Summary - Yunho wants to go out for a little date night after being stuck inside for a week with a bad summer cold
Warnings - dom Yeosang, degrading, mxm, tit fucking, p in v, oral for both genders, kissing, creampie, dacriphyllia,
A/N - it’s harder writing a threesome than you would think…. Anyways this is not proofread. Please let me know what you guys think and why ship next. This took me a really long time and now I have so many rough drafts of this ship. This was also based of an ask from @kepodewers a long time ago (I’m sorry this took so long I hope you love it)
Yunho sighed real big leaning back in his chair satisfied having won another game on Valorant. He unqueued his next round feeling rather bored. He had been home all week sick and now he was feeling it all catch up to him eager to get out for something fun. He woke up groggy and still had a slight sniffle but nonetheless needed to get out of this penthouse. His sigh only gets more exasperated at the sad thought that only you and Yeosang was home. Don’t get him wrong he loves you guys but…he just wants everyone.
He doesn’t dwell on it too long and quickly finds himself roaming the house before finding you two curled up in Yeosang’s bed together. Yunho stares at you guys in the door way for a while pouting waiting for you guys to notice him. Once you see him in the corner of your eye you snap your head towards him startled before giggling.
“What are you doing?” You ask him catching Yeosang’s attention. He turns around looking behind him chuckling at yunho’s antics patting the spot next to him.
“Cmere” he mumbles watching Yunho walk to the spot and lay down next to him.
“You guys just cuddling in here without me?” Yunho asks like that’s the most atrocious thing ever. You giggle at him again nodding.
“Well yes, you were in there playing your games. Are you feeling better?” You ask changing the subject. Yunho nods slinging his arm over Yeosang sandwiching him to you.
“Yea and…I’m ready to get out.” Yunho says simply causing Yeosang to chuckle.
“Is that right? Where at?” He ask looking up at his propped up form.
“Maybe just dinner? With the both of you?” He asks. You and Yeosang look at each other before eagerly nodding.
Before you know it Yeosang is say up on the phone making dinner reservations at yunho’s favorite restaurant, making him full and happy being Yeosang’s goal for the past week. He hangs up sighing.
“We go them but not for another two hours and a half” he informs flopping back down on his back. Yunho nods quietly. He didn’t mind too much. It gave you plenty of time to get ready. Which seems to be the last thought on your mind though when he looks over to you and follow your eyes. You were propped up on your side like him now your eyes racking Yeosang’s naked torso and your freshly manicured finger tracing along his bicep up and down. When Yunho catches on to you he decides to wrack his eyes up and down your body. You were wearing white cotton shorts with a pink tank top that gave him the perfect view of the tops of your breasts that definitely weren’t under a bra. He quickly snapped out of his fantasies when he hears a light smack. Yunho looks between you two before chuckling realizing Yeosang had just smacked your hand away.
“Not now you’ll be too tired for dinner.” He says calling you out uncaring of how embarrassed you get. You whine hiding your face in his pillow now laying on your stomach.
“Oh cmon yeo.” Yunho murmurs reaching over groping your bottom making you whine quietly in the pillow before Yeosang pushes and smacks lightly at his hand now.
“No. After, okay?” He tells him in an asking tone. Yunho just groans lying on his back now too.
“Two and a half hours?” He asks emphasizing how much time you guys have. Yeosang just nods.
“Don’t worry I’ll make up for it after.” He tells you guys scrolling through his phone. You prop yourself up again something seeming to have peeked your interest as you smirk at Yeosang with pink cheeks.
“What are you gonna do to us after?” Yeosang just laughs softly at your question caught off guard. He drops his phone slightly turning his body propped up to your height on one arm and the other moving to your bottom squeezing as Yunho had previously done before his hand trails further and gropes between your thighs.
“What do you need?” He asks in a sultry tone. You head hands lows between your shoulders as you quietly moan biting your lip.
“Oh but I can’t do it.” Yunho speaks up cutting through the sexual tension. Yeosang sighs, smirking and turns to Yunho. Grabbing his hand and making him reach over groping between your thighs with Yeosang’s hand over his making the same movements he was previously doing. You gasp dropping onto the pillow face first arching your back into them. Yunho feels himself instantly chub up inside his sweats feeling your wetness through your shorts. His eyes roam to Yeosang’s body as well. Yeosang hated wearing clothes so times like these all he wore was his mid thigh length shorts made for exercising. It was bad enough having to look at him wear those around the house and man spread but seeing him hard in them was ground breaking. Yunho’s breath hitches and his hips twitch involuntarily. He knew better than to grind up against Yeosang and that he’s not really a bottom- or going to bottom for Yunho anyways. Knowing that though seems to get rewarded though because Yeosang stops guiding Yunho’s hand and moves to his length palming him through his soft sweats. Yunho groans under his breath his voice trembling. At the sounds you lift your head looking and bite your lip at the sight of Yeosang stroking his length through the fabric of his sweats. Yeosang looks over to you and just as you were about reach your hand for his length he stops everything. Taking his hand away from Yunho and pushing his hand so his hands are to his self shaking his head.
“No. See you two get so carried away.” He says and as soon as you were about to argue he shushes you.
“Go start picking out a pretty outfit baby, alright. You have time to do your makeup anyway you like.” He says turning you away.
“Yuyu go shower and freshen up. I don’t want you to start feeling my gloomy and sick again before the reservation.” He sends him away also.
With a pout you go to Mingi’s room to get ready. Him having had his own room he made a little corner for you in there building a vanity for you. You also knew you had some date night dresses in the back of his closet.
Before you guys knew it, it was time and you guys were being say down at a table. You sat in the booth across from them both. You wear wearing a frilly white dress and Yunho was wearing a white t shirt but with a nice blue ish cardigan and blue jeans white Yeosang opted for a white polo and black slacks.
Dinner goes smoothly Yunho getting his social fill and fresh air fill as he decided to sit on the balcony. You guys laughed had good talks and the occasional flirty remarks, and you occasionally playing footsie under the table with one of them.
The walk home from the restaurant was nice. Only a ten minute walk, and the fresh summer breeze was the best smell.
Near the end though you guys could tell Yunho was getting excited for what was to come. Teasingly bumping into you two and kissing your guys cheeks often. He even pinched Yeosang’s bottom at one point causing you both to laugh as Yeosang looked at Yunho as if he had grown another head.
Let’s just say the moment you walked through the front door of the pent house you were blessed. Blessed with Yunho gently cradling the back of your head and crowding you up against the wall smashing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. You whimper against his lips immediately letting your hands roam his solid body tugging his cardigan off. He instantly follows your lead helping you take it off and letting it get lost on the floor for Seonghwa to scold him about later.
From the doorway you hear it click shut and lock again before Yeosang lets out a breathy chuckle.
“You two and insatiable” he mutters walking to you guys his eyes zeroed in on your guys lips, one of his hands caressing yunho’s back and his other caressing your arm lovingly. One you pull away panting he speaks up again.
“C’mon. Bedroom?” He asks softly looking between you two. You nod your head holding both your lovers hands and dragging them back to Yeosang’s bedroom in a speed walk. They both softly laugh at your eagerness even though they’re keeping up right on your heels. You walk in and turn to them needing help unzipping your dress. Yeosang is the one that gently guides you to turn around and slowly unzips your dress. Yunho taking his shoes off now in lightning speed having been too busy pressing you against the wall to take them off at the door.
You instantly smile in satisfaction at the sound of Yeosang’s breath hitching. You always worked extra hard for his praise, his seeming to be the hardest to get (in his head there isn’t a moment he isn’t proud of you he just doesn’t voice it as much as the other members)
You let your dress fall to your ankles biting your lip and turning to Yeosang. You were wearing red lace- two of Yeosang’s favorite things, three counting you- and with a hello kitty pendant in the middle of your bra and panties. The sight of the bling on you makes him immediately harden up as he scans you up and down.
