Diagnosed with BPD - OCD - CPTSD - ASPD -

25 she/her

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You say you love the rain, but open an umbrella. You say you love the sun but you find a shady spot. You say you love the wind but close your windows when it blows. That’s why I’m afraid when you say you love me.

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You're cool, have a good day/night, love the blog (: ♡

Aw thank you much appreciated:)

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Hi, I think I might have bpd, or some sort of mood disorder, but I'm kinda worried that I'm just catastrophising, like, maybe there is nothing wrong with me.

But I've been struggling to sleep, eat, do shit I enjoy

It's like I get one step forwards and go two steps back.

Every time I get "better" I get worse after that

How do I fix myself

How do I stop being a broken toy, a broken cog in the machine that is life?

Your probably right that’s there’s nothing wrong with you but if you are feeling like that or that you might have some disorder then it doesn’t hurt to get an assessment done, that’s just a psychiatrist talking you and you answering questions that fit a disorder and you won’t get admitted in a psychiatric ward I promise. You’d just get diagnosed.

But I get that I really do, I feel that way all the time but try not to think of it too much, I try to stay positive and plan for tomorrow of what I can do better or work on.

Find something you enjoy doing or something that helps you.

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How do you deal with feelings of emptiness? Since this is a bpd blog, I thought you might be able to help but if not don't worry about it

I smoke a lot of weed to help me. I go for walks “used to” or hangout with my sister. My sister is my person I go to like the first person I think of when I’m feeling low and can’t function.

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Just end it all already hoe

Ya? Make me cunt. I’d like to see you try

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Recently found this blog. I had a drepressive psychotic episode and lost a whole group. At first I was okay with them leaving because I fell apart but then the second half of the situation started. In which they began to use my episode against me to hurt me.

They made fun of me a lot for not moving on. Which of course hurts more. My brain is fried and I lost my identity and all they keep doing is calling me the unacceptable one.

Your blog felt like my pain was being seen.

Sorry for the late response. I understand how that feels I do, no one liked being around me cause I was “too much” and “too angry”. I’m glad though that I can at least make one person feel seen with how our brains are wired, you’re not alone and I’m always here to talk or vent or just to listen. This stuff isn’t easy to go through alone. And they don’t know what they lost, I don’t even know you but your a good person with a good heart, who feels everything so deeply, you just have to find the right group and they will accept you for who you are🫶🏼

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you are an amazing person w a brilliant personality who deserves love have a hug <3

Sorry for the late response but thank you so much it’s appreciated more than you know. Xoxo

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no need to answer this IF YOU DONT WANT but what do you think caused your c-ptsd? or just generally your mental disorders.

hope you are having a great day and i apologise if you find the question too personal!!

The abusive relationships I was in. Not just from one relationship but all of them. Physically getting hurt and punched in the face. And then the relationship with my mom, her always assuming that “I need help” and her always and I mean always putting me in psych wards and getting me re evaluated and having my family do interventions on me constantly. Also the death of my dad at a young age. Learning how to deal with it on my own cause after he died everyone moved out the house and my mom ran off with her boyfriend to Saskatchewan and leaving 15 year old me with my 17 year old sister at home and having her pay for the rent while she’s gone and taking care of me. But shortly after she moved and my other sister moved and both my brothers. I couldn’t stay with them cause I was seen as “too much to handle” so psych wards were my new home.

So I think that’s where it all came from. And being SA and touched as a kid but the cops didn’t believe me and cfs being involved.

Sorry for the late, late response, it wasn’t too personal I promise. Hope you’re having a good day or evening or night.

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