--- DON'T BE SHIT ---

Ed. 22. London. he/they. Biochemist. Saxophonist.. I like a really weird mix of things...

[queenstravelingdarling]

At this point, how this year is going...

[fuchsiacanid]

[catalinagatita-deactivated20240]

She’s got the right idea and she’s trying her best.

[cookies-n-chaos-deactivated2022]

This is so fucking cute!

[stunningpicture]

Moving out of the apartment

[cecilyjeanne]

This is, without a doubt, the saddest photo I have ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE.

[synebluetoo]

STORY TIME!

So in undergrad, my bestie lived in a true shithole of an apartment. When he moved in, he threw a housewarming party and brought out a bunch of washable markers and let us all draw on the walls. Being a tribe of feral assholes, we started competing to see who could draw the most obnoxious/offensive things. IIRC, there was George Bush frenching Ronald Regan, a skeleton with tits, some very rude portraits of the pope, etc etc.

now one of our friends who I hope to god has gone to therapy since then shut himself up in the walk in closet and painted the entire back of the door. He wouldn’t let anyone see it til he was done, and guys, I had nightmares about it. He’d driven a lovecraftian monster like you wouldn’t believe. It had eyes where it shouldn’t have eyes, teeth where it shouldn’t have teeth, and no matter where you stood it looked at you. We were all suitably impressed and horrified.

Anyway four years later bestie moves out and repaints the entire apartment.

Years and years later, I was talking to him and brought up the closet door monster. he visibly paled and confessed “oh god, I forgot to paint the inside of the door”

[retrogamingblog]

hardcore pokemon players: the pokemon you catch early on are completely useless. You should just dump them for better ones later on

me: 

[unpretty]

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

[bandomfandombeyond]

This is the opposite of a creepypasta

[mouthsounds]

cozypasta

[fuckyeahporcupinetree]

[tramampoline]

all the best memes are either about loving your friends or drinking water in the middle of the night or cats

[kushblazer666]

[c3rvida3]

Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he just disowned me) that I’m trans and now he’s threatening to come to work and make a scene, and I know I should be upset, but like. What’s he gonna say exactly? And to whom? Because imagining a haggard and likely shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker barging through the grocery store like, “HEY!!! THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3” EFFEMINATE KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY AIN’T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA DICKLESS ABOMINATION??“ is wild. What’s it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call my manager? “HELLO, I’D LIKE TO REPORT A FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED.” What the fuck.

[c3rvida3]

Odds are he’s more embarrassed of having a trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work, so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I’m trans first? What then, coward?

[grimthetransman]

That’s such a power move.

[officialacxa]

Am I fucking high ??? Or did Dash call Danny a twink????

[themadburnish]

is he wrong though?

[scotchdog]

Let’s make it canon that Dash is a closeted gay to tarnish Butch Hartman’s Christian legacy in his cartoons. 

[dan-mcneely-deactivated20210328]

timmy turner was a horrible person

[maxknightley]

dude generally meant well and more importantly Was Ten so cut the kid some slack dan

[zennistrad]

He’s actually sixty years old, though. No really, in a special it was revealed Cosmo granted Timmy’s wish for everyone to stop aging so he could keep his fairy godparents forever and then wished for Cosmo to forget he granted the first wish, and it was literally fifty years before anyone found out.

[dracunculia]

FUCKING WHAT

[brangdangowitz-deactivated20201]

Wait what

[concernedacfan]

In case if yall don’t think its true…..

[vampirezigzagoon]

[agfukagfsaglfhalgadhgdsgds-deac]

the FUCK

[stillhereunfortunately]

is this blog stupid? yes. but which one of us is following it?

[honey-sunny-bee]

Haiku bot?

Posted this?

Without?

Making a haiku?

[haiku-robot]

eat poop.

[liraelclayr]

No, YOU’RE crying

[vaspider]

If you just needed something nice today, here it is.

[katsually-deactivated20190930]

😭😭😭😭

[garfieldminusgarfield]

G-G on Facebook - G-G on Twitter

[parakeet]

did i ever tell you guys abt how i thought edibles and lunchables were the same thing for like, a year. like i thought all those ‘when the edibles kick in’ memes were just funny jokes about how fucking wild kids get around Snacks or something. 

[powerfulwizard]

[lonely-gfd-cutie]

So at one of my jobs I work with this really nice woman named Liz who has an equally nice boyfriend. Thing is, I don’t know the boyfriends name because Liz only addresses him as boytoy. The term boytoy is used so frequently to describe him that not only does she have no problem using that term but neither do any of her coworkers including myself. One day Liz told me that he would be stopping by and when some dude with a beard came through the door I looked at him and said, “Mr.toy I presume.” And he just looks at me and goes; “The very one.” 

Fucking eh. Relationship goals.

[watcher-of-theskies]

sorry for that

[leightum]