You jump slightly feeling Yunho’s presence behind you now giggling and turning towards him being met with a smug smirk on his lips. You notice he had taken his shirt off and hear Yeosang doing the same behind you now. You push Yunho’s shoulders making him lay back on the bed as you crawl on top of him. Your lips slowly meet his again gently peck his lips over and over again until he finally chases your lips and kisses you deeply his soft warm tongue gliding against yours desperately. He groans bucking his hips up into you. Before you can adjust yourself so you can feel his grinding perfectly Yeosang is not behind you with a firm hand to your hip stopping by your movements and leaning forward unbuttoning yunho’s jeans. You help him and when they’re finally unbuttoned Yunho lifts his hips helping Yeosang slide them off.
Now that they’re both stripped down to only boxers, you crawl up the bed laying against Sangie’s pillows looking at them in anticipation. Yunho follows your movements without a second thought crawling on top of you and Yeosang lays to your side. Your arms reach up hugging around yunho’s neck staring up at him. He admires you for a moment taking in your blushing cheeks and the way your peachy lipstick was faded but smeared around your lips. He always thought it was the cutest thing when that happened. Kissing you stupid was his favorite thing.
Yeosang’s hand comes up to the back of Yunho’s head guiding him to kiss at your neck. As you softly moan and squirm he guides him all the way till he’s at the hem of your panties.
“Yuyu….” You whine needily, your hips twitching towards his mouth. Just as he hooks his fingers in the waistband to slide them off he gets a rough tug on his hair causing him to slightly let out a choked whimper looking up at Yeosang for guidance. Yeosang just looks down at him with a stern glare.
“She’s doing all this to look pretty for you and you’re gonna just ruin it? You’re gonna ruin her lipstick and bare her of her pretty lingerie she put on for you?” He asks again. Yunho crumbles under his glaring expression his mouth opening and then closing not knowing what to say and feeling rather speechless. You guys haven’t been polyamorous long yet so Yunho still wasn’t used to seeing his friend’s dominant side.
Yeosang just tugs on his hair again to get him out of his thoughts grabbing his hand and guiding it to the crotch of your panties. “Pull them to the side.” Is all he says with a sigh. You were looking down at Yunho trying to control your breathing. It was so hot to you every time they would interact in the bedroom knowing they were still getting used to everything.
Yunho pulls them to the side. You gasp as you feel Yunho start to softly kiss your folds and then slit. He moans at the taste the vibrations making your breath get knocked out of your lungs. He starts kissing your slit before he gets lost in the kiss and tastes full blown making out with it and becoming a moaning mess. Your back arches slightly and you gasp out moans as Yunho starts suckling on your clit. Yeosang had both hands in his hair holding his bangs back watching him intensely. Feeling to close to cumming already you close your eyes tightly not able to handle the eyes contact with either of them. You take deep breathes trying to relax and just feel yunho’s mouth.
Your eyes snap open though as you feel a weight on top of your hands. You look up and Yeosang has crawled above the both of you and he was straddling your torso and pinning your hands down under his knees. His hand comes down harshly and smacks across one of your breasts. You whimper and flinch.
“Keep your eyes open slut. You wanted this.” He tells you in a sadistic tone. His hands groping your tits.
“Yes Sangie.” You answer tearfully, nodding your head. It took little to nothing for any of them to make you cry during intimacy. You can see Yeosang tugging his boxers down just enough to let his length spring free. You can feel your stomach do a flip squirming all over Yunho's mouth suddenly feeling very overwhelmed. crying and gasping more as you feel Yunho holding your legs firmly letting you clench them around his face.
You stare down at Yeosang in anticipation and admiration. They both had some of the prettiest cocks you've ever seen. Them and Seonghwa with their pale skin. Yunho was very long and thick- no curve. While Yeosang was slightly upward with a pinky tip. All of them capable fo doing damage to your insides.
Yeosang tugs the cups of your bra down freeing your breasts and positions himself to lay his length between your breasts and squishes them around him. His grains grew in volume as he started fucking his length between them. Your view of him on top of you with his head thrown back your arch your back more and with a broken sob cum all over Yunho's fast paced licks. He groans around you as you cum and Yeosang looks down at you with lust filled eyes keeping his slow paced thrusts between your soft mounds.
Yunho sits up panting, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and slipping his boxers off sitting off to the side slowly stroking himself needing some sort of relief before he has a permeant hard length for the rest of his life.
he wishes he could say it was only the sight of your cute face and teary eyes that got him going but he knew the sight of Yeosang's prominent v-line and veiny pelvis was working him up as well. You two mixed together was a wet dream for him come true. Yeosang was just so controlled Yunho envied him. and his dominance. Yunho envied you. as he scans you and then Yeosang he realizes that whole time Yeosang was watching him.
watching him watch him.
His grip around his cock grows tighter and faster. just as he thought he'd be able to enjoy a show Yeosang climbs off of you and sits on his knees between you and Yunho. He slaps Yunho's hand away from his cock, his slap catching his tip making him softly whimper and wince as he pulls it away from his leaky length.
"You wanna fuck her or should I?" Yeosang asks him with intense eye contact.
In the bedroom he was always so confident in everything he did. Never feels guilty for anything. Always blunt and speaks in a degrading way. Yunho knew he wanted to fuck you. He knew Yeosang knew and just wanted to set him up for deflation when he says yes. Yunho would gladly take that loss though.
"Yes." His voice is hoarse and breathy as he leans down kissing you before flipping you onto your stomach knowing you always favored that position and so it was easier for Yeosang to fuck your mouth.
You follow his guidance laying on your stomach but propping your knees up under you presenting for him as Yeosang throws his pillows aside siting with you between his legs and his length sitting infant of your face. He holds his length running it across your lips. You feel his sticky precum paint your lips. You shamelessly lick your lips kissing his tip looking up at him. He was the roughest with you when it came to blowjobs, so you knew better than to start now before Yunho entered you or else you would run out of air instantly.
Yunho beyond you bites his lip groaning and running his length along your slit and stroking your wetness around him, gently pushing his tip in your entrance. Both you and him let out a moan. you're sounding more pained. He blinks down at you seeing you rest your forehead on Yeosang's thigh while he watches with a smirk his hand in your hair gently stroking.
Yunho- the angel he is- leans over you. "spit ." he softly commands holding his palm out infant of your mouth. You spit shyly before shrugging him away with a whine. He chuckles a small smile reaching his mouth lovingly. He knew you always got shy when they made you do "filthy" things as you would call it.
With his slick palm he strokes himself a little more hoping to make the glide easier. He enters and hears you whimper more but you weren't tensing up anymore so he knew you'd be alright.
He slowly starts moving his hips in and out of you groaning falling forward above you, his elbows on either side of your head. He hears Yeosang chuckle above him his other hand now making it's way into Yunho's hair. Yunho was bigger than you so he knew he was practically in Yeosang's lap as well but as long as he was caressing his hair along with yours moving was not a thought running through his head.
He slowly moves his hips also having to take time to get used to your tightness. You softly whimper and cry under him. He gently shushes you waiting to hear your cries turn to moans before he sits back up to ruin you.
Just as he bottoms out and gently grinds against you he hears it. You quietly moan under him. He keeps going making them raise in volume and then sits up behind you his eyes glued to the way your pussy grips around him and slowly thrusts in and out of you making you arch more, and then seeds up.
Yeosang seeing him finally start a pace his grabs your hair in a makeshift ponytail and guides your mouth to his cock. You lock up his length sloppily before putting his tip and your mouth and sucking as hard as you can while your tongue licks at his slit. Just as pushes your head down Yunho speeds up making you go brain dead. You moan around his length sucking best you can while caressing him with your tongue. You weren’t doing the best job at bobbing your head more so just deep throating him and keeping him there.
Yeosang can see what you're doing and starts tugging up and down on the makeshift pony tail while thrusting his hips groaning and throwing his head back.
