only the good die young

NOAH E. PUCKERMAN reformed sex shark. don't call me noah. “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day.” - sinatra

[puckermannoahhh]

TEXT → OPEN

Oliver: What is proper date attire in your opinion? Is that even a thing? Am I just overthinking it as always? You don't need to actually answer that last question, I already know the answer.

Puck: you could try just showing up naked but my lawyer informed me that could end badly

Puck: what kinda chick is it? a baddy? a goodie2shoes? a hottie out of your league? i need deets

[puckermannoahhh]

stacecase​:

**

Stacey’s head shoots up, her face the picture of surprise – first at Puck’s presence because where did he come from and then to find she’s standing at the front of the line. Oops. How long had she been counting? She turns to look over her shoulder, offering an apologetic smile to anyone she might have been holding up before turning back to Puck, starring at him for a moment longer than strictly necessary before turning her attention to the barista with that same apologetic smile. She’d only brought enough for medium coffee (or she’d meant to, anyway), living on a budget meant making sacrifices, but since Puck was paying…

“Double mocha latte, extra whip,” she orders, and it’s sure to put an extra spring in her step. Nothing like a caffeinated sugar rush to start your day off right! And now she doesn’t have to worry about breakfast. Double score! 

Still she insists, “I totally had it under control,” as they step to the side and wait for their drinks. “But thanks. Even though I’m pretty sure the pouting trick only works on you.” And her parents. And her siblings. Or the bartender at Trouble Tones that always uses a heavy hand when pouring Stacey’s drinks – but Puck is by far her favorite person to have wrapped around her finger. A sentiment that rang especially true back in middle school when she’d been sure the two of them would get married some day. What can she say? Puck was her Zac Efron. 

(Though if it came down to a choice between Puck and Harry Styles, she’d still choose Harry every time.)

“Thanks,” she finally says, managing to look a little sheepish that she hadn’t said it sooner.

His coffee is ready much sooner than hers and he swipes it off the counter without much more than a nod to the boy who called his name, thankful for the bitter taste on his lips as he leans lazily against the edge of the counter. “If it works on me, I’ll bet it works on a good amount of others, even if its just some dumbass dudes who’ll get you a free pizza or somethin’.” 

Puck shakes his head slightly, amusement written over his features. “You’re good.” He adds easily, a crooked smile spreading on his cheeks. “Happy to buy you coffee, even when it’s some fruity bullshit.” His eyebrows flick up in a light motion to show his joking, even if it’s pretty obvious, at least with her, that he never had any intention of being genuinely mean. 

“Gives me the excuse to bother you too— new jobs taken up just enough of my time that everyone’s gotten a break from my dumbass.” He nods towards the tables. “You got time to kill some time with me or you gotta run off to save some itty bitty lives?” 

[puckermannoahhh]

lennonjfabray​:

You’re pretty enough to skirt on by without needing to know a thing. Just smile and nod next time, alrigth? That’s an enticing invitation. And what are you gonna gift me for all eight days? They better be good, otherwise you’ll be on my naughty list.

I’m the goddamn proof that looks are all you need to succeed. I should write a book. 

Would it be bad to be on that list? All signs are pointing to no, sweets. 

[puckermannoahhh]

💬 max

MAX: you know i can only trust you as far as i can throw you, puck

MAX: luckily, i'm pretty strong

MAX: hey, next time you go out for drinks invite me if not just so i can stop you from fucking up your contacts

PUCK: hell yeah chuck me into the ocean

PUCK: i would but that backfires cos the ladies go to you and i'm left blue balled and a lil insecure

[puckermannoahhh]

💬 marley

MARLS: Good.

MARLS: Dear Sweet Pea.

PUCK: what's that about?

PUCK: i kno i could google it but

PUCK: you explain stuff better

[puckermannoahhh]

lexiewilde​:

Okay, maybe it’s not a downside for most people, but I don’t do guys.. so it’s a little awkward. They pose as this really cute girl, and then their bf messages you back talking about threesomes and crap. It’s like, no.. I just want to talk to cute girls, you know?

A whole ass dude when you’re expecting a cutie is traumatizing, I feel that. 

[puckermannoahhh]

💬 puck & mercedes

MERCEDES: As true as that statement is, I have a name.

MERCEDES: Use it.

