* DEATH / GRIP .

you  are  the  end  of  an  era  .

[phantomemes]

collection of prompts  /  starter sentences taken from the  cursedsuggestion  blog 

“ tell me we’ll be safe at least for a little while ” “ no one can hear you and no one can help you ” “ ruin my life and never leave me ” “ haunt me , fucker ” “ leap off the precipice before anyone can shove you ” “ now you know how i feel about you ” “ think of me when you want to come home ” “ you made your choice so live with it ” “ don’t look back on it ” “ family does not guarantee safety ” “ you were an adult for most of your childhood ” “ you’ll be okay somewhere in that vague future tense ” “ what i’m saying is what happened was fucked up ” “ you’re crushed under the spine bending weight of yourself ” “ you fell in love with yourself and projected it onto me ” “ i’m the one with the power this time ” “ i bite off more than i can chew ” “ you ruined your own self ” “ i never say the right things ” “ you didn’t outgrow your misery  ,  you grew into it ” “ i look after me and mine ” “ we’re twin souls ” “ you molded me into something terrible ” “ i’m too rigid to bend back ” “ no one’s coming to fix you  ;  put yourself back together ” “ i’m not even a real person ” “ you don’t love  ,  you just devour what i give ” “ why do you expect others to treat you better than you treat yourself ? ” “ you should try to be you ” “ sometimes fixing something is stopping it from breaking further ” “ you don’t say what you mean  ,  just what sounds good ” “ all you do is watch ” “ i’m a bad habit with a bad attitude ” “ everything you are shown has a purpose ” “ someone else wears your face ” “ my soul is a bit fucked up ” “ i’ll burn the sheets when you go ” “ there is no god that i can see ” “ love isn’t an excuse ” “ scream into the universe until it screams back ” “ i wanted you to stay ” “ the past is with you  ,  for better or worse ” “ this hate keeps me warm in the winter ” “ i’m a wrong number ”

[putrefys-blog]

hey this new chapter fucked me UP .

[putrefys-blog]

@dramaturs  /  sc.

     the boy is pretty  :  like flowers minutes before decay sets in,  fruit with rot in the middle  --  and so,  so fake.  he’s learned to pick it out,  that cracking insincerity,  the way it shudders underneath the weight of long-held and since-abandoned ideals  .  .  .  akechi goro is pretty,  and it makes shigaraki’s stomach feel pretty unsettled.      ❛  ----  don’t you have a crowd to be smiling at?   ❜

[putrefys-blog]

i forgot i keep continuously headcanon’ing tomura to be shorter and shorter bc i can and i just. we stan a 5′7″ king.

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PLEASE LIKE  &  REBLOG  if you would be interested in roleplaying with a brand new returning blog for shigaraki tomura  ,  from my hero academia  ,  as written  (   and loved  !   )   by libra  ;  some triggers do apply  ,  considering the manga content  ,  which are all tagged accordingly  .     heavily headcanon based  !

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hey gamers like this post for a starter ;)

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dickbutt

       ❛   —  get off me  .   ❜     bare hand comes winding from one side of the controller to cup at dabi’s cheek  ,  shove  ,  pushing  ;  but careful  (  always careful  ,  with the one thing he doesn’t want to see turned into dust  )   several fingers pulled back like the drawstring on a bow  .    the game flashes over them in frenetic blasts of red  ,  blue  ,  green  /  washing over the contortion of tomura  ,  in dabi’s lap  ,  legs flung over one thigh  ,  the rest of his body cradled into the armrest of the couch  .   if either of them should  get off  ,  it ought to be him  :  he’s the one keeping bodily warmth trapped beneath him  .     ❛   i’m trying to focus  ,  metalhead  .   can’t you see  ?   ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  DABI .   ) 

                THERE’S A LAUGH THAT BUBBLES UP OUT OF HIS THROAT  ,      something genuinely amused but also not remotely joyous  ——  a bitter  ,  tired kind of noise  ,  soft and over in a few short chuckles .  it’s clear tomura has no idea what kind of man his father is and that’s fine  ,  it isn’t as if he’s ever expected him to know but it sure is  something  to have him perched here atop his lap and not even bother to  ask  ,  making assumptions based on short  ,  vague responses from some ten minutes ago .  really  ,  it just goes to show tomura shouldn’t be calling the shots here .  even with the given information he doesn’t understand a thing .

