QuaterLife

Just another lost single Quater-Lifie with small and greater thoughts. And maybe in this way some of them become Post-Its in this world. 📍Germany

[quaterlifie]

Thoughts about aging

The number has never been very important to me. I noticed that when I answered the bouncer's question with a drunken "old enough" . Not because I thought it was cool, but because it just didn't occur to me that quickly. I always handled it that way.

Until my 25th this year. Somehow I suddenly panicked and decided to celebrate my 24th. My friends played along but I never told them the reason. It's not the number itself. Objectively, 25 is still damn young and still has buffers to the threatening 30. No, it's the feeling of having to behave adult now, although I feel like 22. (Clearly, with a little more knowledge.) But while I feel like 22, I can't act like 22 anymore due to stress at work and general obligations. Puppy protection is over. And I have the feeling with it my inner energy is gone.

Additionally, instead of watching YouTube videos or buying overrated things or just talk with friends on the phone for hours about nonsense, now I don't allow myself to do useless stuff because it's wasting time or I force myself to stay organized because an adult is not supposed to be chaotic. And on the top my body is screaming: "you've turned 25, you feel like 22 but I'm already preparing you for 30. Now learn to go to sleep at 10"

[quaterlifie]

social criticism in your head

“Life is what's happening while you make other plans”. Certainly you know this quote ( of which I am not quite certain who said it or if it is just a one of those web-quotes). However, that can easily be transferred to social criticism thoughts. You can discuss all the good and bad in the world or sit on a bench philosophizing. However, when you finally formed your opinion on a certain behavior the real moment passed. 

Since to stop thinking about deep topics isn't a real option, I came to the conclusion that even by thinking about the most socially critical issues you have to decided whether you want to be part of society or not. And if so, you have to adapt to existing norms. It might not be the most charming view of the world or corresponding to our ideal of a society in which everything is possible but it is our world and we have to stop dreaming about it. We only have this one chance, do you want to give up on this just for dreaming of a better world? 

And please don't get me wrong. Being critical and questioning is more important in the age of fake news than ever. But only the existence of a norm doesn't make it to a bad one. And if something is bad or it might be an ancient norm, it is and will always be important to take action.

Just please don't get lost in your own thoughts.

[excitementshewrote]

[quaterlifie]

how my quaterlife appears to me... At least I have a kitty !

[quaterlifie]

F R I E N D S

We all have them. We all need them. But how do we find them ? Or how do we manage being found?

Well at school you entered a class and after a time you became friend with one or two of your classmates. ( or if you were popular with all of them) 

We were always taught to be kindly, to be open, to be helpful and not to rush it. 

Meanwhile we have grown up we learnt that you have to be cautious because not every friendly person is kind. Always expect the worst. Don't be to generous or you’re be exploited by them. And time. Well time is the only resource that's more precious than money. So how we are supposed to find new friends in a new city and at a new workplace with a attitude like this? 

You might have read already some advices online. And normally they are all the same. Start a hobby. Speak to people at work. Find alumni groups of your university. Register at apps for meeting people. The only important thing is that you leave your apartment. 

Well I can't agree more to the last advice but unless you won't find your child- attitude again you won't be able to finde one single friend in a group as big as Manhattan. 

At least that is my way to try. And be honest: There are way worser attitudes you can try to practice. 

[quaterlifie]

sad but true #2

Everybody is happy about their friends joy. At least you should.( Otherwise I might suggest you think about wether you are really good friends. ) When you meet them for coffee or a drink at your fav bar and they greet you with their brightest smile you are happy for them - even if your own life isn't going well. And when they even take the time to celebrate your bday with you, you know you can truly feel blessed. But ( yes here it comes) there is just one tiny problem when all your friends are happy in their relationships and deeply in love and you are single. (I know - it is always a bit difficult no matter how old you are.) 

But as a quaterlifie welcome to a new stage of singleness! 

As of now you don't meet cute people easily at the campus. You shyly smile at the supermarket at the super cute boy-next-door-guy and already imagine how you both could eat those spaghetti together until his girlfriend comes from the third aisle with tomato sauce. So you try your luck online. And after all the swiping at your dating app you think every suitable man/ woman is in relationships or they are too weird to be. 

But always remember (and I am sorry to say but as a single I consider myself as allowed) you are now one of them.

[quaterlifie]

sad but true #1

When your body asks for chocolate only chocolate can calm it. The only difference compared to your younger self is the time you need to work out to get rid of the calories. 

[deceptivelips]

The years between eighteen and twenty-eight are the hardest, psychologically. It’s then you realize this is make or break, you no longer have the excuse of youth, and it is time to become an adult – but you are not ready

Helen Mirren (via deceptivelips)

Well said ! But it’s much easier when you realize you’re not alone ! :) 

Behave like an adult or child ? I can't decide ! 

[quaterlifie]

It’s weekend - grab your bag(s) !

I travelled today to my moms home and when I arrived, she left for a Christmas Party ! Bad Timing! :D But so I take the opportunity to talk with you about the new kind of weekends in the middle 20s. Instead of opening your 4 o’clock beer with your friends to open the weekend, you rush out of the office to spend many hours on trains, cars or planes just to see your friends and spend some time together. 

Everything was better in the old days. I, myself, studied in a town not far away from home and many of my friends went there as well. And we had a great time ! A lot of relaxed evenings, parties and spontaneous coffee get-togethers. But more importantly we always been part of the others life, even if we haven't seen us for a few weeks. You know what I mean, don't you? But then you moved to new city or your friends left town.

And now? Staying in touch became more complicated... I, myself spend plenty evenings calling and skyping with friends. But be honest: To cheer each other in front of a webcam isn't the same then sitting in a bar with them!

So you have to find a suitable date, grab your bag and travel to one of the new homes of your friends! 

Beside the huge time, nerve and money loss there is - as promised- also a bright side: 

You experience new cities and could tell your new colleagues and friends  nearly every monday about those - what's kinda cool. 

You get to know a lot of new people at the parties of your friends. 

You’re not part of their daily life. Although you might have the feeling to miss something important about their life - actually to know every detail of their yesterday isn't that exciting. So when you meet you both made different experiences and can share them!

By traveling there only for meeting them it becomes something special. Valuable Friend Time!

Regardless of whether you’re sitting in a train/ bus/ car or skyping at home or just relaxing from your last weekend, I hope you have a great weekend! 

And remember: stay positive, folks, you aren't alone! 

[quaterlifie]

Everything is new !

Well, well where should I start ? Maybe a confession? I already created this account one or two years ago. haha okay maybe not a great or fancy  confession but a true one ;) A couple of months ago a new part of my life started: I finished my studies, moved to a new city and... felt lost. yes...during and especially at the end of my studies I always imagined this step as the ultimate freedom. Mainly freedom of the stress but also free to do whatever I thought I missed during this time. But as I arrived here it came to me that it wouldn’t be that easy peasy and it might take a lot of courage to handle with all of this. And this field of challenges is growing every day. But I also realized I am not alone at this. There is this word: ‘Quarter-Life Crisis’. Well I don't really like this phrase. Crisis means something that must be handled with and that your delivered to. There are a few articles about this and I was upset when I realized the most of them are about things you shouldn't do anymore in your Quater-Life and how uneasy life goes and as a real crisis it will go better some day. But instead of seeing it as a crisis , we should try to see it as an adventure. I will keep you up-to-date how my adventure goes and I will be happy to hear from yours! 

Stay hot, folks !