"The Blessing" by The Moody Church Children's Choir
“‘“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26
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"The Blessing" by The Moody Church Children's Choir
“‘“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26
A perfect man does not stumble in his words
Yesterday, God spoke to me through Genesis 20. Abimelech did not seek his own justice. Rather, he extended so much grace to Abraham who deceived him (Gen. 20:9-10, 14-15). In fact, God knows more than what Abimelech has revealed. Maybe that was also one of the reasons God kept him from sinning (Gen. 20:6). God is comforting my heart that he saw how I was being treated unjustly.
Today, the church sermon is about taming the tongue. I still wanted to seek my own justice. I still want to vindicate myself through my own strength. I want to reply to the email and point out how the person is being so double standard and falsely accuse me when she has such awful boundaries. I still am angry. More so, I am shocked that how someone can point her fingers at others when she has not kept the boundaries she accuses others meanwhile she is so much worse by not keeping the most basic boundary in my opinion.
I am still not taming my tongue. I quick to type my frustrations here. Whoever does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man (James 3:2). The sin is so deep within me. “For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our LORD and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. May brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (James 3: 7-12).
Today, my church celebrated the LORD’s supper. God has forgiven all my sins. It is by God’s grace that I am saved and live in the new life in Christ. Who has experienced the most unjust and untruthful accusations? Jesus Christ! If He can pray for all people including those who nailed Him on the cross, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Why, then, I think I have the right not to forgive others.
LORD, please transform my heart and by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, tame my tongue, oh LORD. May I make the right choice by obeying God’s commandments to let it go and let God vindicates.
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.
Yours,
Chrystal
May 3rd, 2020.
May 1st, 2020, I finished studying Genesis 20. It is amazing that Abimelek, a king of a small city near Canaan is more righteous than Abraham. Abraham made the same dreadful mistake as he did in chapter 12. It does not make sense since he has experienced God’s providential protecting care in Egypt (Gen. 12), defeated the kings (Gen. 14), received God’s promises (Gen. 12, 17, 18), boldly interceded for Sodomites (Gen. 18), and witnessed God executing judgement (Gen. 19). Why, then, he still not trusts God would have saved from a city of Gerar, if it indeed was the city where was no fear of God (Gen. 20:11). What an irony that the king and the people in the city are more righteous than Abraham. Abimelek not just cares for himself but he shows deep concern for his people and his kingdom (20: 5). He gives chances for Abraham to explain (v. 9-10). He repays Abraham’s foolishness with generosity (v. 14-15) and he vindicates Abraham’s wife (v. 16). He responded to God’s prompt warning (v. 3) with such a positive attitude. He even admitted he should be blamed partly, “...how have I sinned against you that you have brought on me and my kingdom a great sin?” (v. 9)
However, it was not Abimelek’s righteousness prevent him from sinning. God is always the real hero (v.4, 17-18). God-given illness not only eliminates any possible adultery but does show His divine protection on the impeding covenant child-Isaac. Even when man messes up, God’s promise will never fail. He is omniscient and ominipotent.
God protects Abimelek from sinning against him, fixes the horrific damage would cause by Abraham’s deceitful scheme in order to protect his own life, and is continuously fulfilling the covenant He has established with Abraham.God is Almighty.
How many times does God save me from sin? How many times do I repent the same transgression over and over again? Why am I still the same wicked Chrystal as I was first saved. Why do I struggle the same when people treated me unjustly? Why do I fall into the same pit repetitively? It does not make sense! God has saved me from broken relationships. I have tasted His goodness by receiving His abundant provisions-Graduating from the seminary without any debt! He reconciled the most difficult relationship in my life, from someone who hating her own mother but now adorns her and love her; from disliking herself to praising God for the changes and the new life God has granted her. Why, then, I am still so sinful?
While Abimelek can treat someone who is so ungrateful and cunning with so much grace and generosity, I am so angry at the person who is ungrateful and falsely accuse me when I was actually helping her. Abimelek never said Abraham was not wrong. When he said to Sarah, “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver...before everyone you are vindicated” (v. 16), he showed his disapproval regarding Abraham’s scheme. But he did not repay evil for evil. I feel very ashamed. As God has sent a friend told me two days ago to comfort my heart, without knowing any detail, she said “Forgiving someone does not mean what she/he has done was not wrong. We are not justifying nor clearing up others’ sins, but we know God sees every burdens in our hearts and inequity in the world.” We can choose to forgive because what Christ has done and we are the ambassador of Jesus Christ so that we can imitate His example that set before. God vindicates. He does.
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I cried after studying this chapter. Seeing my own sinfulness, comparing with Abimelek’s act, I have no right to say, “I have absolutely no fault”.
I want to leave the U.S.. I want to go to the place where the gospel is not preached nor heard. I want to live among the people which God has ordained for me to serve. I know for this time, God has called me to stay in the U.S., to finish my degree. How much longer, LORD, do I have to study. LORD, as I feel I lose my hope in You, You brought this chapter to me at this time, telling me that you sees and you know more details than what Abimelek has disclosed (v.6). In responding to his innocence, God has already had a plan-use God’s giving illness to save him from the real disaster.
Heavenly Father, I am exhausted and my shoulders and neck are hurting. Yet LORD, I trust you see everything that in me. Apart from the sins, struggles, and strongholds, you also see the desire to serve You and love You which You have placed in me.
LORD, vindicate me, LORD. Do not let the lies overthrow me. Heavenly Father, please do not haste to rescue me. I need You,Father God, my LORD.
Yours,
Chrystal
May 1st, 2020