Update on Me (Part 1): What’s Been Up With Me Lately~
As you know, I sorta went inactive for a while--- mostly because of things going on personally in my life. I thought maybe I should just.....do a huge mega Update!
As some of you know, I had a lot of stuff that was going on that I needed to take care of myself-- mentioned in this post. Which I have!! Trying at least. Things have been getting better!
My Closest Friends who were struggling with their own Mental Health have gotten much better and have started taking care of themselves--- all of them! Much much better, and I’m proud of all of them. However, now that I don’t need to help take care of them anymore to the extent I had in the past, they’re all saying it’s time to Focus on me since I need to learn how to take care of myself--
And boy, do I not know how to not stress out on things. In the meanwhile, I started going to a Friend’s Church (They’re Latter Day Saints) and got Baptized and Chit--- mostly because of two Reasons: 1) I’ve been friends with her and the family for 10 Years and I knew it’d make them happy, so Why not? It doesn’t really hurt me or anything. 2) I needed to get out of the house on a regular schedule so that I can work on kicking PTSD in the butt. Are they my believes? Hell Nah. I will say, they’re Interesting for a Christian Faith-- like, believing in a Mother God? They actually believe in Psychic Abilities (but they call it under different names-- “Gifts of the Holy Spirit/Ghost.”) It’s been wild--- although, I still do not like organized religion for myself personally. I just really wanted to make the family happy (and I know I’ll become an “inactive” once I move, but oh well), and I met some nice people there. My friends are on the Chill and Casual end of it. I’ll ditch a lot of times if there’s subjects I don’t agree with or I’ll argue with people on things I find wrong (straight up cried at one point). Is this really healthy or helpful to me? Meh, it’s just a short stop before I continue on. It’s really weird to listen to things and think, “ :) It doesn’t work like that though,” and just keeping silent.
Oh!!! I told my Friend of 10 Years about being Psychic!! I told her brother by Accident, who then encouraged me to tell her, and I did, and it was all well received! That was how I found out they actually believed in this stuff??? Now I make Side Glances to my Friends when something is said because now I can be like, “Yeah, that’s not a real thing. :) “ and it’s so weird to actually include them in on things. As you can see, I’m completely getting off track.
Anyways--- I’ve been silent and not responding much because I have to take care of myself. Which I’ve done so far, I think, but still much to improve.
So last year in Late Fall, I decided to get a reading done at the Spiritual Shop that I always go to in Southern California. My Family and I always talk to the same lady there now--- I’ll call her Psychic Lady V. It’s been a while since I had the reading, but I think I remember enough of it.
There’s a Few things That She Told me That I just found Interesting in General:
- I have such a Strong Connection with Nature and Animals (true) that either I’m just Spiritually in Tuned with Nature, or I could have Possibly been a Faerie/Fey in a Previous Life/World? I forgot how she worded it specifically, but that threw me for a loop.
- My Perception of Time is weird because I’m Aware of being in the 5th Dimension and that we sorta had a Jump-Speed in our Time? She said we’re all feeling it (meaning that feeling of, “Ugh, Life is just moving too fast!!” because our Dimension decided to drink three 5 Energy Drinks in one go) I’m hyper aware of this so that’s why I’m constantly like, “I don’t have enough time. Everything is Fake, and it feels like 5 hours passed instead of 5 minutes.”
- I”m part of a Generation (I’m 22 years old, so~) that is becoming Hyper Aware and Super Sensitive of our World
- I’m going to become a Teacher--- continue to get my Masters and Ph.D (God Damn it I really wanted to avoid school in every sense, but eh, Life be like that). And the only Reason why I don’t like School is because I get bored easily (Called Out, I was).
- I’m a Healer and a Teacher in a Spiritual and Physical Sense. My abilities are actually pretty hella strong-- and I’m not into that New Age stuff and I like more Traditional, Old Fashioned things because of how advanced I am?? Which I guess makes sense.
- I’m going to Marry? A Police Officer? And supposedly will help him out with Solving Cases and stuff?? Wild. At least that helps ease my terrifying dream I had when I was a kid (I had a dream of my Husband calling my Daughter and me crazy and stuff--- glad to know that won’t actually happen then)
- Other things include that I am surrounded by wonderful friends. I enjoy learning, I’m going to be fine with Money, and So on and so forth.
What really caught my attention (and was a wake up call) was my Life Line. She said she noticed that it’s shallow and thinned compared to my “Past” Lifeline (other hand). She said she’s afraid for my Mental Health, like, I’m just about ready to break--- that’s how bad I actually am. She said that this is a time to heal myself and work on being careful with my Energies.
She told me that I need to not fix everyone’s life for them and let them live their charts (because I’ve developed a, “Let me help you fix it!” attitude). She said I need to work on my Empathic abilities to, like, Tame them--- I just pick up on everything in a Snap and it’s stressing me badly. I can still give advice, but I can’t take on anything anymore-- for right now at least. Pretty Much: I need to really take care of myself.
Like, Wake Up Call. Thing is, I always knew it. I started having Melt-Downs when I got overwhelmed with emotions. (I’m ashamed to say hysterical-- not that it’s shameful to feel that way, but I’m ashamed that I knew better and still let myself get like this).
Welp! Self care! Pretty much I’m learning how to let things go, stop trying to take on other people’s problems, and just allow myself to calm down and relax. I’m trying to learn on how to rely on other people.
I wanna talk about my Own Stuff again like I used to on this blog. I let it turn into something for Other people rather than Myself. It was my Personal Space, but it’s really not anymore. I wanna sorta try and reclaim it.
I wanna focus on me right now, I guess. Work on my own Spiritual Growth rather than to help others with theirs. (I’ll still give advice and help-- but I’m not going to bend over backwards to give everyone the answers they need like I used to Do ). But this is why I’m putting readings on a Hold and why I am not rushing to respond to everyone.
I seriously need to take care of myself
So, Hopefully, I’ll be on the right track!