OBSESSED with these so much (x)
YESSSSSSSSSS

izzy's playlists!

Origami Around

⁂

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
we're not kids anymore.
trying on a metaphor
Sweet Seals For You, Always
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
macklin celebrini has autism

ellievsbear

★

roma★
noise dept.
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE
d e v o n

Kaledo Art
almost home
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from Netherlands
seen from Australia
seen from India
seen from Syria

seen from Malaysia

seen from Australia
seen from Brazil
seen from Russia
@professoroakthe2nd
OBSESSED with these so much (x)
YESSSSSSSSSS
this occupies part of my brain 24/7
Sunday! SUNDAY!
S̶̝͊̐Ṵ̸̤̳̈̏̑N̸͙̭̆D̴͍̰̝̔͌̓A̶̰̘̳͑̾Y̴̓̄̇ͅ
(and Saturday):
It’s the 9th annual Dallas Mower Expo! Be therereeerr as the biggest names in mowers, hedgersandclipperssunhedgersandclipperssunhedgersandclipperS̶̝͊̐Ṵ̸̤̳̈̏̑N̸͙̭̆D̴͍̰̝̔͌̓A̶̰̘̳͑̾Y̴̓̄̇ͅ cutting technology!ᵗʰʳᶦˡˡᵗᵒᵗʰᵉᵃʷᵉᶦⁿˢᵖᶦʳᶦⁿᵍˢᵖᵉᶜᵗᵃᶜˡᵉᵒᶠᵗʰᵉˢⁿᵃᵖᵖᵉʳᵖʳᵉᶜᶦˢᶦᵒⁿᵐᵒʷᶦⁿᵍᵗᵉᵃᵐᵉᵃᵗᵍⁿᶦʷᵒᵐⁿᵒᶦˢᶦᶜᵉʳᵖʳᵉᵖᵖᵃⁿˢᵉʰᵗᶠᵒᵉˡᶜᵃᵗᶜᵉᵖˢᵉʰᵗᵒᵗˡˡᶦʳʰᵗ
SEE KING SEE KING SEAKING
OIL PAINTINGS OIL PAINTINGS
SEAKING
DON’T MISS THE DALLAS MOWER EXPOPXE REWOM SALLAD
BE THEEREEEEREEER…REER. REEEEEEE-
happy dallas mower expo sunday everyone
Commission
Hi! I’d like to clarify something about the accreditation of this comic.
It’s by Matthew Inman, and you can find the original comic at his blog, “The Oatmeal”, and I’m posting it below as well.
Reblog if you want to flatten Christian values with the gayroller 2000
reblog to bonk the person you reblogged it from with a hollow cardboard tube
garf :3 💜💙
the full strip
That makes it WORSE
woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again
We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched
Like there is nothing sexier hthan this
Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy
Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy
Once again. Do you think this is the fault of the ships themselves
We Cannot Express The Magnitude of Our Regret For Party Rocking
summer is that u…
Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:
"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead
I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).
So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.
A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:
Her: how can I help you today?
Him: I’m here to get money
Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*
Him: all the information is on the paper
Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper
SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.
Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.
ONE HOUR LATER
Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.
To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”
Her: I am so embarrassed
FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-
Her: I feel so dumb!
FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)
I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.
He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.
So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.
"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."
This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".
@rmilkies
One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.
One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.
My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."
This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.
My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.
This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy
The legendary Cynthia Khan 🥰🔥👊
Just putting this out there to let people know to watch what they post because you can be found and if you think that the government can't do this ...
Well, you better think again!!
Reminder that in 2017 4chan played capture the flag with Shia LaBeouf. Without any kind of a retail store to use for landmarks they got a rough estimate of the flags location from a livestream. They used the position of the sun to narrow it down to a specific time zone, they tracked the flight paths of planes seen flying overhead to further narrow it down. Then someone in the area drove around honking his horn while viewers on the livestream told him if he was getting closer until he found and stole the flag.
oh I didn't realize you used to be a huge piece of shit
now this may surprise some of the audience, but the majority of humans have to survive a phase called "being a teenager" and the results are often catastrophic