John 'Central' Bradford: -finishing off the twelfth viper and scraping off the last remains of visera off his blade- "That seems to be the last of them in the area. It'd be best to scout down further and see what lays ahead. Commander, your next order?"
Commander: "Marry me."
John 'Central' Bradford: "Sir, we're on a mission. Please stop joking on the main channel."
Commander: "Sorry, my bad." -switches to private channel- "Marry me."
Commander: -Sees a recruit arguing with Central and runs over cuz they're a noisy bitch.-
Recruit: "-and no offense sir, but this seems like a dumb idea."
Commander: "Hey! That's your superior officer. He's got a lot more experience with this than you and even me. Even if it may seem a bit unorthodox, he knows what he's doing."
John 'Central' Bradford: "Thank you, Commander."
Recruit: "He wants to go on the mission with us. The one with a million snakes."
Commander: -turns to Bradford- "The fuck are you, an idiot!?"
Commander: "Okay Rookie, this is an easy mission. This is just to get your feet wet and see how well you do on the battlefield. You're also gonna be paired with our finest veterans who'll protect you and show the ropes."
Rookie: "Gotcha."
During Mission:
Sharpshooter: Didn't hit A SINGLE alien
Specialist: Had a panic attack
Ranger: Got poisoned, choked, and stabbed
Aliens: Got reinforcements
Rookie: Never missed a shot, the majority of shots were max damage, cleared out 5 aliens and 2 turrets
Recruit: "Central Officer, I know you're close to the Commander, but are you sure they're not an alien plant? What if they're here to sabotage us!?"
John 'Central' Bradford: "I don't wanna hear another word about this! I believe in the Commander wholeheartedly. The Commander deeply cares for all of us and the rebellion. There's nothing they wouldn't do for the sake of XCOM or humanity!"
Recruit: "So you're sure they know what they're doing?"
John 'Central' Bradford: "Okay well... let's not put words in my mouth."
Recruit: *Sees Commander in hallway; immediately goes the other direction*
Commander: "Hey! Wait! Wait!" *Struggles but finally catches up to the Recruit* "I've been trying to get a hold of you all week. I wanted to apologize to you personally for my outburst last mission. You and the team did excellent. Despite some of the hiccups we encountered, you guys pulled through and successfully cleared the mission. I just wanted you to know that we're all proud of guys and couldn't wish a better team."
Recruit: "Really?"
Commander: "Yeah, really."
Recruit: "... You said that if I couldn't hit the enemy at a 99% hit rate, then I should atleast be capable of shooting myself."
Commander: "A-and that was completely inappropriate of me. Even though things seemed a little dire at the time, I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. You have to believe me, I never meant to humiliate you."
Recruit: "You said it over the main channel and even called me by name!"
Commander: "..."
Recruit: "..."
Commander: "In my defense, I'm still getting use to the control panel. I thought I was pressing the mute button. Now I know better."
Last time on TGAA Role swap AU: Kazuma desperately tries to prove his existence is not a curse to everyone he knows. Not going too well as his best friend is accused of murder after going out on a date to dinner with him. Then same best friend is shortly "killed" after Kazuma convinces him to go to Britain with him, so 0-2 so far. Got some sweet gloves outta it tho.
Naruhodo is thankfully alive, but now in the clutches of the totally trustworthy MAEL Stronghart. Who pretty much guilts him into obeying him and doing everything says even after his memories are returned. Onto the show!
Not a lot of the force are willing to take her seriously as a little girl and prior thief to boot, but she does prove herself to Gregson and Van Zieks, as she's able to think like a criminal. She finds hidden compartments where smugglers store things and uses her little gang of east-enders to find out info around town.
Still with her personality she doesn't take too well to being looked down on and butts heads with a lot of the older staff. They can't do much to retaliate as Gregson becomes attached to her and will tell anyone off who tries to pick on her.
Her eager personality and need to be taken seriously ends up with her getting into small but constant fights with Ryuunosuke. Not only is he a rookie, in sense like her, but he is taken more seriously even though he's wearing a mask, and no one really knows his name. This is a one-sided antagonism as Ryuu just tries to stay out of the way and tries to get along with her.
Another thing that bothers Gina about him is the fact that he only communicates by writing. Gina can't really read all too well given her background as a street rat. Her lack of reading skills and bad paperwork is a constant flaw that the older workforce loves to poke at and something that Gregson can't really defend her from.
When working on a minor case together, she notices that when he thinks no one is around, Ryuu will quietly talk to himself. Furious, Gina pulls him aside and really lays into him. Accusing him of mocking her just because she struggles to read and her background.
