That is when Nate and Lola come out and say they told Gossip Girl that Serena would be here so she could steal back the computer.
THANKS GUYS. SERENA WAS BEING BAD ASS REBEL SECRETIVE DEPRESSED GIRL FOR ONCE AND YOU TOOK HER STORYLINE AWAY. NOW SHE IS GOING TO BE BORING.
So here is the big bomb of the episode, that I am still trying to wrap my head around. Blair walks into a room and discovers someone. After confronting Jackass Bass about this someone, he tells her to stay quiet for everyone's good. She understands that this is too big to keep from Chuck so when they are outside she tells him to go back in when everyone has left the house because there is something he should see.
He goes back. He opens the door. It's Bart Bass.
See you next week folks. Shits about to get really messed up for these Upper East Siders!
Favorite track of tonight's episode of Gossip Girl. With Serena's sad life behind a computer and Chuck going through the worst family history project EVER, I felt like this was ever so appropriate. Kind of a Mantra for some of these characters?
Oh my, how Gossip Girl knows how to pick the songs for their super sexual scenes! Enter the brothel, and I this song made me kind of wish I was there with them...you know...snooping for clues and stuff...
GRADE: A (Guest stars KILLED it)
I will be honest. I wasn't the biggest fan of the last live episode but this one was great. I won't say it was filled with a bunch of great lines, but the random showing up and timing of the guest stars made the show. Here is a list of the guest stars and some of my favorite quotes!
Amy Poehler
Kim Kardashian
Donald Glover
Fred Armisen
Jimmy Fallon
Will Forte
Jon Hamm
Brian Williams
"Unlike the wildfires I've started, this one doesn't sexually arouse me"- Hazel
"12 angry men is ridiculous. 11 decent Americans are persuaded by Jane Fonda's father?"- Jack
"It's the cheese that won WWII."
"I got syphilis from Austin Wells"
"According to Roe v D Wade I have the right to choose"- Jenna
"They used one African and one Causasian because they thought two black people would make people nervous. A rule NBC still follows today"-Kenneth
So much potential for hilarity this week on New Girl but it just didn't hit all the right spots this week! Nick decides to spend his time planting tomatoes and give up on girls, Schmidt gets in a sexident with Cece's roommate after she told him that they can't have sex anymore. Jess looks for the crazy, angry passion in her and Russel's relationship. Winston can't stop yapping about how beautiful his relationship is. Here were the best quotes of the night. Wish I had more, maybe next week will be better!
"You're dating a man I can see myself growing old with. Russel you've got a great face. Your jawline can cut glass."- Nick
"I didn't actually roll my eyes. I just needed to quickly stare at the ceiling."- Russel
*In song*"Russel's alright! Ulee's (sp?) alright! They just seem a little weird. Surrender! Surrender!"- Jess
Ultimate dialogue of the episode:
"Look at my butt! It's going faster than yours"- Nick
GRADE: B- (the underlying "lesson" of Whitney Houston seemed too forced)
This week it seems that The New Directions are having some trouble coming to terms with the end of their high school career nearing by. They are still mourning Whitney Houston's death and Schuester has determined that the reason is because they don't want to "let go" like they have to with their high school lives. Kind of a stretch for a premise if you ask me but here is a bit of a song recap for all you GLEEKS (myself included)!
How Will I Know (Mercedes, Santana, Kurt, Rachel): My favorite song of the episode, because they kept it simple. The potential for the show to take the poppy sound of the Whitney's original and go over the top with it was definitely there (and they're guilty of doing so with past songs) but they toned it down and let the vocals do the work.
I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Brittany): I love seeing Brittany take the stage every now and then. It reminded me of the B.Spears episode when she KILLED IT. Anyways, I also forgot how awesome she is with her dance moves. Can't complain!
So Emotional (Rachel, Santana): I am kind of over hearing Rachel sing. I love her. The song was good. She was right, her and Santana do make a good pair, but I didn't feel like I was missing much anyway.
It's Not Right But It's Okay (Blaine): One of those songs that you really felt the emotion from the character. I think I was going to tear up right there when I heard him. That's something Blaine is good at. You can tell when he sings that he means it. PS: Texting another guy cutesy messages is total emotional cheating Kurt!
I Have Nothing (Kurt): Yes, Kurt apologized through song. Oh so Kurt (and I guess the whole glee club). I like his voice because it is unique and is often overshadowed by powerhouses Mercedes and Rachel. Wasn't crazy about the song, but I appreciate his solos.
My Love Is Your Love (Artie, Mercedes, everyone else): Glee practice is not mandatory, so no one would show up right? Well since everyone is super sad about school ending, they all do show up and close the episode with another group number. It was a nice performance.
GRADE: A- (A glimmering hope that Gossip Girl is NOT going to die)
This week's checklist: Scandal, Scandalous Sex, MORE Scandal. So it was pretty good! Last week a major bomb exploded in Lola accidentally revealing to the whole Upper East Side that Diana was Chuck's mother. What more could be done this week right? WRONG.
It is another crazy week in the Upper East Side, as Dan is invited to a book party where he meets publishers for his second book, Lily manages to void her mother's will, and Ivy gets real with her real father.
After Diana was revealed as Chuck's mother last week, Chuck is still deciding whether he should have a relationship with her. Interestingly enough, all that seems to be on HER mind is banging Nate. Motherly red flag anyone? Well it should be because something doesn't quite add up with Diana. Something is being covered up and it involved Diana, Jack, Nate's grandfather, and an Australian shareholder. It's okay to be confused right about now. I was too.
Meanwhile, Blair discovers that Dan has been getting a lot more press attention than her and decides that something must be done to get her name back on the high brow list. While I was hoping this situation could potentially break of the BLAN romance, I was out of luck. She ends up stealing the spotlight, quite inelegantly, from Dan when he is at the podium to make an "anonymous" donation to the Young Lion's Club. After making a fool of herself, Dan and Blair make up. WOMP WOMP.
Now the real scandal is cooking up in the Rhodes/Van Der Woodsen household. Lily decides to host a family dinner in honor of winning the case against Ivy and she invites Carol, Lola, William, and an unexpected guest, Ivy. Earlier that day, through different lies and instances Serena pieces together that HER dad is also Ivy's dad and that William had an affair with Carol. She tells Lily and Lily can't help but take advantage of it. Throughout the episode Lily has been a Class A B*TCH and money whore (which is why Rufus was not at the dinner) and it really culminates here. Although I gotta say, I liked it. She makes a deal with Ivy to come clean to the police about her and Carol's identity fraud plan so that Lily can get Carol and jail, and to the police in exchange for the information, Ivy gets off free and gets 1 MILLION dollars from Lily. The plan goes through as Carol confesses at the dinner table and the police are behind the wall. Weird part of this situation is that Ivy STILL wants to be a part of the family. She says she will rip up the check just to have a place in Lily's heart. The prude says no and Ivy walks away. STILL RIPPING UP THE MILLION DOLLARS. WHAT?????
Let's end this week with a little bomb again shall we? Remember how Diana is Chuck's mom? Well, actually that's a lie! Elizabeth is still Chuck's mom. I GUESS CHUCK ACTUALLY HAS DADDY ISSUES, BECAUSE GUESS WHO CHUCK'S FATHER IS...