                ❛  ‘ fatherly compassion ’  ,  fuck no .  a guy like that  …  no  ,  i don’t think he’s capable of it  ,  really .  ❜      there’s a memory  ,  two  ,  three  ;  a toddler curled up against his bedroom door  ,  starved and battered  ,  ‘ disappointment ’  ringing in his ears just as loudly as his mother’s quiet hiccups from across the courtyard  ;  sad enough to cry  ,  not enough to  do  anything it would seem .  to take those images  ,  those scenes  ,  paint a smile on anyone’s face or an outstretched hand  ,  reassurance or concern  …  he can’t manage it  ,  feels sick in the attempt .      ❛  compassion isn’t what i’m expecting .  but tryin’ to save face  …  yeah .  that’d be dad .  he’s only a hero ‘cause his shit stayed behind closed doors  ;  doesn’t matter how badly he’s tryin’ to act like he’s gonna be better  ,  there’s a reason he won’t publicize any of what he did to us .  he knows he’s a fake .  ❜  

                ❛  but anyway  …  you should stop assuming shit before you let me speak .  i may not be you  ,  mophead  ,  but i ain’t stupid .  that isn’t where the details of what i wanna do start and end  ,  and if he surprises me  …  well .  i have plans for that too .  getting beaten to a pulp isn’t  …  ❜      he clicks his tongue  ,  thoughtfully .  tomura’s way of speaking is starting to rub off on him  ,  he thinks  ,  continues  :      ❛  … game over .  it’s not even close .  ❜

       AND HIS EYES NARROW  ,  hateful little slits  ------  and he gets it  ;  a puzzle piece slotted into place  ,  understands that better than he thinks dabi thinks he does  ,  and the expression on his face  ,  if possible  ,  only sours further  ,  like apple juice left out in the sun too long  .     he gets it  ,  and it makes his stomach twist  ,  he gets it  ,  and it makes his fingers itch  .    the urge to hurt something raises itself in him and he doesn’t return his hands to dabi’s form  ,  balling fingers into a fist and letting the nails bite into the meat of his own palm  .       ❛  you think endeavor won’t fight back if you don’t come at him trying to kill  ?  ❜

        there’s not a word after that spoken  ,  for a moment  ;  but the intention of speech remains  ,  evident in the way tomura’s lips purse and fall open  ,  the sliver of teeth that gnaws into bottom lip  ;  he’d interrupt  ,  if dabi spoke  ,  a curt  ,  leaderly  shut up   .      ❛   let’s compromise  .    that’s as much of an inch as i’m willing to give you  ;  that suitable for you  ,  patchwork  ?   ❜     doesn’t ask about it  ;  doesn’t need to  /  their past pain needn’t decay and come down to bleached  ,  crow - picked bones  .    he gets it  .  

            ❛  let’s kill endeavor  ...  unless you want something else  ?  ❜   whatever that something else might be  ,  it’d be disappointing  ;  he might speak of fatherly compassion but filial compassion disturbs his personal graves  ,  raises skeletons he’d rather stuff into coffins  .    ❛  how do you want to shake the discount symbol of peace from his throne  ,  dabi  ?   ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  DABI .   ) 

                IT’S THE EQUIVALENT OF HAVING A GUN TO HIS HEAD      and yet he fails to even  tense  beneath tomura’s fingers  ,  the shift of position  ,  instead simply staring up at him with unwavering eye contact .  it isn’t that he isn’t  acutely  aware of the destructive capabilities tomura possesses  but more so that it doesn’t concern him at this moment  ——  a threat is a threat only if the one giving it has an intention to follow through and tomura  …  tomura would sooner eat his own hands than use them to harm him  ,  with scattered  ,  unlikely exceptions .  cocky  ,  knowing  ;  he tilts his head  ,  neck  ,  moving himself ever so slightly further into tomura’s fingers .

