How The Fuck Did We Get Here?

"You keep waiting for change to come in a world that's always changing" -RENT STRIKE Lex 28 Queer as fuck (they/them) Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

Palestinians Deserve Better

I feel like this shouldn't have to be said, yet again, but Palestinians should not have to live in fear daily, not knowing if they will survive to the next day, when Israel continues their assault. They should not be forced to relocate because the Zionists have decided that the land that Palestinians have lived in for generations belongs to them. Zionists have chosen to try and erase an entire people, culture, civilization, country, from existence. Israel will tell Palestinians where they will be safe, and then bomb the supposed "safe zone". They will shoot people in the street for fun and games. The IOF is a terrorist group, and as a whole has committed innumerable crimes against the Palestinian people.

My stance on this issue should be clear. I am writing this post because I was requested to by someone who is currently trying desperately to flee with her family. She, her daughter, and her husband deserve better than to live in fear. She and her family deserve safety, shelter, food, and comfort. I cannot fathom what it is like to be her right now, and this is all I can do for her from afar. I can share her story.

Donate to Help me get out of Gaza for my baby girl, organized by Amal Ashour

Hello, I am Amal Ashour. I live in Gaza. I am 26 years old Before the war, I was … Amal Ashour needs your support for Help me get out of Gaz

Please help her get out.

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

Amal is almost halfway to her goal! Please keep sharing! Your reblog can make a difference!

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

I'm not back, but I wanted to give a small update to those who have been wondering:

I'm okay. Relatively speaking. I realized (with the help of my husband and friends) that my presence on tumblr was becoming more of a performance. I don't perform well, the pressure gets to me and I end up shutting down, which is precisely what happened prior to my mental breakdown almost four years ago. I'm not a performer, I'm a person. My blogs that were meant to be a sanctuary and a collection of personal thoughts were less that and more pretending, and that's just not a facade I can keep up long term. I can acknowledge and recognize this.

I still don't know if I'll be back, and even if I do come back, it won't nearly be the same presence as before. I'm strongly considering archiving my blogs and starting fresh, potentially under a new login entirely. Until I make any firm decisions, my blogs will remain as they are: locked down to the extent possible. To my friends, I am sorry for disappearing. I do miss a great many of you.

Here's to hope. Here's to choice. Here's to self-preservation. May we all find what we need.

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

In case anyone is coming to my main blog to figure out why I locked down my sideblog so hard, it's mainly because I need to focus on my health. The other part of it is because I was tired of only seeing engagement during my Sabbat card readings. No other posts got any traction. Asks came through half a dozen or more a day when I did my readings. They were nonexistent in between. And any engagement I did get was in the form of likes, hardly ever reblogs.

I won't even be mad if you unfollow either blog because of it. I have no idea when I'd be back there anyways.

[stupidlittlespirit]

This is so silly but I'm watching a short video essay on sincerity in cinema and the creator is talking about how he watched Lord of the Rings for the first time at 17. He explains that he'd grown so used to the 'ironic' meta style commentary in the movies of the 2010's that as he was watching the opening narration of LotR, he spent the entire time waiting for the joke to come. For someone to take it all back with a zinger line. He listened to Blanchett describe and explain the backstory, and he waited for the other comedic shoe to drop.

And he kept doing it. Scene after scene.

He spent the film expecting someone to make a joke about how unserious things were or to break the fourth wall or do some other self referential type thing.

Now, maybe I'm just at that point in my cycle or maybe I'm too delicate in general, but I literally teared up hearing that. Straight up cried a bit. It is so fucking sad that sincerity and genuineness is being bred out of people.

People say all the time 'this generation can't take anything seriously!' and really, is it any wonder? Younger people have been trained out of it. You are no longer encouraged to be genuine or show emotion or be honest. You are actively punished for it. In fact, you are almost guaranteed to suffer for it.

That is so fucked up. I'm sorry to go on a bit of a random ramble rant but it's so fucking gut wrenching to see younger people lose that element of themselves. You can't express your passion without being told you're 'crashing out' or 'cringe'. You have to live in this neutral state of fear of perception, and god forbid anybody step outside of it!

You're told you should only consume and succumb and be ironic and emotionless and cool.

Listen, if you're following me and you're like.... 25 or under, let's say. Please. I beg of you. Do not fall for this rhetoric. Please, for the love of all things, feel. Feel and create and be honest with yourself. Indulge in things that make you happy. Be sincere. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Do not let this hyper-capitalistic, hyper-consumerist, self-centred, individualist culture take that from you.

Bleed yourself into the work you create. Live. Don't fucking let anyone tell you different.

[fibro-memes]

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

TW Self Harm mention:

Honestly between the shit going on in my life and the shit I'm seeing on here, I feel like relapsing.

I cant remember the last time I cut. Genuinely. But I feel so far from in control of my life I feel like I need *something*, *anything* to give me that sense of control back.

A coworker who I thought was a friend seems to not be. I'm being overworked at a job I've told multiple times I cannot work six days a week. My car is probably on its way out. I haven't been able to clean my room in weeks. I've been in and out of a flare up since freaking March. I don't have half of my psych meds. I have no energy, no time, and no life outside of work.

I really don't know what else to do. Currently taking control back is locking down my blogs, unfollowing a bunch of people, and praying I can get through the next 24 hours without severely breaking down. And then doing the same shit the next day. And the next day.

I'm gonna be honest. This is mentally the worst I've felt since my breakdown nearly four years ago. And I feel like I'm rapidly reaching that point again.

I just wish things were different.

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

Doing some hard thinking about potentially removing myself from some of the communities I've become a part of. Locking down my blogs until further notice.

[highlandkall]

as much as i get the sentiment behind "make more bad art" there's gotta be a better way of communicating "you don't have to be technically proficient or hold yourself to a specific standard of practice" that doesn't sound as backhanded lol

[godlikedyke]

this is so fucking wild to me I can’t stop laughing literally no wonder the perceived top shortage exists

[godlikedyke]

Grading and retries…?

[segamascott]

we've all been there

[passumbapper]

[depsidase]

[glowcowboy]

silliness and sincerity are not opposites btw. they are married. bisexually

[shiverandqueeef]

if you aren't best friends with your lover and a little bit in love with all your friends than what's the fucking point

[dragon-in-a-fez]

either cleaning supplies should be free or dirt should have to pay rent

[ghostlybluetrain]

hey just so you know. moots is synonymous with friends. we both click follow? we're friends now! :3 better be prepared

[do-not-u-dare]

Schrodinger’s gender

[byjove]

do you remember when we could post boobs and and pussy and penis and balls and taint on this site and nobody had to show their license and registration to see it 😔 was that developmentally good for 13 year old me? no. but I genuinely believe it is better than living in a dystopian advertiser friendly state with no anonymity and I would pick opening my Tumblr and seeing untagged porn at 14 over this bullshit any day

[fibro-memes]