Love thyself, Love others...Now repeat.
As a Woman, it's so necessary to be with someone that challenges you in a way that makes you want to know, grow and love yourself more.... As a Man, it's so necessary to be with someone that challenges you in a way that makes you want to know, grow and love yourself more.
When you're with someone that lovingly chastises you for wrong thought or wrongdoing, towards yourself and, towards others whilst being there to comfort you as you face the pain of the truth, never let that bugger go. They CARE.
In my past relationship, which I don’t see (that is...when I see clearly) the necessity to really ruminate over other than in my therapy sessions or when I discuss a lesson learnt, It was easy for my insecure, cyclical depressive self to think I was being cared for when my former partner would reject even the mere sight or sound of me when I beat myself up... I thought that that was a kind of care, but it was not. It is not.
If your friend was beating themselves up or insecure about something, would you threaten the status of friendship to try to jolt make them feel better about themselves? or would you be patient with them, honest with how you feel about them, lovingly; not judgementally challenge their thoughts and ensure they’re feeling a little better after each encounter? if no to the former. Why accept that from anyone else?
I’m not an expert on healthy relationships; no one is... One thing I am trying to learn and incorporate in my life is to stay awake to the things that may be hurting me and the things that may be hurting others around me from the action of myself and others. don’t discriminate- you are one of “them” also! you know...human beings!
If people hurt us and we have to do less-obvious mental acrobatics to get to a logical conclusion that they’re actually helping us- it’s not right. Stop at the first feeling and make a self-preserving decision from there.
Being strong is about being able to follow through with a decision that you know is right for you; not for your ever-wavering ego, but for your heart, your soul and the grand picture that is you and the universe.
Being strong is not easy to do, nor is it easy to reckon with: “Am I strong? I don’t know..but I’m a lil bit of a better person than I was yesterday” is a pretty awesome thing in itself to acknowledge.
Being strong starts with little goals like: I’m going to try to eat better, or; I’m not going to send that message, or call that person or etc..etc.. Well, that’s what I think when I see someone I deem to be strong. They hold themselves back from doing things that are just shitty. be the judge of that!
I regret times where I had no filter towards my ex when I was hurt. I drove myself insane & probably further humiliated myself by acting on self-feeding thoughts that told me that I could change a situation or person with the sharpness of my tongue. but now I know that I did or said things at a time where I was being me - just with less knowledge as to what would benefit me or the former partner in a loving manner. & that’s fine. We fall, we rise. just grow from it, seek peace in it and just work hard against that mental picture that made you that person.
Now I know, I just try to follow through with the new knowledge. Life has never been more transformed because of that. it’s really difficult because I do find myself thinking about the negativity of the past, thinking about “how dumb” I may have to have been to experience or do certain things, criticise, criticise, fixate, negatively ruminate, beat up, self-attack, self-destruct all because I feel that that is what I deserve.
You don’t deserve to feel bad about yourself, or to feel that you’re the worse person on the planet. With every wrong you have done, just work towards making it right in your heart & in the hearts of others. You’re a blessing to yourself, a blessing to others- to want to be and live that, is a path that you’ll never regret.
sometimes you won’t feel love for yourself or others, but if you learn to practice loving manner and loving thought even in the absence of love whether it be warranted or not, you’re doing the most beautiful, helpful, strongest thing for yourself and for others. Again, I cannot stress how difficult, yet rewarding it is.
Be transformed by action that does not feed on the fickleness of the flesh, but on the beauty, love and faith of the soul.
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