Horrified, Ryuunosuke ends up blurting out that no, he really respects her insight and her out of the box thinking. Then, realizing he talked out loud, begs her not to say anything to Van Zieks or Stronghart, or he'll be in tremendous trouble.
Gina realizes that she was wrong and apologizes, swearing she won't tell them. She also starts to understand that Ryuunosuke seems to be in an awkward situation. She clocks in his accent and asks if he has any relation with Susato and Kazuma, but he refuses to answer.
After that little scuffle, Gina takes a lot more notice of Naruhodo's surroundings. Sees how everyone seems tense around him and willing to ignore him unless it's absolutely necessary. Also, notices how weird Stronghart treats him. Acting like he is a pet and sending off this way and that.
When she brings this up to Naruhodo, he's dismissive and tells Gina that given the circumstances, of course, people are cautious about him. When she brings up Stronghart's actions, he gently chides her, saying that Stongharts has done so much for him and Scotland Yard, so of course he's gonna help him when he can.
She doesn't press too hard on the issue for now but makes it a note to herself to be there for Naruhodo. As given that both of them are outsiders here, they have to look out for each other.
And they do. When put on cases together, they shine and compliment each other. Naruhodo being able to read people and help Gina with her paperwork. While Gina speaks up for him when others ignore him and pushes people to follow through on his hunches.
They soon become a trio as Gina recruits Maria to their friend work group, becoming a rookie trio. Ryuunosuke, in a similar vein with Gina, accidently reveals to Maria that he can talk by getting scared and screaming when Maria expresses interest in cutting him open.
Maria likewise promises to not tell anyone, making note that really besides Gina and maybe her mother no comes to talk to her anyway. The trio get comfortable enough that when discussing case notes and theories, as long as their in the coroner lab's Ryuu feels comfortable enough to take off his mask.
During this time, Ryuu really feels grateful to both Gina and Maria. Before, he really only had Stronghart, who he was forced to depend on and really was the only person he talk to and, in a way, be himself. Now, in the lab, even though it has to be secret, he finally has a place where he can belong with people he can talk with, joke around with and bond.
Then comes the bad news. As throughout this time, Naruhodo has been keeping tabs on Kazuma and the gang even though he's not supposed to interact with him yet.
He starts looking deeper into the past cases that Kazuma has worked and really digs into case 1-5 and the circumstances surrounding it.
With the help of Gina and Maria, he's able to get more info and even decode the morse code message. Though Stronghart soons learns of this and decides to use this opportunity to push his own narrative.
Under the guise of doing his own research on the case, he invites Naruhodo to see the evidence he "discovered" on Kazuma and why he doesn't trust him.
He reveals to Ryuu that Kazuma signed and stamped an exchange student assassin contract and that the other exchange student was Asa Shinn, the real name of the woman whose crime he was accused of.
Naruhodo looks over the evidence again and again but can't deny that this is Kazuma's handwriting and personal stamp on the contract. Stronghart also needles in, that this is why he really didn't want Naruhodo to be in contact with Kazuma, as he was deceiving him.
Saying Kazuma pretended to be his friend and saying that he truly believed he didn't kill Wilson, knowing that it was part of the assassin exchange the whole time. Knowing that Jezell would get off scot-free and using this case as a means to get Ryuu to defend him later on for murder.
Naruhodo can't find a flaw in his logic, and this devastates him. He starts looking back on his friendship with Kazuma and wonders how long he had planned this deceit and if he ever considered him a friend?
(I feel like I should mention this jic but while it's treated as a throwaway line, Kazuma in the original does state that he didn't know the other exchange student and that case 1-1 was directly related to the student exchange contract and i am absolutely using that to create drama)
For about a week or so, Naruhodo withdraws and takes a break from working. Holing himself up in his apartment, which is under Stronghart's name. During that time, Stronghart makes sure he's visiting the lad. Comforting him and saying he's sorry that he had to find out this way. Meanwhile, he also pushes away any other visitors like Gregson, Maria, Gina, and even Van Zieks. Stating that he's sick and he can't handle any other visitors.
When Naruhodo returns, he mostly acts the same, but those close to him, especially Gina, notice a change. He's much more attentive to Stronghart and his demands, putting them at the highest priority. Slowly, the nickname "Stronghart Hound" starts to creep up and attach itself to him.
Gina, with her sense of loyalty, will yell at anyone who dares call him that. Though she can't help but notice that now if she even dares question Stronghart's motive around him, he'll act completely out of character and even yell at her for daring so.