                ❛  s’neat how we’re all equal ‘til we wanna do somethin’ that doesn’t please your creepy ass  ,  huh ?  real quick to whip out the boss card then .  ❜      he exhales  ,  deeply  ,  slowly  ;  he could really go for a cigarette right now .  too bad he’s got a fucking  cat  bristling in his lap .      ❛  this isn’t a debate .  i’m telling you what’s up so we can work together  —  whether or not you give me permission has nothin’ to do with what i wind up doing .  just matters how much say you have in it .  ❜

                ❛  you’re real pissy ‘cause you think i don’t trust you  ,  wonder where the fuck you’re givin’ me a reason to in this whole conversation .  actin’ like it’ll all go to shit if you let me handle something on my own  ,  got some bullshit threat with your hand around my neck .  you wanna kill me ?  squeeze .  otherwise get your hand off’a me .  ❜

       DABI MOVES INTO HIS HAND AND HE JERKS BACK  ,  frantic  ,  an uncontrolled motion which then finds rest around the front of his own neck  ,  the fingers curled there like a hawk’s talons  ,   and the way tomura’s breath audibly hitches is evident enough of how little of a real threat that’d been  ;  a meaningless hazarded chance  ,  a baring of teeth in a defanged jaw  .    he thinks  ,  of the two of them  ,  the one getting pissy is dabi  ;  that dabi’s the one with a want he needs to be fulfilled  .   tomura’s merely reminding him of his place  .

        bad  ,  maybe  ,  that he’d given dabi a thirst for control  .

       he remains quiet  /  stares  ,  but dabi’s used to that  :  the open way in which tomura does it  ,  like a child that’s never been taught what’s impolite and what isn’t  ,  what’d rub someone the wrong way and what doesn’t  .   it isn’t that he’s not aware of his rudeness  ,  he is  ,  but rather that he doesn’t care  .   he’s unerring  ,  and practically ominous  ,  lips parted slightly while his teeth clack together and a muscle jumps in his cheek  .      ❛  never said it was going to go to shit  .  ❜

          ❛  –  just don’t trust you not to do what’s in the best interest of everyone else  .   you want resources  ?   you want a chance to kill your father  ?   go ahead  .   whatever  .   but for our sakes  ...  doing something just because you’re banking on endeavor not beating you to a little bloody pulp’s  kind of stupid  .   that the only strategy you have  ?   hoping for a bit of fatherly compassion  ?   ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━ DABI  .   ) 

                STOP MOVING ME AROUND HE SAYS  ,  AND HE OBLIGES .      he lets go  ,  unwraps his arm from around tomura’s waist and allows it to dangle lazily off the side of the seat instead  ,  no move made to replace the warmth and touch that is now lost .  it wouldn’t be accepted if he tried  ,  he knows  ,  even if he has a suspicion tomura will miss feeling his palm on his side  ,  arm against his back .  a man of contradictions  ,  every action somehow both a self punishment and personal reward  ;  a man of pride  ,  happier to deny himself something to prove a point than relinquish his anger .  sometimes dabi finds it funny .  sometimes he’s just tired .  tonight is the latter . 

                ❛  that i told you at all should be proof enough that i trust you .  no skin off my back if i’d just held onto that a while longer  ,  and if i wanted to lie to you i woulda done it two minutes ago when you asked what was on my mind .  …  but that’s not a good enough answer  ,  is it ?  ❜      of course not .  he’ll rip the trauma from his bones and rot the truth in its entirety out of his chest just to spit in the wound and tell him it isn’t enough  ,  there is no  atoning  for the  wrong  he’s committed in keeping himself safe   ——  nevermind that tomura hasn’t deigned to share any  of  his secrets in the time they’ve known one another .  ‘ we’re all equals here ’  except they’re not  ,  really .  

                ❛  he’s just a shit hero to you  ,  part of a bigger plan .  he’s somethin’ else entirely to me and if you wanna get on my ass about me not sayin’ shit to you about that sooner  ,  fine .  but you’ve already done a great job of showin’ exactly why i’ve been waitin’ this long .  ❜      truthfully he has no idea when tomura thinks he should’ve told him  ,  no  good time  displayed in their timeline thus far though the reasons for such vary and truthfully  ,  he’s pretty sure tomura knows that .  but it’s easier to be angry  ,  self - important  ,  than it is to worry  ,  isn’t it ?      ❛  i don’t want you to plan it .  i don’t mind havin’ your input  ,  want it actually or i wouldn’t’ve said shit  ,  but this is gonna get set up my way .  and if you wanna object to that  … dunno that you got room to be chastising me for a lack of trust .  ❜

        THE WARMTH RECEDES AND HE WANTS IT BACK  ,  craves the ghost of dabi’s hot palms  ,  the solidity of an arm behind his back  ;  it’s gone  ,  and it’s what he wanted  ,  but the absence of it makes his skin prickle uneasily  ,  sends the nails in his neck digging deeper  ,  over the shadow of old wounds  ;  he straddles dabi  ,  instead  ,  slides his knees into familiar position  ,  the mimicry of control  ,  and pretends as though the shit coming out of dabi’s lazy mouth doesn’t strike a sort of old  ,  familiar chord  .     wants to say he gets it but that particular story sticks on his tongue like glue  ;  doesn’t dare roll off it  .

         and even if he’d wanted to  ,  what does it matter  ?   they’re not the same  ;  they never will be  .   it’d serve no purpose  ,  and this isn’t about sharing their sob stories  .    they’re fragmented beasts  /  sharing past pain didn’t matter nearly as much as exacting it  .

