Shit my family has said sentence starters.
“Kiss my ass.”
“I got sweat goin’ down the crack of my ass.”
“Oh go to hell.”
“Lady/Sir, I’ve been to hell. I didn’t like how you ran the place so I came back.”
“I am NOT your trained flying monkey.”
“Time to get the bitch boots on.”
“Son of a witch doctor!”
“It’s a good thing I’m not like I was when I was younger. Had I been younger and this pissed off, I’d be in jail for beating a bitch.”
“Money talks, bullshit walks.”
“Are you kidding? I love you but if a psycho was on my ass, I’d throw you in front of me.”
“Just keep in mind: You go to jail, first time’s a bail out, second time is a night or two in jail. third time… well good luck avoiding being Maddog Mama’s/five finger Bob’s bitch.”
“The hell are you laughing about, chuckles?”
“I’m sorry… I’ll help you. Once I stop laughing and can catch my breath and stand up.”
“We’re so broke, if a robber broke into the house, all they’d take is the name brand soda… and the Xbox.”
“So.. I’m supposed to report back at every little detail? Does this mean I need to report in when I need to take my next shit?”
“If you touch me, I WILL bite you.”
“Wait, we have new neighbors? ….. Are they idiots? Because the last TWO were a couple fries short of a happy meal.”
“….. No. You’re not nuts. Just crazy.”
“How loud are you gonna listen to that shit? It’s five O’Clock in the damn morning.”
“Does the Grinch even go to the bathroom?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was enjoying the music.”
“Don’t be bitchy.”
“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t torture you.”
”You just like watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine & Days Of Future Past for Wolverine’s ass.”
“And your hope these days in Teen Wolf is to see Theo shirtless. We’re even.”
“It’s not the same thing as seeing him naked.”
“Something is seriously wrong with you.”
“I swear I was adopted.”
“You’re an asshole.”
