HAUSTE.

i know you're dying. i can feel it.

[prodigil]

TELL ME ABOUT THE DREAM WHERE we pull the bodies out of the lake, and dress them in warm clothes again.

samuel henry winchester of cw's supernatural rp blog, s1-5 centered. crossover, multiverse, multiship, oc & ship friendly. originally est. 2011 , mun 25+. #prodigil. affiliated with @picksmusic.

RULES | ABOUT (DOSSIER) | TAGS | PLAYLIST | VERSES | PROMO. | PERMA SC. blog roll: @zimwy @wyslyyzr aesthetic sideblog: @occulthuntin

[femharringrove]

sam winchester meme ❅ recurrent themes [1/3]           ↳'There is a concept called body autonomy. It’s generally considered a human right. Bodily autonomy means a person has control over who or what uses their body, for what, and for how long. Its why you can’t be forced to donate blood, tissue, or organs. Even if you are dead. Even if you’d save or improve 20 lives. It’s why someone can’t touch you, have sex with you, or use your body in any way without your continuous consent.’

[prodigil]

sam convinces himself of the necessity of this. teeth tapping molars sends electrical synapses through his brain, the watery and distended vestige of john's voice thrumming about his skull. he gently girds august's bird-bone shoulders, picking off a pill of lint at the seam of his hoodie. ' alright, auggie. you ready for blank rounds? we can set up some, uh, empty soda bottles, and see if you're a real texas ranger. ' the soft air to his intones is meant to alleviate, guide august away from the reality of why sam was refining his ability as a young shootist: there would be a day where he wouldn't be able to protect him, he was sure of it. ' the idea is, you won't ever have to use it. but, i just.. want you safe. '

@soulmissed

[prodigil]

SOURCE.

[skycapt4in]

This was not exactly how he had planned his vacation to go but really that's on him for expecting the universe to agree to give him any sort of break. He's not really looking at the fire, not out of discomfort or anything, more just his brain is focusing on making new plans for the remaining free time he has. Sam's question catches him off guard, as it should do in this bizarre situation and he can't help but stifle a laugh, he fails on hiding an amused smirk as he looks at the ground, and then the fire ahead.

“ Flame grilled steak. ” He isn't even lying. “ Glad I decided to have it for lunch and give myself the option to skip dinner. What about you? Also, this a normal thing for you? ”

[prodigil]

a raucous laugh jams out of sam before he can hold it back, one singular note that flushes up the highs of his cheeks. ' oh, man. that really sucks. ' the drawn comparison to the stinking flesh and cow meat, he means; he's sure the cut of steak itself was vibrant and rich and juicy. sure as hell beat charring bodies, anyway. he always wondered how dean could pound back burgers and minced meat like it was going out of style when their job regularly entailed unearthed gore.

' yeah, i mean.. yeah. it's, uh.. you get used to it. think the first time my old man had me salt and burn a body was... i dunno.. eleven? twelve? something like that. vengeful ghost up by, uh, lake michigan. ' a protruding rib bone folds in on itself. the flames were never hot enough to reduce a corpse to ash, but they did the job. ' probably, just.. a few more minutes. '

[prodigil]

some short fundamental nsfw headcanons since its been uh (looks at blog) six years

sam is a bisexual bottom leaning switch. he likes taking care of women and fem presenting partners by default and assumes a gentle dominant role unless his partner directs into something else (he has no problem subbing for girls), whilst often defaulting to wanting to be taken care of by men and masc presenting partners. part of this is a psychosexual thing about the comfort he's received in his life from men vs. from women but thats a whole different post for a later time.

since he is somewhat of a control freak, he does like dominating his partner and making choices for them if they're into this. he discovered most of this when he and brady were a thing before he was introduced to jessica (and before brady Fell Off in terms of academia, going from a pre med student to drinking and doing drugs regularly). brady was a softie who let sam bully him, and they were on-off partnered.

but, he does love being pampered and adored, especially by men. there is absolutely a big part of sam that wants to be worshipped, despite his absolutely abysmal self esteem. its the only place he can find some kind of reprieve from his own self image. (many years ago, when they were still active, i shipped with my friend's crowley, and man.... having a firmly dominant but loving, grounded top to basically be his demon sugar daddy sure was a life changing experience, in a good way.)

has a relatively big T dick. many years of being on HRT and good genetics will do that.

when he tops, using a harness and toy equally brings him euphoria and dysphoria at times. he loves getting to have his own dick in some way or another, but also there is the niggling fear that because it isn't natal, his partner won't enjoy it as much, which spirals into dysphoric anxiety. they have to give him some indication they're into it to get him to stop focusing on it.

only does anal sex with amab hook ups. sorry. he does do vaginal penetration with an established partner. i think sam is sort of terrified of ending up pregnant for an assortment of reasons, so he generally prefers anal with someone he doesn't intend to spend his life with or if its his first time with his prospective partner. when topping, he'll do whatever his partner wants, it doesn't matter to him.

big hands means big, long fingers. good with his hands. likes watching his partners squirm on them.

cannot be a mean or aggressive top. (can be a mean or aggressive dom if he's bottoming. almost dislocated brady's shoulder once pulling his arm back to hold above his head.)

huuuuuuge monster fucker. like generally very eyebrow waggling at big strong monsters who can throw him around and fuck him. the only exception is anything that reminds him of lucifer, and even then, he has angel ship partners who exist in the same sort of realm he isnt afraid of (cas, gabe).

calls his parts everything under the sun--hole, pussy, cunt, dick, clit. none of it makes him dysphoric.

