Pleased to learn that the FoxTrot guy has gone the polar opposite direction from the Dilbert guy.
This one made me laugh until I coughed.
noise dept.

Kaledo Art

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Misplaced Lens Cap

oozey mess

blake kathryn

titsay

⁂
sheepfilms
🪼
taylor price
Not today Justin

pixel skylines
Keni
Monterey Bay Aquarium
d e v o n
Xuebing Du
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
dirt enthusiast
Show & Tell

seen from Canada
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@oakleysds
Pleased to learn that the FoxTrot guy has gone the polar opposite direction from the Dilbert guy.
This one made me laugh until I coughed.
Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired
Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either
Nah I'm safe it wouldn't happen twice
Minions stop this post from reaching 1k
On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!
The problem with giving advice to angry and suffering people is that rather frequently the thing they need to know to improve their position is the last thing they want to hear and not something they have the capacity to internalize or accept
Unfortunate truths you can tell people that would help if they could hear what it means and not just what it sounds like
You were the victim, and it wasn’t fair, but it’s over now. Nobody came to save you, and I’m sorry, but it’s too late for anyone to go back and do it different.
You’re suffering over something that cannot be resolved. You’re allowed to feel angry, or outraged, or betrayed, but there will eventually come a time that you don’t feel that so violently anymore, and you’re going to want to have something good left to go back to.
You can’t make anyone love you the way you need to be loved. That’s how a lot of good things end. Not with a clear sign, something blocking the road that says “do not proceed”, just a splitting of the path that’s still moving somewhat in the same direction.
You can’t fix them. Nothing you can do will fix them. And if they fix themselves, they can’t do it for you- they have to do it for themselves as well, because otherwise a day may come when they’re alone, and as long as they live, they are their only true constant. So you can support, and you can encourage, but the hardest part is up to them. And sometimes they can’t do it even with your help.
Sometimes letting go of someone feels like mourning at their funeral before they’ve died, and every time you see them after it’s like talking to a ghost that doesn’t know it’s dead. Sometimes that happens. You’ll both still wake up tomorrow anyways.
I understand that you’re afraid, and that you’re afraid for good reasons. And I understand that being brave isn’t as easy as just turning that fear off, and you would if you could in a heartbeat. But the thing is, as long as that fear is able to dictate your choices, it will have power over you. If you don’t believe you can try to fight it, if you accept that it will always be in charge, you let the frightening thing stay present in your life. It will exist as long as you stay paralyzed. And that sounds cruel, but it isn’t something anyone can fix for you.
The person you may let yourself become after experiencing the terrible thing may very well grow into a much bigger, much more terrible thing, and someday it will swallow the first terrible thing whole. And all that will be left is something far worse for someone else. And you will not be able to shrink it down by explaining where it came from, because terrible things that are dead and gone are never as terrible as terrible things that are alive right now in front of you.
No matter how much or how little I love you, I still do not have the ability to help you the way you need to be helped. I might be the helper you want, but I am not a helper you can get. If you are to be helped at all, you will need to accept that it will come from someone else.
No tech CEO or NYT bestselling novelist will ever match the creativity of a humble French postman who decided on a whim to spend thirty-three years building a surreal, majestic palace with the bricks and mortar of his dreams.
Couple of interesting additions:
1. Ferdinand Cheval tripped over a stone and was inspired by its shape, eventually stating, "It represents a sculpture so strange that it is impossible for man to imitate, it represents any kind of animal, any kind of caricature. I said to myself: since Nature is willing to do the sculpture, I will do the masonry and the architecture."
Here's the tripped-over sandstone in question, which explains some of the abstract design:
Oh, and also:
2. He tripped and started this when he was 43.
What would a Yankee Candle go for in ancient Greece?
