This Is A Life

Vegan, cook, lover, eccentric cat lady, believer in the Oxford comma, and generally odd duck.

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Anatomy and perspective are HARD and I am out of practice.

Sketchy Sketchy She-Ra

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THESE ARE ALL OF THE ADORABLES

LOOKIT THE WEE LIL GOBBO

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I doodled a t-rex mermaid putting on lipstick.

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Staring out of our fifth floor apartment windows, across the rooftops, to where a flock of birds is dark against the skyline.

"Look at them. Look at the crows. Look at the crows fly," I turn to my boyfriend and cackle softly yet maniacally. "I want a trained flock of friendly crows.."

He blinks slowly, drinking in my madness.

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I recently was enlightened to the existence of goblincore and as someone who likes rocks, moss, shiny things, curated clutter, and almost exclusively plays as a kobold when rolling D&D characters I must say that I'm definitely VIBING with this hashtag. As is my cat.

[vegan-humor-daily]

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Things average people, such as myself, think:

It's been a while since I last oiled my recorder.

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These might as well be actual pictures of me and my boyfriend.

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Harry Potter house bookmarks! Blank bookmarks and bezels, diamond glaze, and cut outs from a thrifted magic eye book.

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I’ve been using India ink to cover up grease/ink/turmeric stains on clothing. It’s effective and quite relaxing.

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Good to know.

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Don’t Ask What’s In The Couscous

Today I told my boyfriend to "get out of my kitchen" like I normally do, but listening to educational videos about cannibalism while saying it gives that statement much darker undertones than intended.

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Precious little jellybeans.

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A gem found in the foyer of a bank.

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What do you do when the pilot lights are acting up again and the stick lighter is kaput? Creme brulee torch.

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What do you call a pirate spider’s peg leg?

A piece of eight! Yar har har har.

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Piranha Vultures

Whenever food gets sent back virtually untouched at my restaurant it’s free game for the staff. We descend upon it rapidly, our ravenously opportunistic nature knowing no limits when scavenging returned plates. 

Some people pay $14 to Instagram avocado toast.

That’s fine. Take your picture and feed the scraps to the trolls lurking behind the swinging doors to the kitchen cave. We thank you for your frivolous ordering habits.