Yunho leans over you and in a deep Hoare voice asks you "Feel good, baby?" You're walls tremble around him as you hum "mhm" to him high pitched. He chuckles seeing Yeosang's reaction, breath hitching through clenched teeth as your hum. One of your hands reach up and quickly stroke his length as you suck on his tip going back to caressing his slit with your tongue. Seeing you quicken your pace Yunho also quickens his, his thrusts causing you fall forward onto Yeosang's cock further. You slightly gag but Yeosang doesn't let you pull off, holding you there.
You cry around him feeling close to cumming. Your walls were convulsing around Yunho. he groans going impossibly faster making you try and gas through your nose.
Your eyes clench shut and you see white as you squirt all over Yunho. Yeosang lets you pull off as you cry from the impact of your release. he aims his cock head over your cheek groaning and stroking himself cumming all over your cheek. Yunho falls forward once again covering your body with his as he keeps his consistent pace chasing his orgasm.
Due to the overstimulation you instinctively sink your teeth into Yeosang's hip leaving a bite mark as he winces and arches slightly into it watching Yunho fuck you like an animal, a couple aftershock spurts landing on his pelvis.
Yunho crumbles and grind his length impossibly deeper into you as he finishes inside you with a choked groan.
he stays on top of you panting letting both of your guys after shocks course through. When he immediately feels himself get tired he feels your hand come up and lightly scratch at his scalp with happy sound and giggle you look up at his tired look. he leans down and gives your neck a few more kisses before sitting up and pulling out with a quiet whimper.
Yeosang immediately takes that as his cue to get up and grab a warm wet cloth for the both of you. When he comes back your in the same position with Yunho sitting beside you cupping your cheek slouched down. He would always check up on you so sweetly after sex. Yeosang envied it but couldn't find it in himself to be the least bit sad about it.
He crawls up the bed between your legs, were Yunho previously was and softly wipes at your flower. He hears you whimper and then softly hum. "Feel ok cutie?" Yeosang asks. You nod looking back at him blushing at the nickname. It wasn't often he called you that so you reveled in it when he did. He smiles at the way your eyes immediately brighten up again before turning to Yunho and give him a curious look and hesitantly bring his hand up with the cloth laying over his opened palm.
Yunho's eyes widen at seeing the Kang Yeosang hesitant. Then his cheeks turn a bright shade of red as he realizes what he's asking. He wasn't handing him the cloth. He doesn't say anything and just turns his head to the side and ever so slightly nods. Yeosang bites his lip and wipes at Yunho's messy cock. It was covered in his and your own release.
His cloth covered hand strokes at his half hard cock, cleaning him. Yunho whimpers and clenches his eyes shut praying in his head to not get any harder under any circumstance. Unknowingly to Yunho Yeosang was praying for the same thing at the weight of Yunho's cock in his hand. His eyes with zero shame scan his expressions and body language with lust filled eyes. Once he's finished he pulls away and Yunho tries not to beg for more on the spot. Yeosang tosses the cloth into the hamper ready to cuddle with you and go to bed.
when he turns to you though he just softly chuckles hiding his face being met with you now laying on your back smirking at the both of them, looking between them. Yunho laughs as well immediately curling up next to you and attacking you with kisses and tickles. Yeosang smiles at you guys before turning the light out and laying down on your other side. Nothing else is said between him and Yunho but both of them knew that the other was wanting of the other.
This is my Masterlist of all the fics I’ll be doing based on the top link story. Please enjoy and give all the feedback pleaseee 🙏. It’s all just mainly domestic fluff and smut but like I said based off the first link. If you wanna see what it’s about read that first 😉
Just wanted to let you know, maybe it's just me, but whenever I click on your mafia masterlist, none of the links work. I have to actually search your blog for them.
Thank you for letting me know. To everyone experiencing this I’m sorry I’ve been working with it 😞, it works on my phone though so I never really know till another person tells me. 🥹 I’ll try some more stuff right now. If anyone also knows about this problem I would love some pointers 🙏
Warnings! This is a dead dove fic! Yandere, mafia topics! Killing, Yeosang is crazy in this, stalking, mentions of torture,
Come to be!
Yeosang was always called a strange kid and got picked on growing up. He didn’t think he was strange though. Not till they before they started picking on him at least. It was then that Yeosang’s behavior got “strange”. If everyone wanted him “strange” he could be strange. It got bad when he enrolled in college. He was an adult now but people never grew out of picking on him. He craved power- and in high school he got it, when he finally started gaining muscle and hit back, but now he was in college and things were different, Yeosang was….isolated.
He was at a desk in the classroom when the frog he was dissecting for forensics was slowly becoming one of his most hated lecture “buddies” his hands began to shake due to the wild path his imagination was taking him on. He became almost scared of himself. Scared for his lecture mate and soon his family, his girlfriend, his dog.
His isolation only became worse. Yeosang left college. Got his own house- alone, no pets and did online schooling to become a doctor. What caused him to change to medical training? He didn’t wanna know- or come to terms with it.
Later down the road Yunho found him on the dark web
Mafia!
Yeosang worked as a doctor along side Ateez apart- actually, something he’s never been able to say.
He often does stay back on missions enjoys torturing, ripping out teeth of their enemies, dwelling in the screams rather than the gunshots and the rush of missions. Now of course if Ateez needs all hands on deck Yeosang is more than qualified for such a thing but torturing is what he loves. A sadist by heart.
Yandere!
Loving for Yeosang is hard. His Yandere tendencies are even worse. He can’t love, he can only obsess- is what he tells himself anyways.
However the way Yeosang fights himself all day scared to imagine his lovers in a gruesome way, scared of what he could do to them, crying himself dry and kicking himself bloody for always being to scared of himself to the point he’s scared of his lovers makes him lose his mind. It’s enough to know he’s really capable of loving though (for them anyways) they are always good at reminding Yeosang he’s better than that and he can’t love let go. He has yet to trust himself on that.
With you though. He sees you. He knows you. He’s watched you and it’s under his skin. He feels like he’s apart of you. Like you’re his other half. It makes his skin crawl and makes him even crazier. Like all he’s been fighting for is for nothing. You are his breaking point. It makes him wanna see just how badly he can hurt you sometimes. All of his years that he’s yearned for something he didn’t know, something that’s been missing in his heart that he couldn’t place- couldn’t scratch. It was you, and it makes him wanna rip you to pieces for every little imperfection you have.
Hai!! I really like your mafia ateez series and I wanted to ask how would any of the boys react to reader just being numb? Like no crying, begging, just accepting punishments and obeying them °∆°
Hmmmm this is a good prompt! Thank you for the question! I love answering stuff like this. Anyways. Yes.
!TW! Mentioned self harm, this is still a Yandere mafia AU so please beware of said topics
Hongjoong I believe would be ONE of the firsts to notice. Deep down he would itch to hold you but would feel no remorse for making you feel numb. He would be proud of it. His project and perfect broken down doll. Definitely wouldn’t do anything to help you just giving you praises throughout the day.
Seonghwa would secretly LOVE it but he would say a word about it. Not a peep. Just always by your side for support and to listen. At the end of the day though that’s what Seonghwa also wants. A doll. Not having to listen to your cries about not wanting to be theirs would be such a weight lifted off of him. I imagine he’d become much more clingy.
Yunho although Yunho also wants a doll he would be one to get a little worried for you. Bedroom searches would become more frequent, more body checks “For no reason baby I’m just looking” with an intense gaze not missing a single surface of skin unchecked for bruises or cuts (caused by any of the pair of hands in that house….ANY) He would become more clingy to in the aspect of keeping an eye on you. After all your his in all of Ateez and he wouldn’t trust another member to keep a close enough eye on you.
Yeosang Similar to Hongjoong. He would be rather proud. Seeing you break down so beautifully would mean the world to him. Unlike Hongjoong though he wouldn’t just sit back and dwell on how perfect you are and praise you, he would still rather throw rude remarks your way and tease you, taunt you, try to get under your skin. His eyes boring into your soul looking for any reactions. He could never get bored of it.
San would sit and pout at seeing the spark leave your eyes. Whether it was because he missed the playful, angry, sad, mood swings it was still something and now that your eyes have become dull with nothing he would become sad, miss you and try to talk to you only to feel ignored and overlooked. Once he gets sad from the lack of attention he would distance himself tenfold.