        ❛  --  are you the boss  ,  now  ?  ❜   tomura slides fingers from heart to dabi’s neck  ,  winds four fingers around its length and leaves the index pulled back like the trigger of a gun  .    he won’t do it  ;  it’s not even a bluff  .   but he could  ,  and dabi’s smart mouth is pissing him off  .    ❛  dunno why you were expecting me to just roll over and take that  .    watch your mouth  .    you’re pissing me off  .  ❜

             ❛  it doesn’t seem like you’ll listen to anything i have to say  ...  ❜    he flexes his fingers over the skin of dabi’s neck  .    ❛  but you’re not the one who sets up anything  .    we’re doing this the way i want  --  and if you keep this up  ...  the one on the front lines is going to be your funerary ashes  .    the person giving input  ...  is going to be you  .  ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  DABI  .   ) 

                ❛  you gonna let me actually answer you  ,  or you wanna keep throwing angry questions at me ‘til you tire yourself out ?  ❜      he replies  ,  a calm to match tomura’s lack of .  he expected this response  ,  or something close to it  ;  of course this man   ——   a  breeding ground  for anger and paranoia and  rotting bodies  that give their promises of trustworthiness in the form of  silence and bloat   ——   would find it some kind of  personal offense  that he did not have every piece of the puzzle from the get - go .  it’s treason  ,  it’s lies  ,  it’s a strike in tomura’s little black book and dabi counts himself  lucky  that the hands so near to his body are not weapons  ,  not to him .  never to him  ,  and all his six thousand strikes .

                ❛  first of all  …  it’s  because  i know it’s important that i haven’t said shit to anyone about it .  ❜      he replies with a  sigh  ,  hand now no longer pressed to tomura’s face lifting to run itself through his hair instead .  he knows tomura doesn’t think him  stupid  ,  but he could make an effort to prove it now and again .      ❛  divulging that information too soon woulda been a real mess .  son of a famous pro hero workin’ with a group of villains who didn’t have any real traction yet  …  that’s not a blow  ,  that’s a sob story in endeavor’s favor .  i’d look like a rebellious kid who got caught up in the wrong crowd and is just waitin’ on daddy to come save him ‘cause now he’s in too deep .  even worse if he’d managed to round me up during their attack from before  ,  makes him look like my goddamn hero .  ❜      he wets his lips  ,  continues .      ❛  with the reputation i have now  ,  that stands of chance of doing some real damage .  after all  …  he’s trying to prove himself as deserving of the position he’s in now  ,  right ?  having a serial killer  ,  kidnapping former heir isn’t about to make that any easier for him .  ❜

                ❛  secondly  …  it’s better to shake ‘em up in pieces  ,  not all at once .  dismantling their top heroes one by one  …  that’s gonna be more effective than trying to take out a handful at a time .  spreads it out  ,  causes more doubt  …  that kinda thing .  you’re a genius  ,  but you’re impatient .  ‘specially when you’re angry .  i didn’t wanna have you tossing that information out before it could be most effective .  ❜      he adjusts how he’s sitting a bit  ,  shifts tomura on his lap so they’re both a bit more  upright  and pulls him  closer  with the arm still ‘round his waist .  he knows he’s bound to be angry  ,  hates  when dabi doesn’t roll over and  agree  with his tantrums  ,  but he’s right .  if tomura is as smart as dabi gives him credit for being  ,  he’ll know that too .      ❛  and third  …  yeah  ,  it’s a little about knockin’ my old man down a few pegs .  ain’t all of it  ,  but it factors in .  think i’m allowed that  ,  after what he did to me and every other kid he forced that woman to pop out on his behalf .  ❜ 

