[Translated] You’re In My Eyes, Dong Wan
The original author 阿瑄_欧嘿哩呀 wrote this passage about Dong Wan for his birthday in 2012! Thank you for sharing once again!
第一次知道金烔完這個人，是從他退伍後上的那集強心臟。
The first time I knew of this person Kim Dong Wan, was from that episode of Strong Heart which he appeared after his military discharge.
那時候只覺得這位偶像界的前輩好陽光好開朗，談吐又很幽默，是很有趣的人。後來入了神話山後，才發現烔完有著難以與他陽光爽朗的外表聯想在一起的個性。
At that time, I simply felt that this veteran idol is so bright, cheerful, chatty and humorous. He is a very interesting person. It was only after I became a Shinhwa Changjo then I realized Dong Wan has a personality which is difficult to associate with his sunshine-like image.
就如他自己曾在BLOG所說，他對於自己被寫成「慷慨大方並帶領成員前進的人」是相當不好意思和感到抱歉的（註1）；玟雨也對SJ晟敏說過：「試著和他相處三天試試看吧！」（註2），由此可知，金烔完不像是一般大眾以為的那麼正面開朗。他不只想法特別，在生活上的眉眉角角和小規矩都很多，這都可以從神話放送找到證據：在《神話的品格》裡，時間都快不夠了還硬要用湯匙分綠豆煎餅；《神話來了》對著說要把泡菜加進炒雞湯裡的彗星不耐煩與發脾氣……以及無數次被黑白的冷笑話梗，都可以看得出他有他獨特的思路和堅持。
Just like what he previously stated on his blog, he felt embarrassed and sorry by a news article which described him ‘as a generous person who leads the members (blog post on 03/09/12); Min Woo also once said to Super Junior’s Sung Min: “Try being with him for 3 days!” (Shinhwa Broadcast Hallyu Channel). We can see from these that Kim Dong Wan is not as positive and cheerful like what most perceived him to be. Not only does he thinks in a special way, he is meticulous in his daily life and set many little rules for himself. The evidence for all these can be found in Shinhwa Braodcast – In the ‘Gentlemen’s Dignity Channel’, he insisted on using a spoon to divide the mung bean pancake despite that time was running out; in the ‘Farm Channel’, he was frustrated and threw a tantrum because Hye Sung wanted to add kimchi to the chicken soup….and the numerous black-white seals fallen on him due to his lame jokes, we can see that he has his own unique line of thinking and persistency.
他也特別敏感：玟雨就算戴著耳機做音樂，他在隔壁房還是能聽見（註3）；他對新粉刷的房間過敏，沒辦法好好入睡（註4）；背包一離身就會變得焦躁難耐……他非常重視「自己的」領域，對生活的平衡拿捏得很精準。
He is also very sensitive – Even when Min Woo worked with the headphones on, Dong Wan could hear him in the next room (Ya Shim Man Man 07/11/12); He is allergic to newly-painted rooms and can’t sleep well in them (SBS Good Morning 05/01/06); He will be flustered whenever he is without his bag…..he places great importance on ‘his personal territory’ and accurately measures the balances in his life.
擁有這麼多的小地雷、在生活品質上有點神經質的人，說真的，並不容易相處，而且很需要週邊的人的包容。（但也因為他自己有著敏感而略帶神經質的個性，所以他反而可以敏銳地發現他人的需要，能關心別人到極其細微的部分。）
Frankly speaking, it is not easy to get along with a person who is easily triggered off by so many of his little mines. He definitely needs others to be tolerant of him (but it’s also because of his sensitive and neurotic character that makes him more acute to the needs of others and meticulous when he cares for others).
這樣的人，怎麼會選擇了要經常與人接觸、需要他人認同的演藝生活，選擇站上舞台呢？
烔完是堅持自己的價值觀的人，不那麼在乎別人的眼光。可偏偏演藝人員又必須適度改變自己以滿足公眾期待…
How did such a person have chosen to lead a life of a celebrity which requires him to be constantly in contact with people and earn his social recognition? Why did he choose to go on the stage? Dong Wan adheres tightly to his moral values and does not really care how others view him. However as a celebrity, he definitely has to change himself to a moderate extent in order to meet the expectations of the public…
就算他仍不畏懼於照自己的步調行事（例如對私生歌迷灑水，例如公然在部落格上對人指名道姓地喊話，例如不顧正在錄影、用羽毛挖鼻孔），但還是會碰上需要調整自我的時候，我想他心裡有過的矛盾和自我厭惡一定也不少。但因為他心裡多少還是有著對舞台的嚮往，身邊有親友、成員們及神創的支持，他不只是走過了，還走了這麼多年。
Although he is still not afraid to do whatever he likes (for examples spraying water onto over-zealous fans, publicly reprimanding someone on his blog, using a feather to dig his nose during broadcast), there are still times he would need to constraint himself and these are the times which I think he must have felt very torn and disgusted. However, it is because of his deep yearning to be on stage and with the support his family, friends, Shinhwa members and Shinhwa Changjo, not only had he walked through this path, he has done it for many years.
「容易忘記自己是誰」是演藝生活特別辛苦的地方。我想，烔完之所以這麼喜歡看書、看電影、遊山玩水，也可能是因為他經常產生「自我認同」方面的矛盾。所以他需要出走，需要讓心靈跳到另個世界來釋放壓力，並理清自己的下一步。
The most difficult part of being a celebrity is ‘forgetting oneself’. I think the reason why Dong Wan loves reading, watching movies and hiking so much is perhaps he often has this contradiction about his ‘self-identity’, so he needs to take a walk outside, allowing his soul to venture to another world to release stress and also to think about what his next step would be.