Mingi would be similar to San. He’s rather sensitive on the inside. Seeing the sadness you bring San, the worry you bring Yunho, and the happiness you bring to Hongjoong he wouldn’t know what to feel. He’d become confused and distressed also missing you and distancing himself even avoiding you at all costs. Trying to distract Yunho from you in the meantime
Wooyoung I see getting angry more than anything. His love language is quite literally all the above so seeing you go numb would cause him to get defensive and think of you as ungrateful. Then see what you’re doing to Yunho? He would be furious. He would also give you rude remarks. Deep down it’s all a defensive facade knowing he’s been through similar conditions and seeing you fail to be as strong as him when he feels so weak would be something bad for him to be around.
Jongho would avoid the whole situation at all costs but wanna see you alone. It’s hard to get chances like that with Yunho always fussing over you but he would keep replaying paragraphs he wants to say to you. All varying between yelling at you, punishing you for some sort of reaction, to holding you and trying to sweetly coax it out of you. Jongho was ever a loving lover but what he knew was fighting- violence so sensing a tense situation makes him feel a sort of hatred towards you but just because he wants you to be you
OVERALL this would destroy them to see your spark burn out. Even that ones it made happy (ok maybe not Yeosang) but eventually it will cause problems amongst all of them and seeing each other hurting, they would wanna see you back on track and eventually coax you back to reality and give you back your fight
Warnings! Punishment in the form of spanking, everybody gettin slapped, lowkey reader has a self harm thought, Seonghwa be breakin reader down
I lay there in the middle of Seonghwa’s and Hongjoong’s bed with only Seonghwa in the room sniffling after being practically beaten after not eating for the past two days. After the punishment I was sent off with a fruit tray from the careful hands of Yeosang. It still shocks me everytime he does something nice for me.
Seonghwa had just come back in the room from his shower, giving me a pitying look as he noticed the fruit still hadn't been eaten. It’s not my fault. It's just that it's almost as if my body rejects this place. I'll throw it up, and I hate throwing up.
Seonghwa leans over the bed, still only with a towel wrapped around his waist and his eyes pleading with me from under his wet hair. He reaches up and cups my cheek causing a warm pink blush to wrap around me.
“Why aren't you eating baby?” he asks in a quiet tone searching my face. I just shrug not knowing how to answer him.
“You can tell me.” He sits back up walking to his shared closet and grabbing silky PJ's from a shelf in the walk in closet and gives me a look telling me ‘he's gonna carelessly change in front of me’ my even pinker face now quickly snaps in the opposite direction just as he was loosening his towel. He continues to talk to me.
“Did they punish you down there?" His voice was gentle. Seeing as I'm not answering he continues. “You come to me after every punishment and you still don't talk…” I hear him walk out of the closet and he leans back over me, not on the bed but he's propped up on both his hands on either side of me looking down
“... I think that's the common problem here.."
I look up at him curiously.
"If you could just communicate, I think they would come up with solutions rather than punishments.” As he says that my expression turns offended as I get defensive.
"I have tried-” as I gently argue he just shakes his head getting back up and walking to his side of the bed grabbing a lotion to rub into his hands.
I Huff laying my head back down seeing as he’s not gonna hear me out. I try to keep my angry tears at bay.
"That's not communicating and you know it. You've heard Yunho communicate with you, you've heard Yeosang,Wooyoung, and even me- right now” As he goes on I look up at him. He looks at your pout before huffing frustrated.
“But like now you get too defensive to quickly and fight us on everything." Once Seonghwa says that he sees you shrink back in the pillows guilty. Knowing you feel guilty about the situation tells him enough. It grows quiet between you two before your gentle voice he adores speaks up.
“Do they ever get mad at you for not wanting to punish me like they do?" Seonghwa takes a deep breath in before replying giving you an ‘of course not’ look
“No- never…They respect my boundaries and know my limits." He gets into bed next to you. Fruit tray between you guys but not stopping him from giving your cheek a peck.
“I don't ever want to be the cause of pain inflicted tears." he finishes quietly.
While my stomach does a flip my chest fills with lit up sparks of anger. Seeing them be able to be normal lovers and not stalking creeps makes me mad… Almost jealous? With that thought it only fuels me more. I can never catch a break. I've grown quiet and unable to communicate because my thoughts won't slow down! Before I can even think I lash out. Sitting up now I look at him with a glare.
“What about my limits?! My boundaries?!" he just sighs, turning his face. At his ‘Here we go again look’ I clench my jaw trying to just shut up watching him stand back up. As he stands up I snap more getting up also to quickly stop him, standing in front of him looking up at him.
"you still allow it! Don’t act like you're any better than them!” He scoffs at that.
"I don't act like anything.” He leans down, his voice dropping like never heard before, his expression something never seen before runs. Chill up my spine.
“You're the one who comes running to me after every act up. I never intuited that routine." A whimper escapes my throat as my bottom lip trembles for the 100th time today.
A feeling of unwantedness fills my body. It was my least favorite feeling considering it's not like I can do them any good and leave. Seonghwa knew this and he still made me feel like this. All the anger piles up and tears blur my vision making me braver not seeing his eyes bore into me only feeling them. I feel- I feel- targeted- Before I know it-
Slap
The air feels heavy. I feel…. Relieved? I blink my tears down my face finally clearing my vision. Finally my lungs start working again and I breathe rapidly trying to regain control. My eyes work their way up scanning Seonghwa seeing he's stood back up to full height only for that nauseating feeling to come back when they land in his face. His face that had a red print, turned to the side, and his pursed lips. He looked angry. I don't know if I've ever really seen him angry. He looks back down at me and I just stand there dumbfounded.
my thoughts were running too fast. He was gonna grab Hongjoong. I just knew it. This was gonna be my last day ever saw after hurting his precious Hwa
In the blink of an eye I’m grabbed by the back of my head. I squeak and whimper at the burning sensation to my scalp, but it's quickly muffled as I'm shoved face first into the bed and my arms are forced behind my back painfully a bruising grip. In a panic my legs try to kick out behind me but they are firmly caught between two muscular legs and my skirt is flipped up. For the second time today.
I give up fighting. Saving my breath the best I can while being held against the mattress. While I always expected Seonghwa to grab someone else if he thought I needed punishment, he is a man. I often forget these are grown men I'm surrounded by. Not the college frat boys I'm used to. It was always much different watching their mannerisms give me whiplash. I take a deep breath in trembling not wanting to know how Seonghwa would hit. I feel his hand go up and just as I think it might not come down and we’ll hug and make up a loud crackle fills the room and I whimper and flinch feeling the burn. It was firm and controlled. A part of me always played this moment out in my head. I wished there was an uneasy shake in his hands, but no. I couldn't seem to get under anyone's skin here.
Another smack hits me. I cry and tremble into the sheets. I'm right where I never thought I’d be.
Another smack. Then another and another.
my hair is pulled up. I breathe heavily, finally getting fresh air. Seonghwa talks in a dark tone leaning over me so it goes right to my ear not missing a word.
“What's wrong with you? Huh?” He asks. He sounded mad. I just cry harder, shaking my head.
Another smack. Maybe it was me that was wrong. I'm always so quick to blame everyone else for their wrongness but it's me.
“... M’sorry Hwa.." he hears me mumble in a broken voice. He relaxes his legs, no longer restricting me. He holds you and pulls you up the bed with him hugging you to his chest as you sob.
I didn't know why I was crying so heavily. I've had much longer spankings and much harder ones and I didn't even sob like this after, just whining mainly, But my thoughts were getting in the way. I take deep breaths trying to calm down only to choke on a sob and cry harder. He didn't even make me embarrassingly count every time he hit me. I can only replay his voice over and over asking ‘what's wrong with you’ maybe that's what got to me. Or maybe it was the nickname I had called him that only his loving partners have said. Maybe it was just the fact that the only one that had never hit me did. I started it though…
I wince as I remember the slap. At the time I didn't even realize I had done it, blinded by anger, but now I remember it too well. The hash feeling of his cheek against my hand. I feel him hold me tighter and rock me side to side. Normally I would run off after being punished but the person I normally run to did it. I felt like I was drowning. I clench my eyes tightly breathing in his calming scent trying to let sleep will me away hoping I can permanently sleep like this and have this as my last memory.
