Another One Bites The Dad

[tax--payer]

she will not be surviving my wrath

[adastrabbit]

i made your cat get hit by a lightning spell

[chimaeraundying]

a second later. naught remains.

[protobutch]

[threedollarsdotcom]

they invented like 1000000 foods by doing some bullshit to milk

[tempered-grace]

very funny to me that calories is legit just a measure of energy. you can convert it to joules. (4186 joules in one kcal). really drives home the absurdity of diet culture.

[dollgirllandsknecht]

She has over 4 megajoules of energy.

and this little lady is only 4 Calories

[princessdraconic]

dwyer the disgraced taking the podium at the frozen eleum loyce municipal centre press conference. pulling out the bewitched alonne sword from a brown paper bag

[maidthings]

please use a black separation crystal if this offends you

[teathattast]

[segamascott]

this is honestly such a good idea

[fluffiest-fox-kira]

Signal boost.....

[jimbles-archive]

[juniepops]

Girlfriend: "when we have sex tonight can you be normal and not talk like the English dub of a Nintendo Direct"

Me: "of course baby"

Me two hours later: "We hope you're looking forward to scissoring, fingering, and licking your way to an orgasm as soon as this presentation ends. But for now, that's all the time we have"

[nerdy-as-heck]

I saw this and felt like it should be shared here too

[rubaedo]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimes

[yamcha]

[nayohme]

one of my favorites of all time

[frogmoss1]

that’s kamala harris

[only-tiktoks]

[devantnuit-ladeluge]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

[lopkelepke]

[amazoogle]

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on

[angelicguy]

hotdog burst in microwave

[angelicguy]

[ephemeralpool]

[cykelops]

another history making marvel post I never see anyone talk about is “so is nobody helping blade kill all those vampires”

[cykelops]

found it

[cognitohazardous]