PUCK: wheres the fun in that tho

[puckermannoahhh]

reagantherose​:

I’m not on Tinder, so.. you definitely haven’t seen me. 

Well that’s just a damn shame ain’t it?

[puckermannoahhh]

callmestevieevans​:

You? No. I refuse to believe you got a reaction like that. :)

Well good then, that’s… economical.

Pretty sure it was an app for lady lovers, but still doesn’t explain how someone could resist the Puckster. 

[puckermannoahhh]

lennonjfabray​:

I mean yeah, besides time off from work, mistletoe is a good catalyst for some. 

I had to look that word up, but it can be a great catalyst for a lotta things. But you should see us get down at Hanukkah. There’s no sugarplums but there’s some good ass tidings.

[puckermannoahhh]

lennonjfabray​:

Is it just me or is anyone else wanting it to be the holiday season already? It might have to do with the fact that the beginning of the school year is quickly approaching, but I’m already looking for a break. 

Mistletoe is some good shit. 

[puckermannoahhh]

lexiewilde​:

Maybe if you’re seeing the same people over and over again, you could try another app? I don’t know, I use Bumble, but that’s because Tinder is full of couples trying to have a threesome.

You say that like that’s a downside. 

If you’re on Bumble, maybe I’ll check it out, but it also sounds like an app that’d be on iCarly or something. 

[puckermannoahhh]

💬

Evan: You’re obviously in love with me. What else could it be?

Puck: the fact that my contact lists really be lookin like a keyboard smash honestly

[puckermannoahhh]

💬 Freddie

FREDDIE: ...not typically

FREDDIE: but when you know a super, awesome waiter it can sometimes help

FREDDIE: watcha craving, my dude?

PUCK: u ever had a blue hawaiian

PUCK: its like havin sex on the beach with a sweet lady water goddess

[puckermannoahhh]

💬

LEIA: is this because i gave you extra fries? i told you it was no big deal.

PUCK: fries are really the way to my heart tho

[puckermannoahhh]

💬 puck & mercedes

MERCEDES: Boy, you best fix that. You outta of your damn mind if you think for one second anything had happened between us.

PUCK: ill just change it to

PUCK: hottie who could beat my ass

PUCK: 👀

[puckermannoahhh]

stacecase​:

STACEY EVANS && OPEN

One fifty. One seventy-five. Two dollars. 

Stacey frowns, eyebrows furrow and frustration settles in the pit of her stomach. She’s short fifty cents for her morning caffeine hit which is like totally impossible because she definitely double checked before she left the house…. She thinks. Dolly had been all kinds of distracting that morning demanding affection in the form of pets and undivided attention, but surely she grabbed enough change. 

She counts again. One fifty. One seventy-five. Two dollars.

“Crap,” it’s more a whine than anything – she can’t be mad, counting isn’t her strong suit. She’s so focussed on the change in the palm of her hand she doesn’t notice she’s at the front of the line as she starts the count again. Third time is totally the charm, right?

Puck used to roll out of bed and be ready to sprint a good few miles. But as he got older, and years of smoking and partying caught up to him, he started needing a little help. The coffee shop was a good place to pick up girls, and they had a damn good espresso. He’s zoned out on his phone as he walks inside, standing in line for a good while without taking in anything about his surroundings until he hears a peep that’s a bit familiar. 

He glances up, feeling a little bit of his ‘don’t talk to me before I’ve had my morning coffee’ attitude fade. Puck replaces his phone in his pocket as he digs out his wallet, tugging out a few bills and leaning around the girl. “Hey bud. Red eye and whatever the lady’s havin’.” He flashes a grin at the barista, and doesn’t care to see if it’s received well as he drops the cash on the table. 

“Put that chump change away lil’ Evs.” He says with a soft laugh, keeping as much mocking as he can out of his voice. Puck is an asshole, by every means, but the Evans family always had a soft spot in his heart, for whatever reason. Could probably be boiled down to blondes with big ass smiles, but Puck’s never been one to get to the bottom of things. “Ya know, you’re just wasting money. Give a good pout and anyone of ‘em would give you free coffee.” 

He taps a friendly hand on her lower back, nudging them out of the way of the counter so the line could keep moving, replacing it at his side in a feat of boundary that was probably unique to Stace. She was probably one of a handful girls in town he’d never taken a pass at. It really wasn’t that she wasn’t cute, he just had always seen her a little differently.