tbh the most confusing thing about it to them would probably be the glass that the candle is contained in. They might try to buy information about glass from you.
Yeah basically
Yeah I should’ve clarified (pun intended). They had glass in the ancient world especially in Rome and Egypt but it was basically super heated sand and color additives put in a mold and often looked opaque and kinda lumpy. Even if it was blown like it was in some regions it wouldn’t have looked like modern glass.
Clear blown glass like you’d see a modern scented candle contained in wasn’t invented until the late Middle Ages and certainly wasn’t mass produced until the 1500s and even then places like Venice that had knowledge of these techniques literally forbid their glassmakers from leaving their city or region so other people couldn’t make it, forcing artificial scarcity and making it a very expensive material.
So if you showed a yankee candle to an Ancient Greek, especially one from a city or something, they’d be like burning scented wax okay not something I’d do but it makes sense. Also how the fuck is that glass transparent.
Like imagine if someone brought you something weird but understandable contained in a material that they said was made out of wood and you could tell that it’s clearly made out of wood they’re not lying about that but it was also completely transparent and see through with no visible flaws. That’s about the level of weird we’re talking about here.
It isnt flawless, but transparent wood does already exist actually
What the fuck I feel like a medieval peasant seeing an iPhone
Who goes there
academic dishonesty is not something you can spin as moral lol i do not want to share a career field let alone a social sphere with a bunch of chatgpt using ass bitches
"you're just scared your diploma is going to devalue" i'm afraid you dumb bitches are going to become my colleagues and drag social services to hell
I'm afraid they'll become scientists and data that lives depend on will turn out to be wrong - and people will die.
I'm afraid they'll become engineers and sign off on bridge designs that collapse - and people will die.
I'm afraid they'll become medical professionals who don't know what they're doing - and people will die.
The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter.
"The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter."
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account
after a lifetime of hearing about aragorn but not reading the books or watching the movies, genuinely nothing could have prepared me for his actual introduction. the hobbits picked this man out of a dumpster. he is a textbook softspoken angst prince and he is covered in dirt and he probably smells so bad. he’s the coolest man alive and is so casual about it. his number one skill is Knowing Where They Are and his number two skill is Having A Horrible Destiny That Torments Him. tolkien got it in one i’m afraid aragorn son of arathorn you are the guy of all time
Flashback to the greatest foul in WNBA history. Diana Taurasi kisses Seimone Augustus in the middle of the game. Both were fouled for it.
Idk if im seeing things but I kinda love how the ref has a sly little smile on his face. himejoshi moment
anyway I was having this very vivid and unaccountably funny dream about what I suppose you would call a heist crew, except their MO was less about stealing and more about breaking into rich shitheads' houses to throw absolute ragers and trash the place and then disappear into the night. it was all very sleek and admittedly even sexy but the main thing I remember about this dream is that the leader of the group, who's exactly the kind of smooth young hotshot you think he is, was always in the process of getting spectacularly dumped at these parties. always a different woman. months of planning and stress and then when he should be in his element kicking back, accepting congratulations on all sides, man of the hour, he's getting dumped. again. and his whole crew is watching with a very low amount of sympathy because they love the guy but ooooh they know better than anyone that he deserves this. what the fuck was my subconscious cooking with this.
the gooners
they’re everywhere
Dat's right boss. Now just tell us what ya need and we'll get it done boss.
who needs ta sleep with da fishes boss
sorry bawss, I was too busy searchin up da anime girls boss. real pretty.
Forget dem anime goils. Dere only temporary. But da boss is forever. Right boss?
String identified: t g t’ at' gt . t t at a a ' gt t . ta t a a, a t ac a a g . a tt. gt a g. ta. t a . gt ?
Closest match: Oeneis jutta genome assembly, chromosome: 18 Common name: Jutta Arctic
(image source)
Da boss got turned into a butterfly!!
Wadda bea-utiful transformation, boss. goes to show youse gotta preciate the lil things in life