[prodigil]

@apotheotica

' you know, my mom always told me-- ' a flick of open palmed wrist flicks off some clinging grizzle, demonic in nature (the acerbic waft of sulfur and saltpeter sour in his sinuses), ' that the worst demons were, uh, people. ' sam cards splayed digits through the mess slicking his crown a deep rusty brown, grunting disapprovingly. ' kinda seems like bullshit from where i'm standing. we're, standing. '

[valtsv]

new tarot card "fuck your entire life" and its a guy being attacked by devils and flaming skulls and wild animals and screaming and fire everywhere

[prodigil]

AND THEN MAYBE I COULD BE SAVED. sammy, you're my favorite. better than mother's milk.

ind. sam winchester of cw's supernatural, predominantly s1-5 focused. previously "apparentlyimstubborn", "prodigal--lamb", "finechester", among others. est. 2011. oc, ship, crossover friendly & encouraged. affiliated with @picksmusic. #PRODIGIL.

---- LOOKIT, MOM, NO HANDS, I BUILT THIS SUIT OF ARMOR WITH WOODEN ARMS.

[prodigil]

THIS IS A PERMANENT STARTER CALL. i figured i should just get this up right away, since most of the likes on the old one are from completely dead blogs. by liking this post, you are giving me permission to treat you as i would my best friend, including:

you don't mind being tagged in random starters or having random asks sent to you, you don't mind me spamming you with memes (unlikely to do so but i may send more than one and you're okay with that), you don't mind me dming you whether its for something that made me think of your muse or an idea for us to interact, etcetera. basically its permission to annoy the hell out of you.

i have a lot of interaction anxiety, where i fear i am bothering the people around me, and liking this post helps me circumvent that. i ask that if you do like it, you do not unlike it, as unliking it is rescinding permission to me.

thank you!

[prodigil]

verses page bc it's been 8 years on this blog alone and i never consolidated them in one place.

CANON OR CANON ADJACENT.

V. I WANT OUT. anything set in s1-3, concerning sam's reintroduction to hunting, john's death, the birth of the boy king, and dean's impending fate.

V. THE IALOUS SWAN AYENS HIS DETH THAT SINGETH. anything set in season 4 or 5; the apocalypse is nigh, hell is on earth, and heaven is opening the door.

V. HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW. anything set past season 5, from s6 to s15. this verse will rarely be used, but i do have a soft spot for older sam + domesticity.

V. YOU ALWAYS END UP HERE. an au set in the "end" universe, in which sam succumbs to lucifer's possession; however, this au is set shortly after dean's death. in this au, sam successfully wrestles back lucifer upon killing dean, the act an ultimate mistake on lucifer's end, forever sealing lucifer inside him a la the end of swan song. (or ejecting him and forcing him to live with dying vessels. whichever.)

V. IT'S ALL FIRE AND BRIMSTONE; BABY. an au in which sam accepts his position as the boy king of hell and ascends to the throne after dean's death. whether dean returns or not is dependent on the writer and timeline. generally bases himself out of a missouri based diner; his intent is to kill lucifer once he learns of his existence and plans. boy king sam is not expressly evil, as he avoids harming innocents and wields an iron fist against demons who disobey. he'll flay them blood eagle the same as he will any hunter who wont back off.

CROSSOVERS.

V. MARVEL. upon emergence from mary's womb, sam is marked, like a handful of young mutants before him, as one of ch'thon's future vessels. at six months old, ch'thon kills mary in an effort to prepare sam for his future. not even a week later, the infant sam is abducted by the mutant terrorist raven "mystique" darkholme, and raised by her, as her son, in order to protect him from ch'thon, humans that would hate him, and his own family. in this verse, sam is named sam darkholme, and while raven did not raise him to hate humans, he doesn't trust them. he is indeed still a stanford student on his way to becoming a lawyer. whether the events of supernatural happen or not is determined by the thread, but dean definitely doesnt know him very well in this verse. he was raised to love and embrace his powers, not hate them, and is close with the darkholme children (to some degree, given both rogue and kurt dislike their mother whereas sam does not. he was the only one given totally favorable treatment.)

V. FALLOUT. sam is a former follower of the apocalypse who was infected with a trace amount of FEV at birth. instead of horribly mutating him, the virus granted him his abilities seen in canon. he has an instinctual draw toward the master and finding him.