開心就大笑，被踩到地雷就生氣，心情不好也能從眼神裡讀出來，不會因為他是藝人而多做掩飾。
他的眼神非常清澈並閃閃發光，完全藏不住事、不會偽裝。
Dong Wan is also a person who is true to his emotions.
He laughs heartily when he is happy and gets angry when his tail is being stepped on. When he is in a bad mood, this is also expressed through his eyes. He doesn’t deliberately conceal his emotions even though he is a celebrity. The expression in his eyes is very pure and sparkling with no hidden past and pretence.
還記得年初時，他常常看起來心不在焉的，有時候明明在笑、但眼神和氣息明顯就沒那麼開心…果然，事後證明那時的他剛和女友分手；為了玟雨而寫的那篇BLOG也是，直接指名對象，也說了自己不害怕被罵，就只是想表達自己內心的看法。
然而，更奇妙的是，在他清澈的眼神背後，其實又藏著很深的性格，要了解他、突破他的心房並不容易。近的時候可以很近、怎麼玩鬧都可以，但一糾結起來卻又縮得比誰都遠、脾氣比誰都大。欸，金烔完先生，你怎麼這麼麻煩啊？
Still remembering in early 2012, it was often seemed as if his mind was somewhere else. Even though it was obvious that he was laughing, his eyes and tone clearly weren’t that happy….
As expected, it was later revealed that during that period he had just ended a relationship; similar to the blog post which he wrote in defence of Min Woo, he out rightly stated the name of the other party and also said he wasn’t afraid of being scolded as he just wanted to express how he felt.
However more intriguingly, behind his pure expression of his eyes hides a very profound personality. It is not easy to break through the walls of his heart and understand him. When being very close to him, it is fine regardless how they fool around but once there is a dispute, he will withdraw himself the farthest and throw the biggest temper. Sigh, Mr Kim Dong Wan why are you so troublesome?
（我認為烔完不愛隱藏的真實性格以及容易起伏的情緒大大影響了他的演技，這樣的個性讓他成為一名深具潛力的演員，光從神放的惡角演技中就多少能看出烔完在短時間內的演技爆發力以及細膩度。）
(I think Dong Wan’s true-to-his-heart personality and heavy mood swings have a huge influence on his acting. Such a personality has made him into a very potential actor and this is evident in the Shinhwa Broadcast episode on ‘Villainous Acting’ where within a short span of time, we could see Dong Wan’s explosive and detailed acting.)
另外，因為他是這麼正直真實的人，他的話語更有說服力。
我很喜歡他在十週年演唱會上，在最後的TALK環節帶著微笑說的那句：
我喜歡他笑容裡的那一點困惑，那讓人相信他是因為真的覺得這不是悲傷的事情、所以才不懂為什麼大家要哭。
在演唱會最後落下橘色汽球時，他也是用帶著無奈、不捨但同時也滿足的微笑輕輕擦掉Junjin的眼淚。
Moreover, because he is such an open and honest person, his speeches sound more convincing.
I really like what he said during the last talk of the 10th anniversary concert. He was smiling as he said: “We are not even going anywhere so why are you all crying like this?” I like that slight bewilderment in his smile which made people believe that he truly did not think it was something to be sad about and could not understand why everyone was crying.
When the orange balloons were released at the end of the concert, he also put on a helpless and dismayed little smile and gently wiped away Jun Jin’s tears.
In my heart, that is Dong Wan’s most gentle smile.
和玟雨的sweet words給人的感覺不同，烔完的話語不見得甜蜜，但卻給人更多的「確定感」，很近、很真實、很貼近生活，或許明天我們身邊的人也會說出這樣的話。
Different from the feeling which Min Woo gives through his sweet words, Dong Wan’s words doesn’t sound that sweet but they give a much more ‘sense of certainty’. It’s close to the heart, very real and related to daily life, like something we might probably hear tomorrow from the people around us.
如果說彗星和ERIC是會給人距離感的「比較貴的」形象，烔完則是相反，他的魅力很平民，我們都可以在自己的朋友群裡找到與他相似的人：一個性格不壞，卻偶爾會讓你想掐他脖子或是覺得他很煩的朋友；一個平常生活自我，但在面對大事時卻又能站出來給予勇氣和堅定信心的朋友；一個未必是最貼心、最大方或最親切，但你卻願意一直和他在一起的朋友。
If we are to say that Hye Sung and Eric give a distant and ‘a more expensive’ image, Dong Wan is the opposite. His charisma is very ‘civilian’ because we can find someone similar to him among our friends – a friend whose character is not bad but sometimes you want to strangle him or find him being a pain in the neck; a friend who leads his own simple life but when faced with big crises, he will step forward to give support and confidence; a friend who may not be the most caring, generous or closest but you are still willing to be friends with him.
這大概是為什麼烔完明明如此「囉嗦」，卻還是能擁有好形象、也還沒被成員掐死的原因：
他就像我們每一個人一樣。He’s like one of us.
This is probably the reason why although Dong Wan is obviously so ‘long-winded’, he still has a good image and also why he hasn’t been strangled dead by his members yet – he is just like everyone one of us. He’s like one of us.
You know that he pricks but you also know how pure he is.
Kim Dong Wan, happy birthday~
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