ay boss congrats on da metamoiphosis
#Please little bird
I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.
this is entrapment
two equally delightful paths here:
1) a very simple and genuine “i like your shoelaces”, which tells me that you are either a lesbian or a very cool ally
2) “i like your shoelaces” followed by the pronounced grimace of one recalling their past sins, which tells me that you were a 2012 tumblr user. i now hold the power in this conversation and you are at my mercy.
if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation
well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe
this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year
everyone lost
#tumblr is an ecosystem you kill one trophic level and everyone starts dying
(via @binguscore)
losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^
Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media
i think i had a stroke reading this
Not to bring this full circle, but I would still reply "thanks, I stole them from the president" in 2025.
Yall the point is that sex toys need to be in a sex store not a pharmacy. Also five year olds these days can in fact read, three year olds these days can read I work in a daycare I have seen it. And why would there be a sex toy AISLE in a PHARMACY in a DRUG STORE?? I’m so??? Sex toys don’t belong in drug stores.
I grew up in pennsylvania, which has pretty stringent liquor laws, so it was absolutely wild to me the first time I walked into a grocery store in california and they had ALCOHOL. RIGHT THERE. NEXT TO THE FOOD. I was shooketh, may I tell you! Alcohol belongs in The Alcohol Store! Why would you treat it as something you can just... purchase! With money and an ID! RIGHT THERE IN PUBLIC! How was anyone not worried that kids might... reach out and TOUCH a bottle!!
I got over it.
Anyway drugstores (in the US) also dispense birth control medications and viagra, sell tampons, antifungals, condoms, and all manner of hygiene products incl. douching kits. Makes perfect sense to me that they'd also sell sex toys. They've got everything else you'd put on your junk.
Eh, five year olds can read, but they're unlikely to be squirrelly about things unless the grown-up in question models squirrelly-ness.
Like, if I had been out shopping seven years ago, it would have gone like this.
Kiddo: For . . . her . . . peas . . . Me: It says "for her pleasure" but that's just for adults. Kiddo: Can I have a lollipop? Can we both have lollipops? I'm bored. Me: We will pick up the lollipops on our way out at the checkout. Can you tell Mama what's next on the list? Kiddo: . . . Cog soup? Me: Good guess! Cough syrup. And no, I don't know why gh says f in this particular case, letters do weird things. Let's go.
… cog soup.
#pharmacies are selling sex toys because they sell sexual health items#the fact that they don't have to be coy about it is a good thing as it denotes a huge advancement in our collective social maturity#which i am not about to have taken away by people who can't be bothered to explain things to their children#did you pop them out expecting to never have to think through what you're saying to them?#skill issue
Also I’m pretty sure historically doctors prescribed orgasms as treatment for “hysteria” so technically dildos and vibrators are medical devices.
love how tumblr staff has time to censor words like “paint mixing” and “my face” and yet they can’t get rid of ssexsophie8127 thats been liking my posts from 2017
fuck you
i won
We would fully accept any Japanese buckaroo
Foreigners will never understand how someone like Rawhide Kobayashi would immediately become a beloved local fixture in whatever small American town he ended up in.
every single time someone pulls the "How would you AMERICANS like it if someone came to AMERICA and" reversal, the answer is always "we'd fucking love it"
@kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
Your tags summed up the exact feeling I had about this
I just Googled the Swedish-Japanese guy in the OP, and according to this interview, his Japanese name was given to him by the master gardener he was apprenticed under:
“The family name ‘Murasame’ was given to me by my master. The given name ‘Tatsumasa’ is a combination of ‘dragon’ (tatsu), the [zodiac] year when I was born, and one character from my master’s name,” says Murasame."
So I think maybe it's less like naming yourself 'Brandon McFreedom' and more like moving to the states to work under a veteran car mechanic named Bud McLean, and then having him turn to you after a few years on the job, and say "Son, it's time for you to become an American so you can open up your shop. And when that day comes, I think the world should know you by a new name: McLeo GM Corvette."