Hey so it's come to my attention that the Creators of Disco Elysium want you to share the game and not give the company who took over and fired them (illegally)?) any profits off of their ideas and work, and I originally joined tumblr 2 weeks ago when that post was going around about the Steam sale and how you should [Skull and Crossbones flag] it instead.
So.
in light of that.
Check the replies/notes of this post :)
I was informed that posts containing links in them aren't findable in the search so i'll just.... drop a link in a seperate reboot :)
So he is so soft. Like he only likes feel good movies. Romance, Disney movies, and ones with not a lot of conflict. He sees a lot of death on the job and just... Doesn't want to deal with that outside of work hours.
He does have a bit of a skewed sense of justice though. After years of working in the agency, the phrase "an eye for an eye" means something a little different. A little darker. He doesn't flinch at a gun shot, or his agents blowing things up. Enemies are more like a number on a spreadsheet rather than actual human beings.
But by God does this man care for his friends so deeply. When he found out about Roxana working for Zor, he wasn't just betrayed because it's his colleague working for his enemy. It was his family turning their back on him personally.
But he forgives just as easily.
He likes to pull pranks in the office on the good/slow days. He has been asked to stop. That's partly why REALLY cares for Agent Phoenix's antics. HE can't get away with things now that he's one of the big shots in the EOD but Phoenix can. And Phoenix DOES.
He has an immense love of animals and they love him back. They can sense his good vibes and flock to him like he's a Disney princess singing in the woods. He could literally go into the woods and see like 100 animals. He has pet a deer before. He has photo evidence. He loves to bird watch from his office.
Reginald has insanely good luck. There have been times that he disarmed a bomb completely by accident. Sometimes he swears that his good luck transfers to his agents when they're on missions. How else did Agent Phoenix manage to live all those times?
But that doesn't mean that every mission is a success. He's seen a lot over the years and goes to therapy regularly. At least as regularly as the job allows. He's in and out of the country just as often as his agents are so if he can, he'll do online therapy sessions.
He has to keep busy. He's not one to sit around and do nothing. He NEEDS to be doing something. So he has taken up just about every hobby that he can while in the office. Knitting, crochet, writing. He loves to write murder mysteries but everyone tells him it's so obvious who the killer is. He doesn't care. He writes them and leaves them in people's offices for them to read.
Anything he knits is also distributed through the EOD. He's surprisingly good at it, actually. People love getting a pair of mitts from him and scarves are fought over. They're really cute and have really cute designs on them. All of them have the EOD logo on them.
One time he knitted so many things that he decided to donate them and the shelter actually had no room for all of them.
Agent Phoenix does not admit to it ever but every time he makes them something, they keep it forever. If anything gets damaged while on a mission they lose their mind over it.
He wears Crocs unironically.
Can't cook to save his life. Has literally never turned the stove on in his house. It's there for show.
He always wanted kids but was told very young that he was unable to have kids. He thought about adopting but he was always so busy and his work was so dangerous that he never let that thought be anything more than that. A thought. Once he learns that Agent Phoenix has no family, he takes the role of father figure so seriously that he almost starts believing that he is Phoenix's biological father.
That's why it hurts him when he believes Agent Phoenix to actually be dead. He has never hurt more than the brief time after the Juniper incident when he thought Phoenix was actually gone. Nothing in his life had ever hurt that much.
Still working on the 'Spy and the Liar' Headcannons, but this little nugget wouldn't leave me alone. Don't plan to do much with this AU after this post (it gets way more depressing than I wished it would), but mayb someone might enjoy this too.
Holy crap this ended way longer than I wanted it to be! This was supposed b a short little draft. Fuck me! This post might b edited later into 2 or 3 parts so it's more palatable. Spoilers for Spy and the Liar plus Cog in the Machine.
Now on to the AU where the agent becomes the monster they feared they'd become.
So with how Zoraxis works, agents don't really get a "handler" but when they 1st start working for the corporation, they get their mission briefing and report back to Solaris. Their relationship starts off neutral but becomes more antagonist as Solaris finds the Agent's destructive tendancies (now amplified since there is no positive influence for them) to be more of a danger to the operation as a whole.
Unfortunately for Solaris, as long as they continue to have successful missions, they will keep climbing the corporate ladder, and climb they do. It's pretty easy to when the standard for being a good Zoraxis minion is just surviving a mission (which admittedly is the same for The Agency) and being to come back alive with a success is noteworthy. With a few victories under their belt, the agent makes it into Zoraxis' inner circle.
