Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@theartofmadeline

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Claire Keane
Misplaced Lens Cap

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@pupidog
He slumbers.
Is that fucking Squidward
*accidentaly vents to friend* great now i can never speak to them again
Some of y’all say “think critically” to mean “agree with me” and you shouldn’t
no smart appliances in this house. absolute fucking moron appliances only. my toaster is there to make bread hot not to tweet what time I ate breakfast or whatever the fuck
[Image description: tweet by Hell on Wheels @rollwthepunches.
It’s so irritating when you describe a symptom to someone and they go “I think we all do that”.
We all pee too, Karen, but if you’re doing it 60 times a day there’s probably a problem.]
i will never accept the sound of my recorded voice
Attention all customers: our store will be closing in five minutes. If you are present in the store after closing you will be hunted for sport.
Attention all customers: if you are caught not wearing a mask while shopping you will be crucified in the parking lot
if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.
This also applies if you’re online and just don’t want to or have the energy to deal with humans in the moment. Just because we have the ability to reply in real time does not mean we have the obligation.
A beautiful Hummingbird’s nest with a leaf roof..🕊️
(via)
Pink Peach
this is it..where i hold the Meetings..
oh mine god, i accidentally hath sent thou a picture of mine cock and balls…prithee delete it!! ‘Lest…thou desire to look? haha I jest, delete it…should thee crave… haha nay, banish it…'lest?
updateth: i hath’t been did sentence to death
ok reblog this if you’re offline
my cat lets me pet her belly, imperial. can you say the same?