         DABI’S NOTIONS DO LITTLE TO EASE THE TENSION IN TOMURA’S BODY  ,  and restlessness makes room for agitation  ,  picks itself up in the way tomura goes to dig at the slender expanse of his scarred neck  ;  some people have worry stones  ,  others origami  ,  and he has jagged nails and thin red lines and old wounds  ,  the symbols of a body too small for what it packs inside  ,  and usually this would not be necessary  ,  not with another body immediately beneath him  ,  that he could blemish at his leisure  ,  but he is annoyed  ,  and all of that is the tone that dabi speaks in  ;  the way he presumes tomura would abuse the knowledge of his lineage in such an ineffective manner  .

         he is not so poor a strategist that he does not know when and where and what time to strike  ;  hearing dabi think otherwise is nearly disheartening  ,  and when dabi tugs tomura closer  ,  he tugs his body back  ,  away  ,  presses a palm to the place where dabi’s heart’d be  ,  if he had something like it  .      ❛  stop moving me around  ,  ❜    tomura snarls  ,   and a wall builds  .      ❛  i’m not your plaything  .     i’m not a doll you can pose however you want  .  ❜

         the most irritating fact of all is that dabi’s right  ;  without stain  ,  without the kidnapping of bakugou katsuki  ,  without the obliteration of the people’s trust in u.a.  ,  without the toppling of all might  ,  none of this would matter    --    dabi  ,  or whatever his name is  ,  would just be some elite’s brood come to drink from the wrong waters  ;  not a threat  ,  not a suggestion of something nefarious  ,  but a tragedy turned the incorrect direction  .    but that’s exactly how tomura would have planned it  .

         ❛  you think i wouldn’t have put the knowledge to good use  ?   like i wouldn’t have figured out a strategy around it  ?    calling me a genius and insulting me like that in the same sentence  ------   you just wanted to pick and choose when to drop that information in my lap  ;  you’ve had lots of time to mention it before  ...  ❜

         ❛  or maybe you’re lying to me  ?   just to get a shot at getting your own name out there  ?  to be the villain that took down endeavor  ?   you’re banking on me just taking you at your word  ,  right  ?  ❜    the accusation lacks heat  ,  lacks substance  ,  delivered quietly and without judgment  ,  the look up at dabi through a cold  ,  calculative stare  ;  a glimmer of ruby uncertainty somewhere in there  .     he has no reason to believe dabi  .    has no reason to disbelieve dabi  ,  either  ,  and he can pick and choose where the evidence points towards dabi telling the truth  .

          they both know dabi’s hair is red  ;  he’s pulled exhibit a out from between his teeth  .

          ❛  you’re right  --  i’m not stupid  .    stop making excuses  .    the bottom line is that you didn’t trust me  ,  or  ...  you’re lying through your teeth  .  ❜    and a quiet  ,  creaking  ,    ❛  both piss me off  .  ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  DABI  .   ) 

                it would be easy enough to drop this conversation  ,  he thinks  ,      let it devolve with a smirk  ,  a chuckle  ,  a hand gliding to tomura’s lower back and his lips searching for lover’s own  ——  but he resists that particular urge  ,  knowing if he  wants  something  ,  he’ll need to earn it through explanation rather than distraction .  and this  ,  this  is  something he wants  ;  the corpse of a corrupted man created by his own hands  ,  the death of his own personal  boogeyman  &  the knowledge they  both  shall share in the  faux hero’s  final moments that endeavor  created  this monster  ,  sealed his own fate twenty three years ago .  he wants  revenge  plain and simple .  there’s a birthright involved in this man’s death and  no one else  can be permitted to bring his crown tumbling down . 

                ❛  not askin’ for anything any more special than you lettin’ me lead that mission with the angry little shit .  you know i can do it .  ❜      he better  ,  in any case .  he’s more than proven himself by this point and if that can be called  special treatment  …  well  ,  maybe it is .  so what ?  villainy aside he’s certain he already meets the criteria for whatever tomura considers that to be  ,  judging by their current position alone  ;  the man who screams  don’t touch me  wrapped up in dabi’s arms  ,  hot breath on his chest and all but  purring  each time dabi deigns to give him even feather light touches .  speaking of which  …  he moves a hand to cup tomura’s face  ,  thumb ghosting along the skin of his cheek as he stares down at him and as much as he doesn’t care to delve into the matter at hand in  detail  …  there’s no choice .  he owes tomura a shred of honesty and should trust him enough not to be an  idiot  with the information .