Now nicknamed Agent Vulture, the agent acts the the personal bodyguard and hitman for Zor, Solaris, and the Fabricator. Mind you Zor never really leaves their hideout and Solaris at this point hates them, so the only one who really uses their services is the Fabricator.
The Fabricator seems to enjoy, or is atleast entertained, by their company. She evens learns sign language in order to better communicate with them. She discovers, that while not nearly as smart as her, the agent is pretty clever and has some great ideas. For example, they suggest making it company policy to NOT leave documents in the same room where such information can be used against them.
There's, at first, some push back by employees saying it would be inconvenient, but with the help of Fabricator's influence (and Agent Vulture threatening to burn everyone and everything a person ever loved to any individual who doesn't comply) it becomes standard company procedure. The agency is still able to get a few secret company files (too many guards are willing to assume the sound of broken glass is simply the wind), but there is a noticeable decline in data breaches
Because of this security improvement, The Agency is woefully unprepared for Zor's Death Engine. The Death Engine doesn't completely eradicate the agency but leaves them with little resources and a huge deficit in manpower. The Agency then decides to put what little resources they have into the robot agent project that Dr. Prism purposed
The robot agents do make things better for the Agency, as they are able to survive the numerous deadly traps that Zoraxis throws at them. Many are destroyed, but the information they bring back with them makes it almost worth the wasted resources.
Feeling cocky Dr. Prism starts sending them on unapproved missions to kill their biggest threat, Agent Vulture. It ends in complete failure. Time and time again, Agent Vulture completely destroys her machines, and in anger, Dr. Prism puts more and more resources that they can't afford to waste into trying to kill Agent Vulture.
It comes to an end when Agent Vulture is able to bring back an alive robot to Zoraxis Corp., where not only is the Fabricator able to reverse engineer them but also makes a device that Agent Vulture uses to completely wipe out Roxanne's robots. This absolutely crushes her, and while she still works for the Agency, she's a shell of her former self. After this incident, Agent Vulture's profile contains the words "Do Not Engage On Sight; Do Not Engage At All"
It only get worse for the Agency (I'm so sorry!) as Mission Mimic comes to fruition, as with the help of John Juniper, Zor is not only able to get the nuke codes, but also make The Agency an international pariah, forcing them to go underground. Even after the officials are released, most decide to follow Zor as they have become too powerful to oppose.
Some good news, though, is that John Juniper turns traitor and joins The Agency. Seeing that the real officials are now willing to comply with Zoraxis' demands, thus making him useless and seeing the chaos Zoraxis Corp. is unleashing to the world, John, steals the Mimic Mask and nuke codes and looks to the Agency for sanctuary. Using his acting talent and the mimic mask, he is able to secure some funds and information for the agency, and it keeps them a float but it can't last.
That's sorta of the main meat of the AU universe itself. But for those of still here, here's a little extra that could happen.
Zor, hearing that the Agency is still around, demands that the Fabricator build their most ambitious project yet, a time machine. With that, Zor will have Agent Vulture go back in time and destroy the Agency completely and root out all operatives.
The Fabricator is able to finish the prototype, but being impatient, Zor orders the agent to use the device. It breaks right after the agent goes thru. At 1st the agent thinks they've made it back in time, but with some research they figure out that they haven't gone back in time but to a different dimension, where The Agency has had more victories than Zor (aka our timeline). This would also take place a little after the 3rd game.
Agent Vulture's 1st plan is to get into contact with Zoraxis and get the Fabricator to build another dimension portal. In researching Zoraxis, they come across the profile of Agent Phoenix and realize that this is them if they had joined the Agency. Now, the plan is to kill Agent Phoenix,take their place in order to find Zoaxis, and take down the Agency from the inside.
At some point, they confront Agent Phoenix, kill them (or so they think), and take their place at the Agency. Living as 'Agent Phoenix' let's them experience all the things they thought they don't deserve could never have. Being seen as a hero, having a friend who legitimately cares about them and sees them as a person (yes I'm talking about Reginald!!), and the world not being plunged into chaos.
When the real Agent Phoenix returns, Agent Vulture has now a new, totally not insane plan: Kill Phoenix, ditch Zor, and just permanently live in this timeline. Of course, Agent Vulture is thwarted and feeling bad for them, Agent Phoenix suggests that maybe they should focus instead on improving their own timeline.
Agent Vulture agrees to try, though they're pretty sure if they try to contact the agency, they'd b shot on sight, and they'd probably let them. But Agent Phoenix and Reginald assure them that there will probably be one person willing to hear them out. (It's Reginald; it's always Reginald. If it wasn't obvious before, I hope it is now. He is my favorite character! I am a sucker for older british men looming voice character, i.e., Stanley Parable and Darkest Dungeon). So they contact Dr. Prism (who's on the lamb) and have her build them a similar dimension portal and send Agent Vulture on their way.
