Prosecutie

They say I’m cute. They have no idea what they’re dealing with.

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I should really get a bonus considering the number of times I have to restrain myself from responding “LOL” to the dumbass requests I get in my email from the public defenders

[prosecutie14]

When I make a very reasonable offer to a case I will win by simply playing the body cam of any one of the three officers on scene, but it includes jail time because this defendant has five prior felonies, has had a gun every time, and run from officers every time, and the public defender says “he’ll do probation.”

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A defense attorney just asked me to dismiss an aggravated assault where the defendant is on four different video angles shooting the victim six times for no apparent reason because the defendant is already serving 20 years for shooting a cop.

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When judge yells at me because I was following the presiding judge’s standing order to transfer a case out of the newly created backlog court to the court where it belongs because we disagree about what the parameters are for the cases supposed to be assigned to this court. I find the standing order quite clear, he just doesn’t like what it says.

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When a guy who had his car window broken compares himself to a rape victim.

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Saying “I’m not resisting,” “I know my rights,” “I respect women,” and “I’m not racist,” are all alike in the sense that when someone says it, about 99% of the time they are straight up lying.

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When I innocuously showed an intern photos of a victim’s bone sticking out of their arm, forgetting that most people need to be prepared to see stuff like that

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Watching body cam from March 16, 2020 where nobody is wearing a mask or social distancing or washing their hands or avoiding touching things or ANYTHING.

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Watching hours of body cam footage to piece together what happened in a case because the officers couldn’t be bothered to write a full report.

[lawschoolruinedme]

When Opposing Counsel Asks If You’re The Secretary

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All. The. Time.

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Me when I talk to a victim that tells me they know all about the court system and then says something completely wrong.

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Me sitting in my office looking at files and answering my phone instead of getting to be in court actually lawyering.

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Me in appearing in court nowadays

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If you think I’m above keeping young women on my jury when I’ve got a hot cop testifying, you would be wrong.

[whitepeopletwitter]

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In my experience, mandatory minimums and sentencing guidelines affect drug crimes more than violent crimes. Prosecutors also have a different calculus when determining how to settle a rape case versus a drug case; I’ve never had to get what I could out of a case to protect a victim from being revictimized in trial with a drug crime. The rest is due to the criminal justice system being a system of humans, and male humans at that.

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Me two weeks before docket call when I still haven’t touched half of my cases even though the last two jury terms I promised myself I wouldn’t wait until the last minute next time.

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When I was in law school in contracts class we were discussing a case where a boyfriend and girlfriend had bought a house and had kids and broken up and tried to use implied contracts instead of divorce law to settle their dispute. My professor asked us why the man in the case didn’t put a ring on it and the the person who answered didn’t say “because he didn’t like it.”

I think about that all the time.