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Hailey // She/Her // 25

[cookiethebirddoll]

the authors blatant desire to be a girl that she thinks everyone has

[dailyclubpenguin]

[modernbaseball]

2 am: bedtime were meant to be broken 😈

7 am: I hope i get in a car accident

[estro-boi]

[energyprison]

americans after eating 2 pounds of pasta and getting sick: uh oh im about to enter a serious food coma lol

americans after eating 2 pounds of ginger beef and fried rice and getting sick: the devious CCP has agents everywhere

[thecaptainkindofgirl]

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

[creekfiend]

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

[screenshotsofdespair]

[threedollarsdotcom]

yaouch! that hurts me when you hit me until I'm blood

[argumate]

I think the reflective pool should contain giant salamanders

[captain-price-returns]

[qqchurch]

[dogpuppy]

[engulfes]

Love continues to be found in bread and in citrus fruits and cheese and spinach

[lillie-garden]

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

[helpeverythingiscats]

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

[lillie-garden]

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

[lopkelepke]

[nintooner]

for a better tomorrow