goddess

please give me attention

[vilea777]

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

[ozth]

found this three year old draft buried in my files. is it funny? I don't remember

[worthless-mess]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[sleepnoises]

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

[maykitz]

biggest L i've had to take from morning people is that the hours between 5 - 9 am really do have 7x as much time in them than the ones between 9 pm - 1 am and you can get your whole day's worth of shit done by noon

[rilianedautriche]

compilation of texts my mom has sent me when my cat is wailing outside my room and i haven’t opened the door for her yet

[rilianedautriche]

[rilianedautriche]

[rilianedautriche]

[rilianedautriche]

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Sapphics who don't like fat girls are so weird to me. You're supposed to like girl. Why wouldn't you want more girl per girl

[underwhelmingalchemist]

I have faith this post will be seen by exactly who it needs to

[edgebug]

need a bi4bi t4t m/f pairing where the girl is a giant freak and not in the "cute manic pixie" way but in the "unethical experiments in my fucked up laboratory" way and the guy is a golden retriever who thinks he can fix her. and he brings her cute bento lunches and she's like "bradley shut up put on your fucking gloves and hold this possum down so i can graft these giant grasshopper legs to it"

[edgebug]

your brain is unfathomably colossal

[leonsdearest]

me double checking that the ask i’m sending isn’t going to contain my ip address and a photo of my own ass that i never took

[imarson404]

My sociology booklet has the makings of a great tumblr post

[avioletmoonrise]

every now and then I am reminded to my great chagrin that my mother is funnier than I am

[swantonbomb]

lesbian masculinity is literally one of the hottest and most attractive things in the world sorry.

[thequeervampiric]

love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of

[shadow-von-vamp]

reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared

[queercoded-disney-villain]

A customer asked for pickles on their sub and I (dumbass) reached for the cucumbers. They quickly went “oh, no, I want pickles!” and I immediately said “they could’ve been pickles. in another life” ????? Why did I get hired????????

[lockandkeyhyena]

actually we should start headcanoning female characters as being terrible with children

[lockandkeyhyena]

stop mother-ifying fictional literally all female characters. that fictional woman would not know what the fuck to do with a child

[syn4k]

i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive