Captivating

Struggling

[intensional]

failure IS an option and it’s the option i’m choosing. good night.

[peoplealwaysleave-99]

[uhh-im-not-me]

[nissecore]

[bitchycode]

Call now

[lena-zorel]

What tHe FUCK DOES THIS MEAN???

[unlimitedmordredworks]

thanos during the final battle: god i love men.

[imtiredofactingokay]

[racingbarakarts]

[akiraita]

[randomslasher]

I just laughed really hard at this and then thought about how I’d try to explain this kind of absurd collaborative humor to my grandma and realized we have absolutely developed a new language online. 

[pastelparrotlet]

Try stuff. Put plants in your room even if you aren’t the best at caring for them. Attempt that dessert recipe even if it turns out ugly. Listen to that music you’ve been meaning to try for a while. The world is full of infinite sources of goodness and the best thing to do it to try and find as many as possible.

[klubbhead]

Innocent kid dies

Oompa Loompas:

[copperplatescript]

marvel characters who are false advertising

ant-man: he can be ANY SIZE not just ant-sized

cyclops: this fucker has TWO eyes not just one

winter soldier: he is there all year round

wolverine: doesn’t wear a wolverine fursuit. you’d think he was a furry but no he isn’t

[shofarsogood]

Iron Man: suit made out of a gold-titanium alloy

Spider Man: only four limbs, doesn’t shoot web out his butt

[denimsnake]

mr. fantastic: he is awful

[mellebellemethod]

It happens this year folks…

[gattomeows]

[super-metroid]

[valtsv]

catholics be like. guilt… but make it horny

[killowave]

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

im gonna watch dr. who in chronological order by the time period they travel to

[partywithponies]

The worst idea I’ve ever heard, I love it.

[tackminyard]

harry can’t duel

harry can’t duel

harry cannot duel

he only uses expelliarmus and he cannot duel

even if he’s dueling the FUCKING DARK LORD

[quillsand]

Imagine the conversation ministry officials must be having when they see his auror application:

“He’s Harry Potter!”

“I know but that doesn’t change the fact-”

“Harry! Freaking! Potter!”

“We still need him to attend extra duelling lessons-”

“We can’t put Harry Potter in extra duelling lessons!”

“He only ever uses one spell-”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it.”

[coloneltomarry-deactivated20180]

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times. - Bruce Lee

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Harry Potter, the boy who dared to ask, “why study all these other spells if I can get really good at yeeting everyone’s wands out of their hands”

[solarcat]

Harry has seen enough of wizards to know that if you take away their wands, they have no idea how to deal with anything.

[there-is-still-some-liquor-left]

the only adjectives in the english language:

1. tender

2. feral

[littlegreenfag-deactivated20240]

3. horny

[tearlessrain]

for your consideration

[birdtypegirl]

[conquered-gnomes]

Why is Jesus Feral

[birdtypegirl]

- Killed a tree because he was angry that it didn’t give him fruit when it wasn’t fruit season

- Destroyed a bunch of tables and chased the owners with a whip

- Blew up and then acted like he didn’t know nobody (Mark 3:33)

- Yelled at his followers for interrupting his nap to let him know their boat was about to sink

- Healed a blind man by spitting on him

- Explicitly ordered his followers to steal a donkey for him

And that’s just the highlights from Mark.