I've been obsessed with this series for years and my obsession has finally boiled over! These are just my headcannons for the 1st game, at a later point I will probably make a separate post concerning the other 2 games. Here we go!
So lets start with the agent, as their personality sort of drives their relationships with others. This agent has a bit of a chip on their shoulders. Absolutely was a troubled teen and not much better as an adult. A bit of an alcoholic, smoker, and arsonist, they were really just 1 decision away from being a Zoraxis Agent, but the agency had better benefits, plus they wanted to prove something to themselves.
The agent, for me, is the one that chooses more of the meaner/ speedrunner options. For example, instead of pretending to wash the windows, as soon as they are alerted to the enemy agent, they fire on site.
The agent is a talented spy and combatant, but their lack of cooperation and destructive tendencies has had them bunt heads with their past handlers. As such, they have gone through many handlers. The agent was probably about to quit/ be fired if they hadn't met Reggie.
Seeing that Reginald has been with the agency for years and has some connections with the higher up, like the director, him becoming the agent's handler was probably more of a re-training exercise. Essentially more about teaching the agent about the importance of working with their handlers and blah blah.
The agent is simply content to ignore him at 1st, treat him as white noise. But unlike his last like 10 or so handlers, Reginald doesn't really try to command them like a video character. Sure, he comments on their destructive actions ("Your tendency to light things ablaze, agent, concerns me.") but doesn't demand they clean up their mess it or even tell them to stop. He also actually mentions stuff that the agent deems important, like enemy agents ("Enemy agent spotted 2 'o clock, Agent! I suggest you take immediate action before he closes in!") As smug as the handler can be sometimes, he's pretty easy-going as a supervisor.
As for Reginald's thoughts on the agent, well, he can kinda understand why they might b a bit difficult to work with. The agent does like to cause trouble and unneeded destruction, but it has never intervered with the mission (well, not like in any meaningful way). He also notices that the agent is the most adapt to using their telekinesis chip. So thw issue doesnt come from a lack of skill. After interviewing some of the agent's old handlers, Reggie brings it up to the director that they may need to actually retrain the handlers instead. Some of them seem to not understand their proper role. That it's to b an assistant, not a commander.
Reginald also starts looking into the cases the agent has been working on and sees that these missions shouldn't b done solo. The fact that the agent was able to complete them greatly impresses him. Feeling a sense of responsibility now, as the agent hadn't really been with a great handler and had been forced to take on missions they shouldnt have, he decides to become the agent's permanent handler for now.
The two soon find themselves getting along really well, especially when the agent learns that Reginald knows sign language (yes I go by the agent is mute theory) and start even joking around with each other. Reginald proves to be a good influence to them too as the agent gives up smoking (drinking and burning not so much, but in better moderation). Reginald does get asked every once in while when he will stop being the agent's handler (as like I said earlier he probably has a higher admin duty and is really only suppose to be a handler for agents every once in awhile and not that very long either) but never really confirms a date and no one else is really excited to take on the pyro, so it continues like this.
Until Operation: Death Engine happens. Reginald is honestly surprised and pissed that the agency is sending them on this mission with no backup and deep into enemy territory. The agent is honestly touched as no one had ever really gotten mad for their sake. (Not that they'd ever admit it) but promises that they'd make it back easily.
Reginald is devastated when he hears about the explosion and subsequent crash of the space station. While recon takes place, Reginald becomes withdrawn, talking little and putting off work. Blaming himself for not doing enough and even at times admonishing himself for caring too deeply; for forgetting the number 1 rule: "Don't get Attached"
When the agent does return, relatively unharmed, Reginald just sends a congratulatory email and puts in the paperwork to move the agent to a different handler. Reginald, for a time, refuses any handler work, instead burying himself in admin duties. Though a couple weeks later, he is brought into a meeting where the higher-ups beg him to talk to the agent. The agency wants to use them for a plan, but the agent, like always, is uncooperative.
Reginald relents but says he'll just meet with them once. It's awkward when they meet up again. The agent is clearly tense, but overall, they are obediently listening to Reginald. It's only when Reginald is about to leave that the agent demands to know what is his problem. Why did he pretty much abandon them? Was it something they did?
Seeing his child the agent so upset. They both end up hashing it out and making up for now. Though there are some unresolved issues that may or not get mentioned.
I spent way to much time with this and it's late. Hope u guys enjoyed it!
