Thanks @clumsydragon28 and @twnj for this idea!
Okay, so I am notoriously bad at saying how I feel. Whether it be online or in person, I struggle to find words to communicate my ideas, theories and opinions. I grew out of a speech impediment from early childhood, and have even managed to get through four years of graduate study...and I still don't know how to express myself to the world without the fear that I'm misrepresenting myself.
But for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have an outlet for expression: art. Expressing myself through art and digital media has literally freed me from so much internal blockage. Learning the technical elements--values/color theory, gesture, line weight, etc.--and story elements like composition and narrative has given me more ways to communicate than ever before. Things I learned from college (hello Gestalt psychology) are suddenly coming up again, how to organize information and communicate a vision. And for the first time since FOURTH GRADE, I don't feel so ashamed to say that I'm an artist. I see something in my head and I have to tell the world how I see it.
I use to draw my friends and I as Winx Club characters. I would spend lunch periods drawing Pokemon and sharing them with my art buddies in class, and reading the "official" handbooks from the school library. I loved Project Runway and the way designers would translate a vision from paper to showcase. It's no wonder that I would spend so much time in my school's theater department, putting on shows for the stage.
Fast forward to 2019, I hadn't picked up a pencil to draw in years (I had become hyper-focused on academics, getting into a "good" college, etc.). Oddly enough, my academics would lead me back to drawing. I was a cognitive science major, and a significant part of the curriculum was learning the anatomy of the brain, sensory organs, nervous system, etc. I was mapping out bodily systems and functions for tests. At first, I hated it--I didn't see myself as interested in the body that way. But I eventually enjoyed what felt like a new way of communicating through mapping, color coding, annotating, etc.
Okay fast FAST forward to 2023/4. I was sad lol but not for the reasons you think. Truthfully, I felt tired of fandom and didn't know how to revive my love for it. I got back into sewing, debuting two of my cosplays for contests; revisited manga and anime I hadn't interacted with in years like Cardcaptor Sakura and Zatch Bell! I was slowly starting to repair my relationship with media in a way that didn't feel so...consuming. I was beginning to tell stories again. And most importantly, I found a love for characters that made me feel seen. The Akimichis are that to me, and I realized the story I wanted to tell had to feature them.
I started posting again under this current username in June 2024, and I haven't regretted it! I've been having so much fun, sharing my hcs, theories and even venturing into more long-form comics. It's been fun sharing and exchanging ideas with the world, not just taking it all in passively. I'm an INFP Gemini so take that as you will lol. I live in my daydreams but am insatiably curious and have 100 ideas floating on a WIP document. I guess it's all a matter of moving them out of my head and into public spaces.