V. THE LAST OF US. sam was raised by john and, thus, dean, the cordyceps outbreak happening when he is three years old. at fifteen, he runs away from the both of them, joining up with the fireflies only to become disillusioned with them by eighteen. in this verse, sam is a mobile junker for bobby singer's dakota based scrapyard, a location that is heavily fortified and mostly safe, similar to bill's isolated town. sam generally makes trades for bobby and travels to acquire supplies--food, rations, medicine, necessities--whilst trading engine parts, gas, and scrap metal from the yard. (dean, by comparison, is likely a fedra boy. they havent seen each other in years, especially as bobby has no way to 'reach out' to dean.) sam and bobby encounter a 14 year old ellie and joel in the fall of the game, helping them out before getting them on their way. in this verse, lucifer is the leader of a huge band of hunters--lucifer is obviously not his real name, but what he chooses to go by--and, similar to david, indulges in cannibalism and rape. sam is his subject of obsession. (lucifer is also a weirdo who likes the spread of the infection.)

V. DRAGON AGE. sam is a natural force & blood mage. john is a former ferelden soldier who may have died in ostaegar, whereas dean survived. they haven't seen each other in years and dean may have gone on to become a templar after his experiences. everything with azazel is pretty congruent--sam has always been highly at risk of becoming an abomination.

[prodigil]

the pungent, acrid sting of charring flesh barely cracks the surface of sam's relaxed veneer; he shuffles in place, watching the desiccated corpse twist and crumple on itself. ' so, uh.. ' his mouth twitches, night air a cold juxtaposition to the controlled flame. ' what'd you eat for lunch today? '

[prodigil]

updated list of canon divergencies and important headcanons:

my sam is trans and bisexual. there is nothing in text to refute either of these points but just as an fyi.

sam is an ex sex worker who danced to support himself financially after leaving john and dean and before meeting jessica. once he met jessica, he completely stopped, and began his physical transition. he danced while femininely presenting.

while i can see sam beginning to kill alastair to protect dean, i think if dean wanted the satisfaction of killing him himself, he would have simply held him in place instead to let dean perform the killing blow. i cannot see sam as any intentional denier of justice, only if he thought it was necessary (e.g. dean was actively dying and needed to recover).

sam never needed the demon blood to perform, it was more like a fast acting stimulant or steroid. yes, he was manipulated into using by ruby. no, that does not absolve him of behavior or fact that he still did it, but i truly, truly cannot abide demonization of an addiction and i will block you faster than lightning if you act like sam wasn't a victim here.

sam suffers from disordered eating habits and over exercise.

sam is a rape victim, and repeated sexual harassment and assault survivor. i know, ive said this a thousand times, but i have new followers and most of my old following list is totally dead. lucifer explicitly raped sam, he uses the word 'rape' when referring to his interactions with sam, and both jpad and mark pellegrino believe this to be the case (even if mp has said so in a gross, shitty way, like making jokes, compared to jpad who has said at cons he portrays sam that way). like he's literally assaulted by the ghost of constance welch in the pilot episode. the hunters in season 5(?) who hold him down and force his mouth open and try to get him to consume demon blood are analogous to sexual assault, and use language about how much he'll want/like it. etc. becky assaults sam. lucifer openly assaults sam on screen by pretending to be jessica so he can kiss and touch him, not to mention the allusion to rape in the cage is repeated and pointed ('you're my little bitch' in every sense of the term, calling him his 'prison buddy', calling him 'the girl at prom who kept turning [him] down', etc) so does the woman of letters who projects imagery of them having sex to him. hell, even meg's possession of sam was very weird, i just think sam forgave her. don't challenge me on this. if you 'disagree', simply do not follow.

would not have killed emma unless he was backed into a corner with no other choice.

didn't hate benny because of his kitsune friend's death. was uncomfortable with benny because he never knew the 'you're a monster, a vampire' voicemail wasn't actually dean.

[prodigil]

' hi, i'm sorry to bother you-- ' winchester presents an unspooled, falsified FBI badge; the spoofed identifier is nigh impossible to discern from an authentic one, though the image of sam present is clearly outdated by a year or two. ' agent sarwell, i'm here with my partner, agent camp, looking into the unfortunate disappearance of a local woman by the name of stephanie sackhoff. do you mind answering some questions? -- you're not in trouble, and it'll only take a minute of your time. promise. '

@hypenotist

[prodigil]

' oh--come on, you're cheating! '

even as she proclaims a self-satisfied yahtzee, all sam manages is a thud of the open palm upon the precipice of varnished oak, puffing indignant air through the lax part of his lips. ' i saw you flip the damn dice without touching it so you'd score. '

@thcrnypain

[prodigil]

[prodigil]

' i'm okay. dean--dean-- '

insistence is a low whisper through a ball of tissue and blood, inner cheek ripped from molar to canine. sam rolls his jaw with the knot, hawks a milky pink glob of spittle on tire trodden dirt. ' it's still alive. that's more important. ' sam shoves his rifle into dean's arms, creating necessary space through the occupation of it's long barrel. ' it's gonna come back to finish what it started if you let me be the bait. i trust you. '

@picksmusic