                ❛  his guard’ll be lower if he knows i’m involved .  or at least he’ll have trouble gettin’ the upper hand .  good things  ,  right ?  ❜      a sigh  ,  hand sliding upward to run fingers through tomura’s hair and he finds a sense of  comfort  in the action  ,  strangely enough .  maybe if they weren’t both so  fucked up  this could be a fully affectionate moment between them  ——  but alas  ,  that’s just not their luck .      ❛  bastard that he is  ,  he still won’t wanna risk fuckin’ up his son where cameras are rolling .  he’s tried so damn hard to get to the place he’s in now  ,  it’d be a shame to give anyone a reason to knock him down from it .  besides  …  i know how he fights better than anyone else you could send out there .  just safer  ,  for a lot’a reasons .  ❜

       YOU KNOW I CAN DO IT  ,   and to anyone else that arrogant appeal would have been the very end of the matter  ;  he doesn’t settle for being told what he does and does not know  ,  what is and is not  ,  but he has a soft spot for dabi  ,  like the center of a bloated corpse  ,  malleable  ,  and he isn’t easy to manipulate   (   he’s more comfortable with the manipulating  ;  queuing actions behind closed doors  ,  or hopping onto the front lines like a real protagonist   )    but he has a place in him that plays into dabi’s hands like model clay  .     dabi bends him  ,  can bend him  ;  shigaraki tomura thinks no one else will ever have that ability so long as they both still live  .

      in the warmth of dabi’s offered palm  ,  that seems more like a blessing than it does a curse  ,  and tomura thinks himself something of an expert on that matter  ,  thinks he knows his fair share of curses  ,  as though the devil’s benediction doesn’t writhe in the joints and knuckles of his ten fingers  .   tomura eases into dabi’s palm and grips the attached wrist near painfully  ,  his own slight reminder that  ,  while he may be vulnerable  ,  he needn’t always be  .    dabi doesn’t need the threat  ,  but it’s his own billet - doux  :  i could kill you  ,  if i wanted to  ,  but i won’t  .

        ❛  ----  i make the decisions  ,  here  .  ❜    he mumbles into dabi’s palm  ;  restless energy sends him shifting uncomfortably in dabi’s lap  ,  makes him flux their waists against each other  .    it’s an attempt at getting comfortable  ,  vain  ,  but worth the shot  .

       and then dabi drops that bombshell on him and whatever movements tomura’d been making before stop  ,  and it’s irritating  ,  but so like dabi to deliver it with that fucking casual  ,   nonchalant attitude  ,  and the face pressed into the skin of dabi’s palm jerks backwards in the dead air between dabi’s sentences and his lack of response  .

        a new kind of sensation rises in his stomach  ;  it’s not like dabi lied  ,  but it feels like being lied to  /  that sort of brand of omission  ,  like dabi didn’t deem it important enough  ,  like it didn’t matter  ,  somewhere along the lines  .    his voice is a door to a haunted house and it creaks and he says  ,   ❛  that’s what you want  ,  huh  ----  ?    to settle a debt  .    you plan for this  ?   the chance to knock the flame hero down a few pegs  ?  ❜

        ❛  you didn’t think that kinda info wasn’t important  ?    being the son of the ex - second most popular hero  ...  that’s a valuable piece to use to shake the foundation of heroes  .    you’re an idiot for not using it openly  .  ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  PATCHWORK  .   )

                and he is  delighted  to see tomura fell for it  ,      lips curling upward in a pleased little  smirk .  he’s won this game already  ,  well aware that this pile will not go to his hands but it’s an indicator of things to come .  his strategy will work  just fine  and his reward will be tomura’s  attitude problems  for the next several hours .  worth it  …  kinda .

                   ❛  really think i’m bullshitting you  ,  huh ?  if you say so  ,  ❜      a brief lull in his speech  ,  fingers reaching to  pluck  the cards back up and turn them face up toward tomura  ;  he’s been nothing but honest .      ❛  i don’t mind lettin’ you be wrong .  ❜      and the cards are placed back down  ,  body reclining back in his seat in a leisurely fashion  ;  he can  read you  ,  shigaraki tomura .  don’t think otherwise .      ❛  you’re a piss poor lie  detector  ,  handyman .  you wanna call my bluff then make sure i’m bluffin’ .  ❜