It was now night time, Hongjoong walked through the door grinning from ear to ear, having just come back from drinking with Mingi and Jongho down stairs, his eyes landing on Hwa reading a book calmly. He opens his arms wide “Hwa-” “shhh!" he quickly interrupts his happy greeting with a finger to his lips shushing him. Hongjoong's face falls sadly before Hwa points to a sleeping Y/N Hongjoong nods understanding before humming and more calmly walking over and shoving the book out if his hands are laying on top of him tiredly. Seonghwa rolls his eyes, chuckling at his antics, looking down at him and lightly scratching his scalp. Hongjoong looks up at him like he hung the stars.
That is until his eyebrows furrow and he looks startling sober. He sits up looking at him intensely before grabbing his chin roughly and turning his head to the side. He had noticed the small red handprint in the dim lighting.
“What's this? Who did that Hwa?" he asks urgently. Seonghwa just grabs his hand gently and calmly looking back at him.
“Don't worry about it darling me and… Baby just had a little argument” At the word baby he looks over at your sleeping form. Hongjoong’s eyes widened, surprised that you would dare do such a thing.
“What? Hwa no you have to tell me when she does stuff like this, she won't learn unless you punish her-” He was about to go off and rant just before Seonghwa shushed him again this time with a finger to his lips.
“I know." Was all Seonghwa said, sternly to, leaving no room for argument. Hongjoong just looked at him curiously but the other man paid no mind and grabbed his book again carrying off where he left. Hongjoong lays between you two turning his head towards you and looking at your wrist noticing a bruise in the shape of a long dainty hand he’s learned to love,he also remembers vividly not grabbing you by the arm like that earlier that day. Surprised and not knowing what to say, Hongjoong just lays an arm over you and falls asleep.
!Series Masterlist!
NOTES: I hope you all enjoyedddd! <3 I tried writing in first person let me which one you guys prefer pleaseeee
No warnings really just a fluff (well it’s a little angsty. Reader just has a bad day) I wrote a while back that I wanted to post before I post my angsty Seonghwa ff
!This is still a YAN AU!
Tick…..Tick….Tick
You were currently panting laying on your bedroom floor with your legs elevated laying on top of your bed. The unusual position comforted you in a way as you stare at the ceiling listening to the muffled ticks of the analog clock that was newly hung in the hallway right outside your bedroom. It was your reward for being so good after all of Ateez had to leave you here alone all week. They knew not having any clocks hung up for you to keep track of the time caused a lot of distress on you.
Just like now as you zone out silently counting the ticks that go by and try to regain control of your breathing after having had the worst panicked episode- or tantrum as they would have called it- had gotten a hold of you making the corners of your vision turn dark and your tears blur the rest of it as it tightens around your throat. You were laying in the living room doing nothing having had gotten bored of everything else and look over to Nuri your puppy and seeing her just as bored as you, you got up to look around for her toy- her favorite toy and cant find it in the living room… and then you couldn't find it in the kitchen under the table and then not under coffee tables and then not in Jongho’s room or Seonghwa’s room and then not in yunho’s…but past that you were too scared to check any other rooms. So you skip ahead to your room and can’t find it either. You don’t know exactly what triggered it, if maybe it was the fact that your fear to go in a room all alone got in the way of Nuri’s happiness or if it was just the plain fact that you were scared and it was something so simple.
It wasn’t a rule that you couldn’t go in there but it was the unspokenness of it all that made you get cold feet. The way Yeosang would look at you made it a rule in your mind and San has never invited you in the room- the only time you go in anyone else's room was with the nice maid Eunji. The only rule about not going in rooms was don’t go in any of the home offices. There were only two, one for Hongjoong and one for Yunho’s work computer that he used for god knows what.
That's when your search for the toy became more frantic as you look in your bed shaking the comforter and other blankets out messily and then whimper when you can't find it there. You purse your lips tightly trying to keep silent remembering Hongjoong was trying to work.
Remembering that you start to feel way more stupid. You crawl on your bed with large tears falling down your face onto the pillows you push off the bed looking under them crying and choking on your sobs when you can’t find it.- you knew deep down you could just go to his office and knock on the door and ask if he can look in the rooms or even better yet ask Hongjoong if you could ask Seonghwa for help looking for something knowing he was probably just in there enjoying Hongjong's company not actually working on anything.
But you couldn’t- you simply couldn’t. Hongjoong had inflicted the type of fear that makes you want to pee your pants just asking a favor from him- or even making him get up to answer the door for you. They stole you and you're their inconvenience.
That sentence keeps on replaying in your head resurfacing anger that you’ve hidden down long ago triggered by a missing dog toy. You’ve crawled off the bed now crouching down and kneeling trying to look under your dresser to see if he accidently swung it under there but there was nothing. You were just met with the empty pristine clean floor. It causes you to break down laying down on your floor sobbing quietly. You knew you probably looked stupid on the cameras you knew were in this room but couldn’t prove- another thing that angers you, That you can’t just ask about it and that you can’t find them or even worse if it’s just your paranoia getting the worse of you and there really are no cameras, you just feel their eyes on you at all times.
That's what brings you here on the floor finally regaining control of your tears and breath as you zone out on the ceiling. You turn your head towards your bedroom door at the sound of a quiet knock. The door gets pushed open having already been cracked open seeming as I wasn't allowed to be in my room with the door completely shut. I sit up quickly wiping at my face hurriedly looking at who it is.
Seonghwa pokes his head in looking to the bed, his eyes widening as he trails his gaze around my room, taking in the state and then meeting your wide puppy eyes looking up at him. He could tell you’ve been crying immediately with how puffy your face and eyes were and they were a little bloodshot.
“Baby? What happened?” He asks softly, stepping in the room towards you. You stand up keeping your eyes on him trying to think of an answer. What should I say to him?
“I-I lost Nuri’s toy…” You answer, looking at him dumbly. His expression turns amused as he lets a chuckle slip from under his breath. As he stands in front of you now he reaches up caressing your cheeks and cooing at you. You immediately pull back huffing, still angered at all of them. You didn’t want to be but that moment really did just ruin your whole day. His eyes slightly sharpen as you pull away and huff as he reluctantly puts his hand down back at his sides and takes a deep breath. Seeing as you don’t want to talk he doesn’t want to push you knowing it will probably just result in you needing a punishment and he hates to see his baby getting punished. (of course if you needed it you needed it but he knew the fine difference of you needing one and them pushing you to be bad, after all everyone needs alone time sometimes) so with that thought he silently turns on his heels and heads towards your door once more.
“Wait.” Your voice breaks the silence. It sounded panicked. He immediately turns back around looking at you noticing your tears filling your eyes at a fast pace.
“Can you help me look for it?” You cry out quietly. He melts at your voice and requests reaching for your hand watching as your other hand comes up to cover your ugly crying face. Of course it wasn't ugly to him. It was beautiful.
“Yea…” He breathes out holding your hand and looking around your room. “Where do you think Nuri left it?” He asks looking back at you. You shrug your shoulders before taking a deep breath to answer the question that’s put you in this state.
“Can you check the bedrooms?....I-I know it’s not in Yeosang’s but maybe in any of the other rooms?” You ask tearfully. He nods, listening to you in understanding with his eyebrows furrowed. “Ok baby, yea lets go check the rooms.”
He leads you out of the room with his hand that was holding your hand now on your lower back rubbing softly as you try to regain control of your cries. He starts with his and Hongjoong’s room, crouching down just as you had in your room to look under your dresser only now he was looking under their bed and checking all of the expanse of his floor- not having to check his bed with it already being made this morning. You guys walk through the living room to get to the stairway to go to the other rooms. Seonghwa bites his bottom lip keeping a laugh in as he passes a very unaffected Nuri sleeping peacefully on the couch. He looks at the floor composing himself before you guys walk upstairs.
He continued through the bedrooms, it was rather quiet only the sounds of Seonghwa’s thinking hums and your sniffles, he once in a while would let out a dramatic sigh as he crouched down or got back up that made you shyly grin. As you guys reach the end of your journey your sniffles come back ever so slowly seeing as your still empty handed. Your head was down as your eyes glued to the floor not knowing where it could be and trying to think.
“Maybe it is in Yeosang's room… She does seem to like him. Maybe he let her in.” You say quietly. Seonghwa just nods, turning back towards Yeosang’s door, walking ahead of you as you quietly follow waiting just outside the doorway.
When of course. Of course. You see Yeosang popping up from the stairs as he walks up before his eyes land on you. He was slightly flushed from the gym and still in his workout clothes. You quickly look back towards Seonghwa in Yeosang’s room turning your back towards the staircase blushing embarrassed from being caught shifting my weight from side to side awkwardly and nervous. You feel his presence and see it approach from the corner of your eye. As he gets closer you shrink into yourself moving to the side nervously playing with your fingers.
As you move to the side he doesn’t say anything once he sees Seonghwa in his room. He just brushes past you and goes to Seonghwa. You can make out him asking ‘What's going on’ and Seonghwa saying something about Nuri before you hear their voices become hushed and you can’t make out anymore. You look up once you see Seonghwa's shoes with a hopeful expression before he shakes his head. You go back to pouting looking down before Seonghwa lets out a deep sigh.
“Well come on, let's go tell Nuri.” He says heading back downstairs. You quickly glance between him and Yeosang's room not liking the quick decision to tell Nuri but as you see Yeosang picking up a towel and almost make eye contact with him you quickly follow Seonghwa downstairs.
As you enter the living room once more you spot Nuri still in the same spot sleeping. She’ll wake up to the worst news ever. We wake her up as her tail starts to wag, seeing as she has our attention and me and Seonghwa sit on either side of her. She stands up happily looking between us sitting before Seonghwa lays back and grabs her to make eye contact.
“Yah- yah Nuri listen to me…. You're not gonna like this but I have some bad news….” He starts. You can't help but giggle at how Nuri and him are actually having a conversation.
“Your toy Nuri-ya…..” Nuri’s head turns curiously at the word toy. “It’s….It’s gone.” He breaks the news to her. You can’t help but pout knowing the full extent isn't comprehending to her puppy brain but the thought of her eventually missing it or getting nostalgic thoughts of it saddens you. You feel a tug on your heart strings as tears fill your eyes again. It has to be here. You keep thinking. You always kept her toy scraps just so she could still have them but her favorite one has now vanished. Seonghwa sets her back down laying her on his chest wrapping his arm around your shoulders humming sadly rubbing up and down your back as you do the same to Nuri on his chest.
You two lay like this for a while before eventually all your emotions start catching up to you and you get sleepy falling asleep on Seonghwa. You don't know how long you were asleep for but the sound of the front door is what woke you up. Seonghwa puts his phone away, feeling you wake up as his now free hand comes up and caresses your cheek. Nuri was now laying more on you than Seonghwa but still between you guys. However you don’t have time to pet her and coo at her since the moment she sees the rest of the boys walk through the entrance she jumps up to greet them. You smile softly rubbing your belly where her paw had jabbed to jump up. Yunho sets his eyes on you and Seonghwa only barely crouches down to pet Nuri unlike the boys behind him that pick her up and tease her with pets and silly noises. You watch Yunho make his way towards you two.
“Hey sweetheart.”He greets quietly, chuckling as you reach up to rub your puffy eyes. Seonghwa texted him while you were sleeping telling him about the toy and the fit you had in your room so he wasn’t surprised to see your eyes so puffy and your soft cheeks rubbed raw. You answer with a simple and quiet ‘hi’ letting him cuddle up next to you and wrap his arms around you. You let out a slight squeal when he nuzzles his face in your neck, tickling you. You giggle more when you notice Seonghwa flinching next to you, retracting his arms to protect himself as Yunho's hand was poking at his side.
“What's wrong?” He asks Seonghwa with a fake worried expression like he wasn’t just poking his side. You giggle at his antics looking at Seonghwa's expression. He just smirks at him slapping at his hand that tried to poke him some more.Yunho finally surrenders going back to caressing you and hugging you laying all his weight on you as he yawns. You don’t exactly cuddle him back but don’t pull away either as you turn your attention away from him and look back at the door. Mingi and Jongho had gone to the kitchen and Wooyoung and San were still in the entrance playing with Nuri-
“Hey, Sweetheart.” Your thoughts get cut off by Yunho’s voice. You look down seeing him tap his phone screen. Your breath hitches looking between him and his phone screen, You were never allowed on phones before- “It’s ok baby, do you wanna pick out another toy for Nuri?” He asks you gently. You were too caught up in the change of emotions you didn’t even realize what was on his screen. You take it in noticing it was some online sight with ‘dog toys’ being in the search bar. You timidly reach your hand out scrolling through the choices before Yunho grabs your hand making you hold the phone and look. Once you have it in your lightly shaking hands he wraps his arms around your waist watching you scroll with his head on your chest. Once you find the one you show him and he just grabs it pressing the ‘buy now’ button and finishing it.
You feel slightly more cheered up knowing she has a new toy on the way. You made sure to pick out that was the same material of the last one so hopefully it’s loved just as much. A quick thought runs past your mind hoping Seonghwa texted Yunho my situation and he didn’t find out through… cameras. Not wanting to be sad again though you quickly push down the thought and grip Yunho’s shirt inhaling his calming scent. You hope you can cheer up Nuri and that he never has to have all these thoughts you have in this place and that she can freely love everyone and everything here.
In which Yunho your toxic Ceo BF finally knocks sense into himself the hard way after have dated you for almost a whole year now- on a week long business trip in Japan. You as his assistant.
Warnings!MDNI mentions readers boob, mentions sex, still sfw,Yunho is toxic, mentions of cheating, angst themes, reader is selfless
Your and Yunho's relationship has always been a bit....different...
He was a popular CEO amongst many business men in the state. He would always go for models and one night stands with girls that barely remembered his name the next day- and one day he met you!
but it didn't change much...
You were currently with him on a business trip in Japan for a whole week. It was going well the first day, you guys had a short meeting and then settled into the hotel. It was a good night. It was one of the rare moments you got to see Yunho so domestically you two changed into your pj's and you even giggled together while brushing your teeth, looking at each other in the mirror's reflection. Then you two went off to bed together.
That was when things got dramatic.
You sat at the edge of the bed plugging in your phone and checking for the night when Yunho came in, finishing drying his hair with a towel he threw to the corner of the room coming up sitting next to you on the bed. It was quiet but comfortable- well so you thought. (you quickly came to realize it wasn't exactly for him)
You had your head turned towards him admiring him. It was rare that you guys shared a bed together and he looked so soft right now. Maybe if you weren't so greedy or so excited about the situation you wouldn’t have gone and messed it all up.
“You know. You did great today.” Yunho spoke up. You sat there starstruck for a moment. Yunho rarely praises your work, always pushing you to be better.
“Is that so?” you ask breathlessly.
“Yes! The way you kept it professional and I saw how attentive you were with your notes.” Yunho said going on and on. The way he replied made it sound like he thought you were ridiculous for doubting yourself. You felt your heart pick up a pace and the corner of your mouth turn up. You just giggled slightly, turning your head away staring at the floor flustered.
“You did good too.” You murmured shyly. You heard Yunho take a deep breath before it went quiet again. You looked back up meeting his gaze, noticing him looking at your braless chest. You were only wearing a tank top knowing it would get his attention and cause you were going to sleep. It’s a trick you’ve used a couple times and never fails you. However you and Yunho have never crossed the line of intimacy.