      THE FAMILIAR BURN OF HUMILIATION SPEWS AND BOILS IN HIS STOMACH  ,  and if his face were visible it’d glow crimson red  ;  aware he’s been played for a sucker  ,  aware he’d fallen right into what  (  now  )  was so obvious a trap  ,  and tomura attempts to swallow the venom that pools on the tip of his tongue  ,  stomps upon the urge to throw his whole hand into dabi’s face and watch the cards dance across his features  .    he looks stupid  ,  feels stupid  ,  and perhaps some of that is the point on dabi’s end  ;  knocking him down a few much - needed pegs  ,  but he vows to himself to not allow it to happen again  .  

      something in the way dabi looks at him makes him feel like a book with its pages forcibly torn out  ,  a cockiness in the movements that knots a hard lump in the center of his throat  ;  he hates it  ,  the same way he loves it  ,  wants so bad to stuff his pages back into their tattered spine  &  lock it shut like a middle school girl’s diary  ,  which wouldn’t matter anyway  ,  ‘cause dabi knows how to pick those particular locks  --  and as vulnerable and wounded as that should make him feel  ,  he can’t deny that he loves it  ;  loves slipping himself  ,  unfettered  ,  right into dabi’s hands  .

       just maybe not like this  /  maybe not when he can lose  .

       ❛  shut up  .  ❜    is dabi’s reward for a trap well played  .   tomura flicks another card face - down onto the pile  :  just one  ,  and a lie at that  :    ❛  jack of spades  .  ❜    bit out through the thin lips of a sore loser  .  

       ❛  ----  don’t trust you  .    just being cautious  ;  you get that  ,  right  ?   or maybe you don’t  ,  since you keep fucking testing me  .  ❜

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  PATCHWORK  .   ) 

                it’s like having a cat  ,  some twisty  ,  wriggly little thing      that’s never quite content with staying  still  ,  always desiring more and more attention .  put your hand  here  ,  pet me  there  …  demanding  ,  needy .  he drags his thumb along tomura’s skin and thinks that a cat suits him  just fine .  his free arm shifts from its place beside him and moves instead to wrap around tomura’s waist  ,  dragging him closer against his body  ;  funny  ,  how one of the most dangerous men he’s ever met is something of a  comfort  to him  ,  a safety net  ,  an anchor to keep the thoughts churning in his head from dragging him away .  

                   ❛  easier  …  yeah .  doesn’t quite mean  ‘ easy ’  though .  ❜      for as many faults as that man has  ,  to be  weak  is not one of them .  he may not be  all might  but there’s a reason he made it to number two despite his demeanor  ;  there’s a  reason  he’s been chosen to defend the peace even if his stomach  churns  at the thought of it .      ❛  least his quirk’s got weak spots .  same with his profession .  he may be full’a shit but he’s gotta real special kinda job now .  ❜

                   ❛  with the way shit is movin’ forward  ,  things are gonna get more dire and when it comes down to it  ,  there’ll be a time he’s gotta make a choice .  he can give his life to safe a bunch of civilians or he can let ‘em die and save his own skin  ——  either way  ,  it’s a victory for us  ,  isn’t it ?  ❜      less of one if he isn’t the one extinguishing that  bastard  but he’ll take what he can get  ,  even if he may be  bitter  about it .  he tilts his head  ,  shifts his gaze to be angled downward toward tomura .  an anchor .  he continues  : 

                    ❛  he dies  ,  they lost a symbol .  another reminder that their fake heroes are just as human as the rest of ‘em .  if he lives  …  they lose a symbol for a whole other reason .  can’t hide behind a guy who won’t protect you  ,  right ?  ❜      pause .  he feels  antsy  ,  almost regrets bringing this up .  almost .      ❛  whenever we cross that bridge  ,  lemme lead the operation .  ❜

    THE WAY DABI’S TOUCH DRAGS ACROSS HIM SENDS SHIVERS DOWN HIS SPINE OF THE PLEASANT VARIETY  ,  give him this itch he aches to scratch  ,  somewhere untrimmed  ,  broken nails can’t reach  ,  and it simply sends his energy spiraling  ,  causes shivers to break out across his whole body  :  keeping him a vibrating form in dabi’s lap  .    the way dabi can pull reactions out of him is somewhat of a frustration  ;  has always been  ,  and in some ways the other man can make him feel so small in comparison  ,  makes him acutely aware of their size difference  ,  gives him the ability to wonder just what it is that separates them both  ;  if the one in control is him  ,  if it isn’t  .

     if that thought is meant to be bothersome  ,  the way tomura suspects it should be  ,  it isn’t  ;  dabi pulls him closer to his body and tomura lays flush against it  ,  a whining sound trapped in his throat  .    he lays his hands against dabi’s chest  ,  outstretched fingers  ,  one raised high on both ends  ,  lest he turn his glorified pillow into dust  .