“Well, let's rest tonight and get ready for tomorrow.” He said standing up and walking to his side of the bed. You felt your heart start to thrum in your ears as you got under the covers.
Yunho got comfortable on his side next to you facing the wall. He never faced you or cuddled you. You didn’t know why you thought tonight would be any different but you had hope and hope is what keeps people going.
You scooched closer behind Yunho and put your hand on his waist. You felt him tense under you but his breath eventually evened out once again. Seeing he wasn’t rejecting you. You decided to move in closer and ever so slightly tuck your nose into his neck. He still didn’t move an inch. He relaxed under you.
It was a bittersweet moment that made you feel emotional for some reason.
“I know we should rest but….I want this night to last forever so I stay like this with you forever.” You said barely above a whisper. Yunho’s ears even strained to hear it.
“Stop it…” He said. The tone was stern, His breathing was off, and he was tense again. you felt your face go hot and chills spread across your body. Your chest gave a painful pang as you pulled back away from him and buried your face back in your pillow hopefully to disguise the sniffles you were not letting out. You pulled back but you never took your hand off his waist throughout the night.
Yunho ended up staying awake all night. He hadn’t meant for his tone to sound so cold and stern. The loving hand on his waist just felt like it was burning bright through his skin. Your touch was normally something he craved even if you guys never really show affection.
The next morning was fine. Your alarm woke you up and Yunho got up to shower not greeting you but when he got out you ordered room service muffins for you guys and you decided to pretend everything was ok for the sake of you guys sticking together. Yunho seemed less tense after that. You had the schedule for the day. It was a meeting and then lunch after was a conference with the rest of the company team that attended the trip.
It was after that when things went downhill. You had noticed after the conference Yunho was talking to one of your co-workers, his old assistant. You didn’t think too much of it till you and Yunho were walking out to our driver.
“Ugh I’m so ready to go back to the hotel.” You say tiredly.
“Oh yea.” Yunho speaks up. “I forgot to tell you. I got a call getting invited to a trade show. I need to go. But don't worry I talked to /co-workers/name/ and she said she’ll come instead. So you go ahead, I know you're tired.”
You felt yourself saddened at that.
“No it’s ok. I’m your assistant, not her.” You say light heartedly with a chuckle.
“Yea well I think it’s best.” Yunho insisted with a colder tone. He stopped walking and turned his body towards you with his lips pursed into a thin line. You two were now outside in front of the exit with the driver waiting.
“I thought I did good?” You say recalling his words from last night.
“I don’t know Y/N. yea we make a good team but it’s common for schedules to change so just go back to the hotel and get your rest.”
You felt your body heat up with anger. The only thing you could think of as common was Yunho separating ways with you. He put in no effort with you and you were getting tired. Tired of him, tired of your guy’s career separating you two when you were his assistant, Tired of every girl getting in your way that he couldn’t even guess the last names of. You let out a deep sigh trying to keep the tears blurring your vision at bay.
“Oh come on Y/N.” He says drastically at your tears. “Don’t cry right now. It’s not the time”
All you do is just stand there looking at him with your thoughts running before replying.
“You know what? I quit.” You say. Your voice trembles. “I can’t do this Yunho. If me and my job are so replaceable then I might as well just quit as your assistant now. Ever since last night you’ve been avoiding talking to me about everything. Now that's not so professional now is it? You told me at the start of this you could make this work. You told me you know the line between relationship needs and professional needs. But now- now you bring out your own schedule book and you don't need me to answer any calls for your trade shows and who knows why that's!” You stutter out angrily feeling your anger escalate. The moment your ramble went there though Yunho felt his breath hitch. It hitched at the mere thought you could think he would cheat, No his breath hitched because he knew he couldn’t be so reassuring on that topic. He knew it. You knew it.
“Oh jeez don’t be so dramatic.” Yunho said with a slight scoff but his eyes looked like they were pleading with you. “What you said doesn’t make sense. I’m running on a schedule. Just get in the car and we’ll drop you off at the hotel.” By the time he finished his sentences his voice was cracking from how harshly he was talking. I made your whole body recoil and flinch.
You had looked at him like he had grown a second head. At the moment you couldn’t tell yourself why. He has always been like this. Maybe you had just grown too vulnerable and snapped. Maybe it was because you thought getting away and working as a team would be the moment you guys move forward together and now it's the opposite.
You just blinked your tears out of your eyes letting them run down your face while shaking your head in disappointment and turning around to walk to the hotel.
Yunho watched you in defeat muttering his curses under his breath, getting in the car.
It was late at night now.
You decided to just head to bed after a long hot shower. It seemed just as you got to recomposing yourself you broke back down again.
You were so tired.
Yunho always rejected you. You wanna ask yourself why you're with him but you can't even get yourself to think badly of him. Yunho was all you wanted. The only man that could make you happy. Also the only man that can break your heart to tough, it made you think. You suppose this is just where things are right now. You’ve never been in control, it's always whatever Yunho wants. You’ve always been a quiet person preferring to keep quiet than be misunderstood. So why did I let the situation escalate? Is the only thought on your head.
Before you got into this relationship you never had a serious one. You had moved away from home for college and then went into office your junior year. You took it very seriously and didn’t need the distraction of a relationship until one day…. You had no choice. Yunho always took your attention away from anything else that wasn't him.
By now your eyes were puffy and your lids were heavy from sleep. You didn’t care until you heard the bedroom suite door clicking open announcing Yunho’s arrival that you started feeling a little insecure about your red flushed tear streaked cheeks.
Yunho walked in looking extremely tired as well. He didn’t spare you a glance or a hello as he walked in and put his keycard on the desk and walked to the bathroom to change. You quickly wiped your tears off and took a final sniff re-composing yourself while brushing your fingers through your hair. Yunho came back out now in his blue plaid pj pants and his signature white t-shirt. You remained silent as you watched him take off his watch and put it on the night stand then hang his button up and tie.
It wasn’t till he walked to his side of the bed and instead of pulling back the covers he grabbed his pillow and walked to the suite's bedroom door that you got up leaning on back on your elbows now.
“Yunho?” You asked. Yunho flinched at your sweet tone before answering timidly. “What?” He sounded small to you right now.
“Where are you going?” You whispered, scared of his answer. “I-I think im gonna go sleep on the couch tonight.” He said louder and more stern this time.
“Can we talk?” You asked, already knowing the answer. Yunho didn’t talk. He didn’t talk about feelings he didn't even understand himself. You hear him sigh before turning around. He was making that same face he always does when you ask something of him. His lips pursed in a thin line and his eyebrows raised with that distant look in his eyes. Almost as if you were the worst thing to ever happen to him. Someone he would love to get out of his life. You feel your lips form into a deep pout frown-like state.
“What do you need Y/N?”
“Come here.” You say voice cracking.
He seems to think about it before he finally steps closer slowly.
“What?” He repeats. You reach your hand and place it on his that's holding the pillow. “Please come to bed with me.” I beg.
His shoulders heave with a sigh moving his gaze around the room avoiding looking at you.
You quickly cut him off before he can say anything. “Please Yunho? Please, Please, please.” You beg your voice cracking and your vision of him blurring behind your tears. “It’s just a week. I won't say anything. I wont even try to cuddle you-” He begins pulling back from you at your begging. “-I just really need you. You're my favorite person and I need you.”
He’s already back at the bedroom door with his back to you pulling it open and leaving. You put your face back in your pillow just like the previous night except this time your sobbing with no Yunho next to you.
Yunho ended up with another night tossing and turning uncomfortably. The throw blanket is too hot yet not warm enough, he stands up grabbing a water bottle before he finds himself pacing the room. He cant think of anything except you. Only it’s not the good thoughts. He cant get the sound of your begging out of his head and the fact he left you in there crying and begging for him left chills down his neck. He felt sick to his stomach suddenly. It’s never been this bad.
Memories of you keep haunting him.
He remembers how on your flight over to Japan you were so excited and even rested your head on his shoulder and took a nap. You had stars in your eyes when he woke you up. It was the same stars you get when you expect him to do something. He always pushed you away though…
It hits him like a punch in the gut realizing how long he’s gone, turning a blind eye and ignoring your needs. He may have protected you but he never looked out for you.
He’s never been shown love so it was so easy for him to miss it. The only person that does love him unconditionally he left in bed to cry herself to sleep.
It’s the first time he truly admits to himself how much you mean to him. How you're not just his assistant or some girl he can just brush off when she wants something. He feels his chest tighten with pained guilt thinking about how badly he’s treated you.
He looks over at the closed bedroom door knowing he can’t go back in there. Not that he can go back in there but he’s too much of a coward. He wants to really, he does but he can’t get the thought of you laying there crying because of what he’s done. The thought that if he does make up with you but he does it again you’ll leave him.
He remembers how you never fight back. You never raise your voice- until today. you’ve always the best girl for him and take all his flaws- His mood swings, his drunk late night calls, his cold shoulder. You take it all silently- like a good girl.
‘Like a good girl’
The term makes him even more nauseous as he catches himself thinking of you like that. He realizes how toxic he is treating you like a possession, like something to be used and pushed away at his convenience. Not his girlfriend that is perfectly capable of feeling love, pain and fear.
He remembers how you never ask him for anything. No gifts, no dates, no romantic gestures. You go through it all silently just hoping for his attention.
He remembers how you always dress modestly and never try to seduce him with flirty remarks or anything like that. Always blushing and looking away from him when he looks at you too intensely or for too long accidentally.
“Fuck…”
He remembers how innocent you are…
He remembers how you’ve never had a serious boyfriend, how you’ve never had your first kiss, how you're a virgin saving yourself for someone you love.
The memory of your face when he forgot your birthday flashes in his head as well. Your tears were always daggers to his heart. How you pretend everything was normal till the next day he looked at his phone and realized. He remembers how his heart dropped and he felt the color leave his face.
He remembers how you would cook his favorite meal when he came back home drunk. He remembers how he never even told you it was his favorite meal you just knew. And how you would brush his hair back when he vomited. How you would take care of him like a doting wife would to their husband.
He remembers how you would never complain when he would hug other girls or when he’d come home with lipstick stains all over him. Or even when he would be buried in his phone to bust to visit with you texting other girls. You would always snap your head in the other direction when you would accidentally gaze over and see those texts. Yunho never had to fear getting caught. It was you who feared it. Scared he would use it as leverage to leave you for someone else.
He walks over to the couch sitting down
he remembers how you wanted him to be your first kiss.
It was one night after he had taken you on a date and maybe had one to many drinks. You guys went back to his apartment and he caught you staring at him admiring him. It took his breath away. Then you started to lean in. He immediately pushed you away calling you ‘clingy’ when that’s not why he pushed you away. He pushed you away because he’s a piece of shit!... You ended up stumbling and falling into the wall behind you. He can’t get the look of your shocked pained expression out of his head
He buries his head in his hands.
He remembers ever since that night whenever you sit on the couch beside him you would always leave a good distance between you two. You never initiated any touches again. You only interlock your fingers with his when he unknowingly reaches out for you in his sleep.
How you would only lay the gentelest kisses on his cheek when he was too drunk to notice.
He remembers how you would always shy away from him when he’d turn his head in his drunken state trying to get closer. Maybe unknowingly trying to get a kiss on his lips.
He remembers- no he knows he’s never appreciated you. He took you for granted. He would always tell himself he likes girls the opposite of you. Girls that were models, had hookups, they were loud and confident. Girls that would bully you.
He would always go and try to make you mad at him- try and make you angry. Hoping to see a new emotion in you. Thinking he was trying to see your true colors. They weren’t your true colors, they were the ones he tried to wash away. He would always compare you saying things like ‘why can't you be like her’ and ‘did you see that? That’s what I like.’ you would just look down and quietly apologize.
Maybe it was because you knew in the end he wouldn’t leave you. Yunho himself couldn’t say why he didn’t leave you. Maybe you were the one in control this whole time. Perhaps you just had no leverage till this night right now for him to look around and realize you had him wrapped around your finger. Patience got you here. Time is all it took to get Jeong Yunho and you were the only one that always put down the task at hand for him.
Yunho takes deep breath in realizing he was crying that entire time. He frantically wiped at his face before walking to the bedroom door again. He moved quicker now making sure he didn't chicken out. The door creaked into the dark air only seeing you under the covers due to the night light illuminating you. He held his breath to make himself seem lighter or just because he was scared? He didn’t know. He climbed as quietly as possible behind you gently placing his hand on your back and rubbing you till he fell asleep.
Do you think you'll continue any of your mafia series?
Definitely! I currently have one in the works and then I got side tracked with a recently posted Yunho oneshot I randomly got inspiration from…😅 but you can be expecting an update on that one soon!! 💝
Warnings! Mdni,/mentions of sex but no smut here/angst/
A/N I can’t think of any other warnings. Yunho is sad. And I also didn’t check spelling yet sooo please bear with me.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
He remembers how you never fight back. You never raise your voice- until today. you’ve always the best girl for him and take all his flaws- His mood swings, his drunk late night calls, his cold shoulder. You take it all silently- like a good girl.
‘Like a good girl’
The term makes him even more nauseous as he catches himself thinking of you like that. He realizes how toxic he is treating you like a possession, like something to be used and pushed away at his convenience. Not his girlfriend that is perfectly capable of feeling love, pain and fear.
He remembers how you never ask him for anything. No gifts, no dates, no romantic gestures. You go through it all silently just hoping for his attention.
He remembers how you always dress modestly and never try to seduce him with flirty remarks or anything like that. Always blushing and looking away from him when he looks at you too intensely or for too long accidentally.
“Fuck…”
He remembers how innocent you are…
He remembers how you’ve never had a serious boyfriend, how you’ve never had your first kiss, how you're a virgin saving yourself for someone you love.
The memory of your face when he forgot your birthday flashes in his head as well. Your tears were always daggers to his heart. How you pretend everything was normal till the next day he looked at his phone and realized. He remembers how his heart dropped and he felt the color leave his face.
He remembers how you would cook his favorite meal when he came back home drunk. He remembers how he never even told you it was his favorite meal you just knew. And how you would brush his hair back when he vomited. How you would take care of him like a doting wife would to their husband.
He remembers how you would never complain when he would hug other girls or when he’d come home with lipstick stains all over him. Or even when he would be buried in his phone to bust to visit with you texting other girls. You would always snap your head in the other direction when you would accidentally gaze over and see those texts. Yunho never had to fear getting caught. It was you who feared it. Scared he would use it as leverage to leave you for someone else.
He walks over to the couch sitting down
he remembers how you wanted him to be your first kiss.
It was one night after he had taken you on a date and maybe had one to many drinks. You guys went back to his apartment and he caught you staring at him admiring him. It took his breath away. Then you started to lean in. He immediately pushed you away calling you ‘clingy’ when that’s not why he pushed you away. He pushed you away because he’s a piece of shit!... You ended up stumbling and falling into the wall behind you. He can’t get the look of your shocked pained expression out of his head
He buries his head in his hands.
He remembers ever since that night whenever you sit on the couch beside him you would always leave a good distance between you two. You never initiated any touches again. You only interlock your fingers with his when he unknowingly reaches out for you in his sleep.
How you would only lay the gentelest kisses on his cheek when he was too drunk to notice.
He remembers how you would always shy away from him when he’d turn his head in his drunken state trying to get closer. Maybe unknowingly trying to get a kiss on his lips.
He remembers- no he knows he’s never appreciated you. He took you for granted. He would always tell himself he likes girls the opposite of you. Girls that were models, had hookups, they were loud and confident. Girls that would bully you.
He would always go and try to make you mad at him- try and make you angry. Hoping to see a new emotion in you. Thinking he was trying to see your true colors. They weren’t your true colors, they were the ones he tried to wash away. He would always compare you saying things like ‘why can't you be like her’ and ‘did you see that? That’s what I like.’ you would just look down and quietly apologize.