    regardless of whether or not he’s in control  ,  the fact of the matter stands that tomura could kill him easily  ;  if a lack of control should bother him  ,  then he has at least that to cling to  ,  and he thinks of it each time they sit like this  ,  with him curled into dabi’s lap like a raggedy feral kitten  .     ❛  you asking for special treatment  ?  ❜

     he’s surprised dabi asks for anything at all  .     ❛  why  ?  got something to prove  ?  a villain with a fire quirk takes down the symbol of peace with one  ...  didn’t take you for the dick measuring type  .  ❜    he shifts in dabi’s lap  ,  buries face into the exposed part of dabi’s chest  ,  where his cheek can rub against where skin meets distortion  ,  staples scraping where they meet his face  .   tomura can feel dabi’s eyes on him  ;  that  ,  like his touch  ,  makes his spine dance in his back  .     ❛  you’re the one who says we shouldn’t jump in  --  and your quirk’s not gonna expose a weak spot  .    c’mon  .    you know strategy  .  y’know how fucking stupid it’d be to throw you in there  .  ❜  

     a huff of harsh  ,  hot breath fans across dabi’s chest  .     ❛  ---  unless you wanna set up a situation like that  .    what’s on your mind  ,  patchwork  ?   what’re you thinking  ?  ❜

[putrefys-blog]

i worry sometimes abt seeming pretentious esp. with my metaphors but oscar wilde didn’t comment on how ugly the aesthetics of the room he was dying in was for my ass to not be pretentious as all hell

[putrefys-blog]

i love associating tomura with flowers  /  floral arrangements & specifically decaying flowers because there’s something so haunting about the aesthetic of watching something beautiful slowly wither away  ,  and i feel very much like it’s an aesthetic that wraps itself up neatly in tomura’s characterization  :  the idea that he both is a withering flower  &  something that causes the wither of flowers  ,  like the slow desiccation and etherization of a hero society  ;  this concept that he  ,  like a wilted rose  ,  can brush places with blooming roses and spoil them and just aaa i love dead flowers n shit it’s good

[putrefys-blog]

✦◞  *  ━  PATCHWORK  .   ) 

                ❛  nicknames aren’t supposed to be  biting .    ‘sides  ,  you’ll get pissy with me if i actually say somethin’ with a hard enough bite .  ❜      man baby  ,  toddler wearing an adult’s skin  ——  he has the fuse of an infant and the temper of a bull  ,  doesn’t  matter  if it’s something he  asked for  that ignited him .  though admittedly  ,  all of that amounts to a decent little nickname .  so he draws a card  ,  he plays along .

                   ❛  how’s  ‘ manchild ’ ?  ❜      dabi asks  ,  adding a second card to the pile .      ❛  babyman ?  ❜      another card .      ❛  sore loser ?  ❜      and he keeps his face  straight  ,  purposely so  ,  when he says  :      ❛  three of spades  ,  four of spades  ,  seven of spades .  your turn .  ❜      he’s not lying  ,  just got  lucky  ,  but he’s hoping his  pushiness  to end the turn  &  move on comes across differently  ;  he’d  love  to see tomura get knocked down a  small peg . 

     MANCHILD  ,  BABYMAN  ,  SORE LOSER  ,   like they’re all things he hasn’t heard before  ;  when he said bite  ,  he meant it  ,  but what dabi slings at him are grade school level insults  ,  cat’s paw softness  ,  and for his efforts he receives naught but tomura’s huff of frustrated breath  ,  fingers pinching the hand of cards tightly  .     ❛   you sure you’re an adult  ?   the best you’ve got is that  ?  you’re pathetic  .   ❜

      ❛   and you’re full of shit  .   bullshit  .  ❜    not a chance in hell that he’s got three cards that apply here  ,  so tomura stabs an accusatory finger in dabi’s direction  .   ❛   you’re a piss poor liar  ,  dabi  .   if you wanna lie  ,  then make it a good one  .  ❜    not that he can tell  ;  dabi’s got such a numb disposition  --  it’s precisely why tomura didn’t want to play poker with him  .  but he’s confident enough in this to call dabi out on the possibility of a lie  ;  thinks liar’s instincts can help here  ,  if nothing else  .

      he stabs the finger at dabi again  .    ❛   show me  .  ❜